How Does Parenting by Connection Fit in with Other Parenting Styles?

0:00 [Music] and parenting is a nonprofit organization it's been around for over 20 years and the purpose is to support parents to acknowledge that parenting is real work it's important work it's hard work sometimes and parents deserve a lot of resources and support

0:31 I think the challenging thing about motherhood is it's really emotional um a lot of things ignites our emotions and it's really hard to deal with so we're here to provide those resources and to make parents aware that support's out there you got to ask for help there's nothing wrong with that parenting is not something that should be done in isolation I was at my Wit's End dealing

1:02 with my U then uh almost a three-year-old not wanting to go potty training waking up from night scares and a lot of other things so basically I really needed [Music] help

1:35 [Music] [Music] so I think the class gives parents a place to meet one another and to form that sense of oh hey we're all in this together we could help one another we're all working toward the same thing and builds a sense of unity that parents and families get a lot less of today than in

2:06 former Generations a lot of children's behaviors ignit our own emotional um States sometimes it's good we feel great love but at the same time we get really angry and frustrated so emotionally it's hard [Music]

2:43 authoritarian parenting is a parenting style that's very high control but not very high on um empathy or emotional connection it's kind of the suck it up and get it done kind of parent so she looked at how kids that were raised that way turned out and she compared them to kids who were raised with what she called a more permissive style where parents were emotionally

3:15 involved or invested in their children but very do what you want come in when you want where what I think of is a more kind of a DE PE hippie style more relaxed these two groups of kids neither group did especially well the kids that had wheel High control when they were growing up became young adults that rebelled yet the kids

3:48 that were all about the emotional basis without the guidance uh didn't do well either they didn't self-regulate well they did their executive functioning skills weren't good good what Bon Ryan's research suggests is that we should be looking for an authoritative style of parenting that's high in involvement and high in emotional connection kids definitely need limits and they definitely need guidance but they also need empathy and they need

4:19 that sense of being heard and being understood in who they are as much or even more than what they [Music] do one of the things you got to remember with toddlers is they're built to explore so sometimes you just got to let go of your agenda and follow middle

4:52 childhood is a lot about why and how come and do I really have to and it becomes much more an exploration of rules and social norms recognize the scientist in your school age child one thing that's really important to keep in mind with your teenagers is arguing is good that means they respect your opinion that means they value what you

5:25 have to say and you're helping sharpen their their thinking skills when you argue with them remember that the places in parenting that get really hard the places where your kids drive you nuts are places where it was hard for you when you were being [Music] parented your kids really don't need

5:57 that much from you but but they need a lot of you so whenever you can give them [Music] yourself