Control versus space when teens are acting out

0:04 so you know teenage hood is a male storm of conflict and no one better than our teenagers than to really defy us on every issue so teenagers commonly you know problems that parents face they they take drugs or they party too much or they date the wrong boy so parents often wonder how do we discipline them in these moments and my approach the spiritual spiritual approach the conscious approach is to first resist the desire

0:34 to create control because it is that desire which will perpetuate the problem so the first thing we need to do when we're being conscious parents and our teenager is really being outlandish and breaking all rules is to back away from the problem step away and in fact do what's counter-intuitive which is to create space to ease into a sense of abundance because we often rush into the sense of lack my kid is going to be a drug addict he's going to be in jail

1:02 he's going she's going to get pregnant we need to step away because these are all our anxieties that are being triggered and this is the height and time the developmental age when parents really enter this heightened state of constant anxiety because teenagers live on the edge they're testing themselves they're they're understanding who they're becoming they don't yet have an identity this is the age they're going to experiment and go all the way to the edge the

1:29 capacity that we have as conscious parents to hold them within a space of trust acceptance nurturance and abundance we have to come from an abundance based model which says i trust you i know that i've parented you well you're going to find your way and if you aren't finding your way it's not because you need more control but you need more understanding