# Threatening Your Kids | #GetSetParent

**Creator:** Get Set Parent with Pallavi
**Platform:** youtube
**Duration:** 2m
**Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PhxdtErIgc

## Summary

Dr. Paliva Chaturvedi discusses the negative impacts of threatening children to get them to complete tasks and offers alternative strategies for parents. She emphasizes that threats can damage long-term relationships and lose effectiveness over time, advocating for more constructive approaches to motivate children.

- Threats only work while children are under parental control; they become ineffective as children gain independence.
- Using threats can scar the parent-child relationship and diminish trust.
- Constant threats lose their value and can lead to resistance from children.
- Five constructive alternatives include:
  - Making tasks interesting and playful (gamification).
  - Using rewards and recognition as positive motivators.
  - Explaining the rationale behind tasks to appeal to children's logic.
  - Avoiding arbitrary removal of privileges to maintain their value.
  - Using polite language and requests to foster respect and cooperation.
- The goal is to build meaningful, long-term communication with children rather than exerting control.

## Transcript

[[0:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PhxdtErIgc&t=0s)
finish your lunch quickly or I'm going to call the police if you don't finish all your homework on time I'm going to put you in boarding school threats threats threats hey everyone my name is Dr paliva chaturvedi I'm an early learning expert and a parenting coach so today I thought we'll touch upon a topic that forms a lot of our conversations with our children during the formative years and this is about threatening our children to get work done hasn't this

[[0:30]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PhxdtErIgc&t=30s)
happened to all of us we're all bound to have done that at one point or the other what are the long-term effects that uh threats have on our children and is that really the only way to get work done let's explore that and I'm also going to give you five Solutions uh which will help you in your daily lives to get work done out of children without threatening them so let's look at a few so my dear

[[0:57]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PhxdtErIgc&t=57s)
parents there are three critical downfalls of threatening our children right so the first negative impact is that threats work only till the child is in your control once the child becomes independent it's going to fall on deaf years the second most important Point uh threats Scar the long-term parent child relationship in more ways than you can imagine and the third Point let's face it you know after a point they're going to lose value if we're going to threaten

[[1:27]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PhxdtErIgc&t=87s)
for everything there's no value left so here are my top five picks on how to get work done by your children without threatening them number one try and make the task interesting and playful gamify it and make it interesting for them the second Point reward and recognition work as better positive motivators for children number three appeal to The Logical and rational intellect of the

[[1:58]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PhxdtErIgc&t=118s)
child try to explain why something has to be done number four don't attempt to take away a privilege at the drop of a hat right it's going to lose value and number five use the word please and request very consciously and conspicuously so dear parents our objective at the end of the day is to build a long-term meaningful dialogue and a fruitful conversation with our children right into their aduls and not

[[2:28]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PhxdtErIgc&t=148s)
to control them so this habit of removing threats from our conversation and replacing it with Alternatives is going to come with a little bit of practice but once you get the hang of it it's going to become a way of life so let's try this and look at the significant shift it makes in our connections with our children