Watch this if you're a parent

0:00 In the aftermath of some recent tragic events, my son he would just lash out physically and that scares me. What tools can I give him to help him regulate his emotions? The place that I would begin as a mother in your shoes would be to go to what about that scares me. The parent makes sense of their own stuff. The second part is to understand who your child is cuz he's desperate to be heard. Would you identify him as a sensitive child?

0:27 >> Very much so. >> Yeah. And so it makes sense that he would be undone. The biggest gift that you can give him right now is to invite all of that forward, to have some boundaries around it. So if it's getting physical, you say that must stop. You're really upset. Do you hear it firm and kind? I really get why you don't want this to be happening. You know what sweetheart, if I were you, I'd be just as angry. I'd want to say all of those mean words to my mom or my dad, too. I really get you. So as he fires up, you're stepping with compassion and settling him down. As he fires up, you're stepping in with compassion and settling him down. So the more frequently that occurs, the more likely you are to make inroads in growing him a brain that is capable of internal self-regulation. You don't teach him how to self-regulate. You gift him the experience of having been regulated from the outside by his person, you. So you show up with the swagger and the energy of the great mother. Do you know her? I I think I do. Yeah. The great mother steps in and she squares off her shoulders and she knows that she is her son's best bet. There ain't nobody else on this planet that can show up and gift him these experiences in the way that the great mother can. And so you shall.

1:50 And so your son should lash out at you. Why? Number one, because that's what's happening. And Byron Katie says you can argue with reality, but you will be wrong only 100% of the time. And the second most important reason why is because it takes you into your wound. And when you're in your wound, you get an opportunity to heal it. If you never get into it, you never get to heal it. So every time he freaks his on you, you be like, I'm so grateful to you.

2:18 Thank you for this gift that I get to grow myself. And you be grateful for the opportunity it gives you as the great mother to show your son the way through. So one day he will grow up and he will become the great father. That's how we change the world. Thank you.