This tool will stop your kids fighting and help them be friends

0:00 hi I'm Laura Zane my hand-in-hand instructor in Barnett's North London and I wanted to share with you a story about some special time really turned some issues with sibling rivalry around in our family so we had a pretty tough summer for a whole variety of reasons and by the time autumn came we were really struggling I was doing a lot of stay listening a lot of setting limits with my kids doing my best to keep them

0:27 safe but it wasn't it wasn't really working so well and I realized that we'd become a bit ad-hoc in our approach to special time we weren't doing as much as I wanted it wasn't hugely regular so I decided that we really needed to give it a good try so we shifted from slightly random afraid Schmitt to doing 15 minutes every day straight after breakfast which is a big big commitment my kids are nine and six and it's a it's

0:55 a big chunk of time to invest but what was amazing was that very first day that we did it things changed like they went from fighting almost all the time to cooperating it was incredible and we did it every day we were really good for a couple of weeks and then there was a day when I was busy in after breakfast spot some reason so we missed it and the difference was so noticeable they they just couldn't bring themselves to be

1:20 nice to each other they were bickering the aggression was back and we really struggled that day until I think my son had a piano lesson and some point mid-afternoon I said am i right we really need to do some special time and we pulled it back together we did some special time and again the cooperation came back for about two hours they just straight off to the special time they just went off and they played and played

1:42 and played and played and it was amazing I didn't even got to hang up the washing without anyone fighting the background and what I've really noticed we've been doing this for oh I don't know a month and a half maybe now and actually what's happened is it's not as critical that I do at the same time every single day anymore I don't have to do exactly I'd have to be as rigid about how I'm doing it because we seem to have built a lot

2:06 more flexibility into the system I still really need to be doing it at least most days and addy chunk of time but if there's the odd day where we skip it or the odd day we're in a rush and we can only do five or ten minutes and that's okay their cooperation is so much better sibling Rover is almost a thing of the past at the moment I kind of feel like I shouldn't say that right now it's just

2:26 been incredible to watch I always knew special time was special but I've not seen it work this powerfully on a single issue that's so true there when their buckets are filled when their cups are filled then they're able to be kind to each other they'll be able to cooperate to play well together and family life is so much better I'm enjoying them so much more as well and so if you if you haven't tried using special time in a consistent way I

2:50 really urge you to give it a go it's incredibly powerful