Transcript
0:00 so she's talking about a connection that seeking child that you know they're they're actually they're push and pullers uh they want to crawl in your womb one time and then slap you in the face later so uh that's a connection seeking child and so they want so much to be seen they need on a schedule times that they can predict they will have time with you so if you have a daily schedule I don't know if
0:32 you guys can see back in the back but these are just little poster boards I'll just use one so here is my daily schedule up here and so I usually this is back in the day U but I would use just a close pin or a clip maybe with their picture on it and so you pick some times in the day preferably at least three where you're going to give some one-on-one time and it's only going to
0:58 be like a minute or two but you're going to actually sit with them and be with them play with them face to face but when they start to do cons con connection seeking behaviors during the middle of that you say oh it's not our time yet but they can predict when it will be their time because it's like a a a child sensory seeking you know I need more of this sense to stay regulated this child does need that so you can
1:28 figure out how far apart was going to do and who's going to be offering it to them but you've got to meet that need so that's how you get them but again if I and the reason they're so connection seeking I could never predict if it ever was going to happen right so do you see what we've done it's right on the schedule you know we follow this schedule and you're in the Dagon schedule now and you and I would make it
1:57 more structured I would have it these I think these are flowers or something on the floor there's a one up here that on the carpet is a yellow flower it's for 2 minutes on the yellow flow at this time and you put it time where you have that two minutes they're doing something else or you know you've got to work it into your schedule or if you can only do it a minute maybe you add a couple more times to do it you
2:24 have a timer you have a spot it's so predictable life is good so what that does is give the child the predictability calms this down giving them the opportunity to be able to receive it a little more graciously as opposed to
2:55 scrapping for it this is survival this is emotional and you're talking about the connection piece but you got to get rid of this piece put this piece in place give them this peace and life should be easier for the both of you
Summary
- Connection-seeking children exhibit behaviors that reflect their need for emotional connection, alternating between wanting closeness and pushing away.
- Establishing a daily schedule with designated one-on-one time can help children predict when they will receive attention.
- Using visual aids, like poster boards with clips for scheduled times, can enhance a child's understanding of when they will have focused interaction.
- Even short, structured interactions (1-2 minutes) can significantly benefit the child's emotional regulation.
- Predictability in connection helps calm anxiety and reduces the child's need to "scrap" for attention.
- Parents should incorporate these scheduled interactions into their daily routine to foster a more harmonious relationship.
- Providing a timer and specific locations for these interactions can further enhance the child's sense of security and structure.