The Proven Method for Creating a Meaningful Family Life

0:00 hello and welcome welcome to the three keys to creating a family life that you love and who doesn't want that and before we even start I'm sure there's plenty about your family life that you already love and I want to actually take a moment with you for us to just settle in here together and to even close our eyes and to start thinking about the things that we love and about the things that we dream of

0:26 for the future so right off the bat you're here with me now let's just take a deep breath in let's just connect to that vision and that dream that we have for our family life because I'm going to bet that you like me went to Great Lengths to establish your beautiful family it's not easy to start a family it's not easy to run a home and we put tremendous energy into it and I bet that you have big dreams for yours you have

0:55 these this vibe that you want to create you have an atmosphere that you want in your home you have the types of relationships that you are hoping to build with your children and that dream is so important and so big and so profound and I am here to honor it with you and to make sure that we actually take the steps that it takes to get there all right so how do we as parents take these steps and you can let me know

1:22 right now in the chat what do you do when you're like oh I want to create you know more peace at home I want my kids to listen to me more I want to create more order in my home I need to organize it better one of the things that I do I'm totally guilty of this and I think most of us are is that I turn to social media and why not it's a place where we

1:41 can pull thousands no millions of people's wisdom maybe billions and we get a lot of inspiration but one of the darker sides of social media is that it can lead us to feel comparison itis it can lead us to feel like we're lesser than other families we see everybody's highlight real and we compare that to are behind the scenes and that's not always so favorable am I right another thing that you might do and this is totally positive all of

2:08 these things are you might create mood boards and vision boards and imagine what it is that you want for your future and again that's a great thing but sometimes we can feel like why am I not hitting these goals why does my life not look like my mood board yet right and you can attend workshops like this master class right now we can learn we can take classes we can go to therapy we can go to coaches uh we can scroll

2:33 endlessly through blogs and articles and Vlogs and you know this is just what my Pinterest look like today okay here's what Pinterest is serving up to me signs of bad parenting 36 clever mom hacks that you need to know five parenting mistakes that will damage your kids mental health right and we see these lists and I don't know about you but I feel like wow there isn't enough time in the day if this was a fulltime job I

2:58 couldn't get through all these articles and even if I read through all of them could I even Implement a small percentage of them I don't know do you let me know now the thing is that here's what I already know about you just because you showed up to this Workshop just because you're nodding along as you say yes social media scrolling mood boards pinning coaches therapists thinking long chats with my husband into the night you know coffees with my

3:22 girlfriend trying to brainstorm how do I do this parenting thing right here's what I already know about you is that you are curious your loving you're engaged you're open-minded you're invested you're willing to grow you know you really really care deeply you're a very very caring and loving parent and that is incredible and with these types of you know goals and Ambitions and that type of character that you and I have that we're searching for answers we can also

3:53 sometimes feel doubtful hesitant like our constant searching can leave us feeling guilty or worried or even ashamed about past mistakes I mean have you ever had that experience I've had this so many times where I read an article and I think oh that's exactly what I just did right or oh I feel so guilty about my past mistakes or I feel so anxious about the future because this article is telling me that I'm going to damage my kid forever with these

4:20 behaviors right and it kind of perpetuates that continuous sense of searching for the answers do you know what I mean what I want to offer you here today is a big old pause to all of that consumption okay you can still enjoy you know Netflix or Pinterest for recipes and for entertainment but I want to offer you the opportunity to press stop on the endless consumption of more and more ideas more and more Corrections and switch modes into creation just like

4:53 someone who's constantly looking at recipes but never actually doing the recipes we don't want to be like that inent parenting where we're constantly looking at ideas and looking at other families and feeling that jealousy and that fomo but not actually creating the results that we want in our real life and that is going to be the big change that I promise you here today and I want to thank you so much for being with me because this is my absolute passion and

5:18 my life's Mission and I really believe that it is possible and available for you so today we're going to unlock the three keys that are going to help you to implement right your vision for your family what came to your mind when you closed your eyes just now right maybe it's family meals or time in nature or an organized home or a meaningful relationship with my kids or less conflict or more ease all of those things are amazing goals let me show you

5:45 the keys all right so stick with me here we're on a journey and I invite you to say hello in the chat introduce yourself I'm going to introduce myself in case you don't know me yet hi I'm aitel I am the mother of five I'm happily married and I'm the founder of high famam and of the higham studio which you're going to be hearing more about today that is my membership where I teach all of these

