Help Your Kids Like Each Other... with Photos! | Using Memorable Photos to Grow Family Connection

0:00 welcome to Connected families discipline that connects videoast series for more information you can visit us at Connected families.org [Music] hi I'm Chad H and I'm here today with Lynn Jackson co-founder of connected families and today's topic is life defining photos now we've talked about a few different things here but I don't think we've ever brought photos into the picture so help us understand what do you mean by life defining photos well in the stress and the hurry and the

0:31 conflict of everyday family family life it's often the the times of strong emotions that get anchored as memories in our brain and so they can begin to sort of Define relationships uh you get through the end of the day you had 10 sibling fights break out and you start to think was a horrible day and you miss all the wonderful things in between so photos can help to redefine relationships not as just filled with conflict but also filled with love and

0:59 and fun and connection so you had a little conflict in your home okay as I recall the stories I've heard and read so how did how did photos uh help redefine uh those conflicts or that stress well the first thing was helpful to me because my little Creative Memories album time was really refreshing because I got alone I got creative so it refreshed my soul to just be with the photos and and look at them and work with them but then secondly it

1:27 was more about really trying to in on what God was developing in our kids in terms of character and be taking photos and then forming pages around those kinds of things as well as the connection in their relationships that they really did have in spite of the conflicts that were so frequent so you were really being thoughtful as you had your alone time and creative memory time uh with your scrapbooks about what partic you know about what was going on

1:56 with your kids and how you might uh help draw out some growth areas so what growth areas did you focus on well we you know for a timid child we focused on some challenges that they overcame we did a lot of camping uh we had when they were little we climbed a mountain you know we laugh in the face of danger was kind of the title of it so you would title them yeah we would title them to

2:16 make sure that that identity got through um you know there was times of serving others um whether it was breakfast in bed or serving on an Indian Reservation but specifically with um Daniel you know you strugg L with aggression and frustration and you know being sometimes a little pretty verbally hurtful so we were really careful to take pictures of the times when he was doing things other than that and so we came up with some fun titles that really helped cement

2:44 that identity real men snuggle was one random acts of kindness towards your family was another page another one was learning to be a gentle man um you know and then there's brotherly love and Playmates and soulmates and those kinds of titles that group the photos together and really built a positive identity for him as a loving kind boy that was really growing in those things so this is who you are yep yeah so uh my wife and I not

3:14 scrapbookers okay we've got we've got photos in in shoe boxes and photos on hard drives um so any thoughts or tips for for people like us who don't scrap book necessarily well scrap booking isn't necessarily as difficult as it you know is if you get all the paper and the scissors and all that stuff I have one coaching mom who just her face lit up and she said you know her four-year-old is struggling with being aggressive

3:37 towards the two-year-old brother and just I'm going to just you know work with my older son to make an album of the fun that the two of them have and just do it online with a little clip paste stuff um and then you know other things that you can do is just be really intentional to either photo or video some fun connective kind interaction of your kids during the day and and then whatever whoever is the working parent

4:01 gets to see that at dinner time and the kids can tell them all about it or you can email it to a grandparent or whatever um you know you could print photos just put them you know on on a color printer or even black and white put them on the refrigerator and so that it's a reminder of the kids of the kindness and the connection that is growing in their relationship those images are so powerful and Lasting as

4:24 well yep so you're looking at a photo with with your child how do you Maxim the impact of that photo to build character and identity with your child well we have actually at Connected families developed a a way called the ABC affirmation and I'm just going to Quick give an example of this and then uh folks can search for it on our website just type in ABC affirmation and it's a great way to build skills identity and character um and wisdom in

4:51 your kids so for example this photo of Daniel I would review it with him and go go Daniel do you remember when you're hiding under the blanket on Bethany's 7th birthday and you popped out um with our little keyboard set on happy birthday and you danced with her in your suit around the living room before she even had breakfast look at the expression on her face oh my goodness she looks so happy in that you were such

5:18 a blessing to her and you practiced the skills that are and the and the kindness that is going to make you such a good husband and Dad someday that was so creative and thoughtful so in that I told I talked about what specifically he did that was helpful I talked about the benefit and the blessing both to Bethany and to him and I labeled it with a character quality of creative and thoughtful and so it just

5:43 packs a lot of affirmation and then you combined that with that visual image and you've gone a long way towards building positive identity and character in your kids such a huge thing and something that I probably would never have paid attention to or thought of in terms of maximizing photos so Savor the moment with your kids uh get into the photos and uh and see what character and identity we can help our kids develop thanks so much Lyn we appreciate your

6:10 Insight in this and uh thank you for joining us at Connected families