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Take a breath before you step in

Dr. Vanessa Lapointe · 1m · transcribed May 2026
More from Dr. Vanessa Lapointe Family and Health
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0:00 Most homes we're talking about we can't hurt people, we can't hurt our stuff and I won't let you hurt yourself as sort of like our baseline and then everything kind of flows from there. There are times even when a child is maybe crossing one of those boundaries where it would actually be appropriate for you as a parent to be like, "Nope, I'm not stepping in." And that would be if you stepping in carries with it a risk of

0:26 you like vomiting out your mouth all your own programs in myself. I always feel it come up from my belly and it's just like this sort of wave that starts to take me and I know before it gets to like the last cortical cell in my brain that I need to go to the bathroom, you know, like I just need to buy myself a minute to take a breath to come back to center to remember the truth of who I

0:47 am, who my child is, and then I step back into the moment and hold that boundary with firmness and kindness in equal measure. When we can do that, then all is right in the

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the importance of maintaining boundaries in parenting while ensuring safety for both children and the home environment. They advocate for a balance between firmness and kindness when addressing boundary crossings, suggesting that parents should take a moment to center themselves before responding.

- Establish a baseline of safety: no harm to people, property, or self.
- Recognize when to step back instead of intervening, especially if personal emotions are overwhelming.
- Use self-awareness to manage emotional responses before addressing a child's behavior.
- Balance firmness with kindness when enforcing boundaries.
- Taking a moment to breathe can help parents regain perspective and clarity.
- Maintaining boundaries helps create a stable environment for children.
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