6:08 things now as the mother of five here's here's one thing I can share with you which is that I really understand that the mental load of parenting is extremely heavy I mean let me know right now if you feel that if you feel that this is a bit of a weight on your shoulders managing the day-to-day schedules managing behaviors managing emotions you know keeping the house organized and on top of that you probably have some desires for self-care

6:34 or to do your day job or a million other things that we need to do now emotionally we worry about our children's future right hands up if you worry about your children's future if you know if you feel like you look around today at today's youth and you think I'm worried I don't want my children suffering from anxiety and depression I don't want them to be captured by bad ideas I don't want them to be estranged from me and just leave

7:02 home and never look back right I want them to be able to stand on their own two feet to be financially stable to be healthy in mind and body right but before we even get to the Future let's stay in the present we might feel overstretched and overwhelmed right now like there's more on my plate than I can handle I can't tell you the amount of times I have felt I can't handle this it's too much right just

7:24 that feeling of my life right now is too much it's too much for one person you know they say that it takes a village to raise a child and then you have to ask yourself okay so where's the village do I have to call someone are they just going to show up where are these people right why is it just me all the time and if we even travel further back in time to the past we might feel guilty about

7:46 mistakes we've made you know I've had the great honor and pleasure of coaching thousands of parents and one thing that happens consistently with all the parents who I have ever coached is that they tell me some kind of guilt story they have in their past oh I didn't breastfeed for long enough I had a cesarian section I yelled at my kids too much I didn't spend enough time with them I went straight back to work right they have some kind of story that

8:11 they hold in the depths the darkest depths of their heart of why they've damage their child of why they can never be forgiven and why they're always going to be ashamed and this is something that I really want to coach you and myself to forgive ourselves to lighten our load and not to feel so guilty but what do we do with these feelings well we go searching for the answers right you go to The Experts you go to the blogs you

8:33 go to the books now disclaimer I'm about to say some tough love controversial countercultural stuff if you don't like that now would be the time to leave I totally get it but if you're here for the ride I want to just tell you clearly that I love parenting books in fact I'm a bit of a parenting book junkie I've read over a hundred parenting books in my time I've taken courses I love this stuff and with that with all of that

8:58 exposure knowledge and deep dive researching here's something I've realized what answers do we actually find from these books what answers do we actually find from all these articles and all these blogs and all the mom fluences and all the coaches that sound a lot like me and that YouTubes look a lot like mine and I know I'm totally part of this ecosystem but what are the answers that come to us often the answers look something like this and

9:25 just let me know if this is something you've noticed or as I'm saying this if it's ringing trueth for you more special time your child is acting out because you don't spend enough time with them right your child is lying or stealing or throwing things or Screaming because you don't give them enough attention they need more attention you need to follow careful scripts the way you're phrasing it is wrong you're praising too much you're not praising enough that language

9:53 is shaming that language is not empathic enough right you have to be more careful and edit and moderate the way that you speak is that something that you've picked up on you need more empathy you need more validation you need to be there with your child more offer them more eye contact offer them more kindness and calm and presence you need to explain more patiently when you want something can't just tell them what to do you've got to explain you've got to

10:18 offer choices right but not too many choices you've got to offer at least two but not four that's too many right hey you need to be more playful you're too serious you're too scary when you yell it's damaging them for life it's the same as you know spanking you got to be more playful and you've got to be a better role model you've got to First regulate yourself you've got to start with you you've got to show them how to

10:42 have manners and how if you say thank you for the first 10 years of their life then in the 11th year they'll start saying thank you right you've got to model more now here's the good news all of what I just said great advice these are good tools why not sure good modeling good emotional regulation great scripts here and there that's all fine but here's the bad news it will not make parenting easier right we all know this

11:10 it's going to make it more intensified it's going to put everything back on you uh there's always something that you could improve in yourself there's always a way that you're imperfect because I I happen to know that you're human and so I just happen to know that fact about you right and it won't make your child behave better I mean it might in a very minor way or in a very specific way right it's not a bad idea to be good at

11:33 communication skills and self-regulation that's a good idea but it's not going to solve the majority of the problem and it won't help you enjoy your family more and I'm going to illustrate for you exactly why and what we need to do instead so don't worry I'm not just picking holes in this I'm actually going to lay out an alternative plan all right the truth is that robotic parenting is not the answer and this is something I've heard from so many of my students

