We want our kids to lie.

0:00 Here's why you want your kid to lie to you when they're young. A lie is a kid's way of saying, "I was scared you would be mad at me. I was worried you'd be so disappointed. Honestly, I did something that I don't even want to face, and so lying to you is just a way to avoid that reality myself." Now, let's be honest. These are situations that are going to come up over and over again. And the way we respond to our child's lie will dictate how they handle similar tricky moments in the future. So, would you rather have an opportunity to intervene effectively when your kid is three or five or not even have it come up until they're 17? And we know the stakes are higher, the truth is heavier, and maybe by then the habit is to hide. When your kid lies to your face, we don't need to throw them a party. But if you come down really harshly, go to your room, we don't do that. Here's your punishment.

1:02 You better bet the only thing a kid is going to learn is how to be better at lying. When you respond with some version of, "Look, I found out about something that's different than what you told me. I want to talk to you about it because I care more about working through this together than the lie in the first place." You set the stage for truthtelling when your kid is older and things are more serious.