How to Handle a Stubborn Child Without Losing Your Mind! Riddhi Deorah Parenting Expert & Influencer

0:00 Foreign how to deal with stubborn kids. And that's what I'm going to discuss today. I'm Riddhi Debra, parenting expert and influencer. And a lot of parents ask me this question that how do we deal with stubborn kids? Our child is being very stubborn, is throwing a fit, and it becomes very difficult for us to handle our child sometimes. So in this video, I'm going to share a few points with you which might really make things very, very easy for you.

0:26 So the first and the most important thing that you have to do as a parent is not let child's mood affect your mood. Which means that you have to try and stay calm. Every time your child acts very stubborn, cries or throws a pit, you have to remain very, very calm. And that's a commitment that you have to make to yourself. Kids are very tiny and they find it very, very difficult to regulate their emotions. But as parents, we can do that and we should aim to do that.

0:55 We have to try and really stay calm when our kid is being stubborn. And because if you raise your volume, it's just going to make the situation worse and it's going to become even more difficult for you to handle. And one easy way that you could actually try and stay calm is to breathe. Now, this might sound really funny or unreal because we are breathing most of the time, but when your child is being very stubborn or very loud, breathing really helps.

1:23 So what you really need to do is you have to breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. And the rate at which you exhale should be twice, twice as less as the rate at which you inhale. Try doing this. It's going to really, really help you. So first is to stay calm. Second, sometimes you have to empower your child. You have to honor the decisions and the choices that they make. And when you do that, you'll automatically see that your child calms down and becomes less stubborn.

1:54 For instance, let's say your child wants to go for a party and you are not very sure. You don't think you want your child to go for that party. So instead of saying no to your child, you can actually tell them, okay, you can go for the party. But I, as a parent, don't approve of it. So you know when you do that, you're actually honoring the choice that they're making, but you're also letting them know that you're not okay with that.

2:20 And that sort of confuses the child a little and maybe makes them think again about the decision that they've made. And Sometimes they might end up choosing the decision that you wanted them to make, wanted to make for them. So this is very effective. So honor their choices. And this will also help you build a nice emotional bond with your child. So that's number two. Honor their choices. Number three is try to change this emotional power struggle into a dialogue.

2:54 So every, every time your child is being stubborn, cranky, or a swing of fit, you can actually ask your child a few questions. You can ask them, okay, you want chocolate? Okay, now can you tell me what kind of chocolates do you want? How many chocolates do you want? And you will see that your child is going to stop crying, is going to start answering your questions, and towards the end of this conversation, you can actually settle for something less.

3:23 And it's going to really work for you. It's very, very effective. It's going to change the power struggle into a dialogue between you and your child. And the fourth, and the very important one is to use empathy instead of anger every time your child is stubborn. Because when you're angry, you have this attitude to blame your child and to hold them responsible for their actions or to feel that what they're doing is absolutely inappropriate. Whereas if you use empathy, you have an attitude to show care and concern towards what they want, and you will be in a better position to handle the situation, and you'll be able to find a solution in a much, much more effective way.

4:06 These strategies really, really work. But it's very. It's not that simple. It can take some time for you to get there, but the sooner you start, the better off you will be. So please do try these techniques. And always remember, it's very, very important for you as a parent to stay calm. And that's a commitment that you have to make to yourself. It's not going to happen automatically, but once you commit, you'll see it happen and you'll see everything become a lot easier.

4:36 Thank you so much.