12:00 are like thank you AEL thank you for telling me I don't need to be a robot I can unbox my smile and I can un you know coat my my voice and sugar I can be myself more I can be more natural and in fact robotic parenting is going to deplete you it's going to exhaust you of course you're not enjoying it when you feel so stifled right so scripted right and these scripted rehearsed gentle peaceful conscious parenting won't get

12:28 you there there where to that vision of yours to a great family life I'm going to explain why don't worry I won't leave you hanging just bear with me here because it's important to understand that it is not about how nicely you ask Listen by all means ask nicely say please can you put your shoes on or just say shoes or whatever you say that's fine but it's not about how nicely you ask those things are all important I

12:53 teach them myself I'm not trying to degrade them they're just missing the more important bigger picture I'm going to explain exactly what I mean so how will I illustrate this well I want to ask you what do you need to perform well what do you need to have a great atmosphere at home what do you need to show up at your job with great energy what do you need in order to be you know your kindest best most

13:15 energetic most helpful most productive self well I can tell you um what I what I need okay uh I don't need my partner my boss my colleagues to speak to me in a sugary sweet way they don't need to tiptoe around me or be on eggshells okay I mean I like it when people are nice to me right that's nice but what I really need for me to perform my best well here's a list okay I actually need quite

13:42 a lot of things all right for example I need a good night's sleep for everyone in our household I need predictable routines I need Clarity I need organization in my head about what we're doing and when we're doing it I need an organized physical environment is that true for you too does CL overwhelm you does a busy you know messy household make you more edgy and irritable I need healthy food when I stuff my face when I eat two tubs of ice

14:10 cream I don't feel very good then I feel you know crabby then I'm more you know unkind and unpleasant and less likely to do the things I meant to do I need time in nature because again I'm a human and humans need time in the sun we need time with green this is so much research and back to back it up uh that we know that this is true uh I need tech free time right I if I'm glued to my phone on my

14:33 screen for eight nine 12 hours a day I'm not going to perform at my best I movement right whether it's sweating running lifting weights doing yoga just moving my body a little bit I I mean hey let's all do it right now just roll your shoulders just you know get out those creeks in your neck we already immediately feel better right I need time with good friends so that I can unpack my feelings and feel like I'm in

14:58 a community community and feel like I'm not alone so you know exactly how people talk to me is maybe responsible for about 5% of my behavior but what's actually responsible for how I show up to my day is my habits that's what makes the biggest change these habits of good sleep etc etc all the things I just listed are going to completely influence how I perform and what atmosphere I create around me what my energy is so I don't need sugary fake

15:30 or even particularly worded requests from everyone like it's nice if they talk to me nicely it's nice if they make eye contact but what I really need is habits if I have the goal of showing up and teaching my daughter to read I need to establish a habit a daily habit where we sit down and we do reading together right for uh showing up and creating videos on my podcast or doing my coaching I need the Habit right uh for

15:56 uh having a really easy piece ful bedtime routine that is predictable I need a habit I need to generate that uh showing up with energy to my work or as a daughter as a wife as a mother right these are all things that actually rely on my habits how's my morning routine do we get out of the house easily does every is everyone used to what they need to do right getting on shoes brushing teeth Etc well here's the thing is that

16:23 this ratio it might be a bit extreme but I think it's somewhere around this this ratio is the same for your family okay just like it is for you it's for your family it's not about more and more and more parenting right parenting skills are good but they will not account for the vast vast untapped area of family habits if you want your child to be able to get ready independently in the morning that's

16:54 habit if you want them to live a life of movement and health if you want to have regular family meals where you have deep conversations and discuss your feelings if you want to impart a peaceful uh predictable bedtime right you could do all the parenting in the world talk to your child like this talk to your child like that empathize validate reflect mirror right all of that stuff it's not going to give you a peaceful bedtime if

17:18 you haven't established the Habit if you haven't created the environment right it won't it just won't help it will be the same battle day in day out you want children who help who do teamwork who grow up to know how to make simple meals and keep their environment clean and respect property those are all habits that we entrench at home if prayer or spiritual practice if uh connection with nature being outdoors if reading and a love of books if organizing our home all

17:49 of these things are habits that we can create and we must create them as family habits it's not enough to just role model them not enough for just you to do these things we have to actually create a family that understands what we do as a family how does this thing work it's predictable it's organized it's repetitive so take a look at this with me now and if you've been multitasking if I've lost you come back to me because

