Do we still need butterflies? Can we bring them back? 🦋

0:00 This is a fantastic question. Is it possible to bring back the butterflies in a relationship? My solid answer is absolutely yes. And is it necessary? I would also say yes. I think that it doesn't have to be and it won't be that same kind of heady concoction of dizzy love and passion that you had maybe when you were first falling in love. But I do think that sexual friction, tension, intimacy, flirtation, fun, the draw, the polarity between masculine and feminine energies, the game, the chase, all of those things are a big part of the glue that keeps our partnership alive, vital, interesting, um, and something fun that we want to continue. And also really the way that we bond. One of the big mistakes that couples make in modern day is that we think that everything is communication. Oh, I've heard that so many times. Oh, our problems are always all about communication. Communication is important for sure. But what lies beneath good communication, what comes at a much more primal, guttural, you know, deep level is bonding. Okay? Think about a mother and her newborn baby. She doesn't need to go to talk therapy to talk to her baby and figure out problems and communicate. If there's a problem, she needs to work on the bond, on nurturing, cooing, hugging, touching, being close, skin-to-skin connection.

1:17 And that's actually also true in our marriages to a large extent. Our intimacy in marriage, it's the sexual intimacy. And the bond is the glue is the basis of a marriage.