18:15 this is a really important point I'm going to illustrate it for you right here so make sure to be looking at the screen okay parenting is a heavy load on you how do I know this because you are lifting all of that work all of that mental labor all of the mental load saying the right thing in the right way with the right facial expression with the right interaction that's all on you when you bring habits into the equation

18:41 they lift up the parenting for you okay a child who is used to having an Incredible family meal every evening and they know that they set the table and then they wash their hands then they sit down together and then they ask each other about the day and then there's a gratitude practice and then we clear the table as a team and then I go to my bedroom and and you know and get into pajamas Etc I've established those

19:03 habits I don't need to parent I don't need to keep negotiating keep explaining keep talking through it because the habits are doing the lifting for me in fact what you'll notice is I can go and rest my you know often my house will just kind of run like clockwork things will move forward okay I don't want to paint too pretty a picture we still sometimes have you know conflicts and things that I want to deal with but just

19:26 this week just this week I was really bus busy at work in fact I Was preparing for these sessions here and I didn't get to making dinner I was too busy and my children okay my children were like you know what Mom we've got this and they went and prepared dinner for me for my husband and for their two little siblings okay my elders three why because they had the Habit they have been cooking they have been learning to

19:49 clean they have been learning what we do you know and I thought it was going to be a disaster but it wasn't and I surprised even myself that the habit had simply been established and therefore they were able to do it now you might be asking yourself what are these habits and I've been teaching them in various ways but I want to tell you they are all packaged up for you with a bow inside the studio membership this is something

20:13 you can join today the doors are open right now I will break it down for you step by step by step things like learning how to handle money things like critical thinking skills things like being screenwise and not being addicted to the screens like taking a break like working as a team right like building good friendships all of those things are packaged up for you and I will exactly explain to you what each habit entails and why this is critical for your family

20:41 now whether or not you join I want to help you with those three keys that I promised and we're going to dive right into that right now because I want to help you implement the studio is a membership exactly for this for building a meaningful Family Life One habit at a time and I invite you to join you can go to High iam.com studio and join right now doors are closing soon for an entire year and I really want you to get this I

21:05 really want you to establish this because it's lifechanging I believe in this so much I have seen so many families go through this process and it's heartwarming and incredible but whether or not you're able to join the studio right now I want to help you unlock the how how do we do it how do we actually build these habits how do we overcome the inherent obstacles that are there okay so this was the message from Fatima who said you know this list of of

21:33 different ideas and different habits it's beautiful but also there's too much to do you know I feel like if I don't manage it all then I will have failed and so I don't even begin how many of you have that feeling like oh the task is to too big it's too daunting a v tell you just showed us like 30 different habits we're supposed to establish uh I don't even know where to begin what should I do I just give up uh to begin

21:56 with I don't even try you be thinking to yourself you know I'm not even going to try and join the studio because I can't even do one habit right but that's where you would be wrong because that is exactly what I would advise from you when we feel like there's too much to do and I'm so busy and I can't do it here's what we need to remind ourselves of okay you are the captain of the ship

22:23 okay you are the captain of this ship and that means that we need you you at the helm okay you need to be holding that steering wheel you are the captain now yes my my pets my dears my loves there will be stormy seas okay there will be there are times in our parenting when you know things are tough we go through financial turmoil there's disease we're helping a elderly parent our children come up with some kind of

22:50 diagnosis uh there's you know political unrest whatever it is there are stormy seas and those are the times that we even also need to be at the helm and there will also be smooth sailing there will be those beautiful times where things are manageable where you feel in control but the thing that you need to know is that you're the captain either way in both scenarios whatever happens and a small change today okay you you join the studio you take on one habit

23:20 just one okay just one it will have outsized benefits and here's what I mean I want you to imagine a compass and we're we're charting a course we're drawing a straight line okay I'm directing my compass North and so I keep going north and I hit my target now what happens if I move my compass only slightly just the slightest touch right to the east what's going to happen well I've just completely changed my destination right this is the difference

23:51 between hitting you know Australia or uh Africa right I'm getting to a different continent because I've changed my direction just by a tiny change today you could change the entire Legacy of your family for generations to come and I mean that literally okay so I want to invite you today to make a one deegree change okay a one Dee change for a completely new course right to Charter a completely new course for your family you don't need to take on all the habits

24:23 you need to take on just one okay and The Meta big real family habit that you need to take on is the very awareness that you've already gained here today so you've already done it which is the awareness that family habits is how we create a family life we love this is the tool not more and more and more and more parenting it's not here in your throat it's not about how nicely you ask okay it's about creating the habits that

24:52 create the family okay really important and just to illustrate this this was just such a heartwarming story and there are thousands like this and I won't you know share all of them you can find more at ham.com Studio but look at Leslie she's been a member for two years now and she feels more confidence and Joy by this tiny change what was the change she re she decluttered her pantry okay her pantry was cluttered and she took on the

25:18 Habit inside of the studio she got the coaching she got the accountability she got the step-by-step guidance and she decluttered her Studio her pantry okay now what did this mean for Leslie what it meant was that she feels more guest ready okay she was less embarrassed by the way her her house looks so suddenly she's more welcoming she's more inviting her neighbor knocks on the door to borrow sugar and she says hey do you want to come in for a cup of coffee and

25:42 suddenly she's creating a friendship all because she de cled her pantry so do you see how just a one degree change just one thing that I take on can make a massive change in my destiny for my entire family all right and if you want the kind of guidance the kind of accountability the kind of Step by Step uh to get these kind of results then just join me in the studio and we will do it together you don't not have to do

26:07 this alone all right so this is the number one high-f mindset that drives Us in the studio one degree of change okay it's always just one degree of change all right let's keep going here's another question that came in from Alice who said awesome ideas where on Earth do I start okay I feel like I'm just keeping my head above the water with day-to-day stuff if I had to do one thing which should it be so Alice is asking

26:30 okay a one degree change but which one degree change okay where do we start and I want to take you back uh maybe this was very recent for you or maybe it was a little while ago but I want to take you back to when your baby first started walking okay maybe you're in that stage right now when your baby is just starting to take their first steps okay now there is a saying that says the best

26:57 time to plant a tree tree was 10 years ago right then the tree would be fully grown by now and we could enjoy its shade and its fruit but what's the second best time to plant a tree if I didn't do it 10 years ago then when should I do it well the second best time is right now okay now our children know this right our babies aren't like oh I should have started work walking a day ago I

27:22 would have been ahead of my friends they just start where they are they start right now and I want to ask ask you look around what could you do right now what's one little habit that you could establish that could make a big change for you but it's a baby step and you could take it on right now think about our babies they don't say well I can't run so I'm not even going to learn to

27:44 walk right no they don't say all or nothing they say small and something they start small and they build from there first they roll from their backs to their tummies then they crawl then they take one step they fall down but then they take another step and eventually you know most of them get it and that is what we need to adopt in our mindset don't say to me AAL I can't join the studio I can't take on all these

28:10 habits because I don't even know where to start and I'm so overwhelmed no problem I'm gonna Pace you through just do one tiny thing and you'll see outsize benefits I want to give you a really important example did you know that there is one habit that families can establish okay just giving this to you for free right now and please please take it and run with it one habit that has outsized benefits it actually prevents or you

28:36 know contributes to preventing uh incarceration drug use teen pregnancy it improves academic skills it improves uh physical and mental health you know what this habit is it's just a simple habit you don't even have to do it very well have a family meal together sit down and eat together without the TV on just doing that once a week will make a massive difference to your family so I guide my students to take one step and

29:06 then the other we can learn from our babies in this right what's the next right thing what could I do that is going to move us towards uh you know a better atmosphere my child's going crazy and giving me a headache what's the next right thing should we all go outside and get some nature time right I'm in here I've got tons of work to do the kids are going mad they're making a mess in the

29:26 house what's the next right thing should we get out a craft project so that they can do activities next to me while I finish my job right I'm in the kitchen everything's a mess my my baby needs to nurse I'm ex what's the next right thing should we go and snuggle in bed and take a nap and come back to it when we're feeling more energized this is a question that can guide you no matter where you are what's the next right

29:49 thing even if the whole morning was chaos I was yelling I didn't show up the kids were awful can we just hit the reset button and move move forward to the next right thing because success breeds success and here is something that's really sad about parenting is that we never celebrate our wins we never say you know what this morning went smoothly or I didn't yell even though I wanted to or we all got out in

30:13 nature even though it was a bit crazy and I believe that we do need to celebrate our successes so that we can keep going right we all need pats on the bag and you as a parent you don't get raises you don't get uh you know yearly reviews you don't get a salary you don't get Awards or trophies or accolades or awareness and probably no one even knows what you're doing and probably no one even knows your wins and you might feel

30:38 really invisible and that's no way to live right so I'm here to recognize your wins the studio Community is here to recognize your wins but most of all I want to encourage you to recognize them and to take note of them take a look at Rachel who said my kids are working as a team okay it was a rocky start but she finally started her family meal and it gave her the incentive she needed to finally start teaching her kids how to

31:01 cook right and look they're learning knife skills they're making salad snacks instead of junk food this one habit of starting a family meal cascaded into so many other habits and that's the beautiful thing is that habits stack on each other right you start one good habit it begets another one it's a virtuous cycle so if you feel stuck in a vicious cycle I want you to ask yourself what is the next right thing and start a

31:26 virtuous cycle in instead okay and finally Jess wrote I love the idea of setting up rituals and traditions of teamwork but the problem is there's always drama when I want to try these things how do I do it without the drama right how can I have a family meal without the drama how can we get out in nature how can we be scream free without the drama how can I do more reading time or more peaceful bed times or an

31:48 organized family routine or declutter the playroom without the drama it's a good question isn't it is that something that you ask yourself as well like I would like to do all of this but there's always drama there's there's chaos there's yelling okay if so here's what I want to tell you you're asking yourself the very normal very common question how can I do it without the drama but my friend this is the wrong question and here's why

32:16 family life has drama that's just inevitable that's just built in that's just how it is and there's something about our modern way of living that makes us think that it should be drama free that it should be more quiet and more peaceful etc etc but that kind of trips us up if we avoided our dreams because of the drama then we would never get anywhere right like we're never going to move forward we're never going to try things we're never going to have

32:43 fun you're never going to have that family life you enjoy and love if there's drama that makes you not do it so instead rather than finding ways to do it without the drama okay I actually want you to flip that on its head I want to say do it it with the mess do it with the rush do it with the Tantrums do it with the drama okay there will be drama it it's almost sure do the meals with

33:12 the drama do the outings with the drama establish these habits the bedtime routine with the drama okay this is a really important Mantra that I teach inside of the studio you do it with the drama and here's the beautiful thing you do it enough times with the drama the drama decip itates okay that's the power of a habit if I hate working out but I keep doing it eventually there'll be much less resistance in my mind I'll

33:41 break down that threshold if my kids hate brushing that teeth but we brush that teeth and they hate using a seat Bel but we keep using a seat belt eventually they stop resisting so much because why resist right this is just a fact of life is just how things are done it just becomes obvious so you do it with the drama this is anelli who's a mother of six and she went out on a tech break

34:11 hike right to be screen free and in nature to be fit to find peace of mind to to find beauty and to bring her three her six kids and their three cousins right now you might say oh my go she went out with nine kids that sounds like lots of drama she did it with the drama with the crying baby with the diaper changes with the kid who says I'm bored I want to go home with all of that she

34:33 did it with the drama and that's why she gets to brag to celebrate the win to be happy with herself that she did it nonetheless she did not let that stop her and I don't want you to let it stop you either so don't let the drama stop you the drama will go it will end you have to keep doing it until the drama disappears okay don't let the drama beat you you beat the drama do it with the

34:59 drama all right so how exactly are we going to establish these uh these habits that I keep talking about these important family habits okay how does it work well first of all you need a plan right just like if you wanted to start Fitness or you wanted to get out of debt you would go to a coach a financial coach a fitness coach and they'd help you come up with a plan they would give you clear goals that were reasonable

35:22 that were realistic and they would help you break them down into small steps then you would also need coaching right you're going to hit bumps in the road you're going to hit resistance you're going to find it hard you're going to need to customize it and most of all you're going to need the mindsets like the mindsets I've just given you here today like do it with the drama right or like the idea of continuing to show up

35:44 like you're the captain of the ship these are the types of empowering mindsets to be able to achieve your goals but then one of the things that research has shown us improves our results on our resolutions by about 65% is accountability right you need a community that will help you to show up with consistency and everybody I don't mean you I mean everybody needs that we all need people who we commit to who we show them our goals who are also on the

36:11 same Journey so that they can influence us okay now I want you to consider how much we invest in things like college degrees right I mean people invest tens and sometimes even hundreds of thousands of dollars in getting a college degree for their career and that's all fine and dandy but what about our families right even our driver's licenses get more investment of time energy and money than our family does and creating a family

36:41 life you love is arguably the most important thing in the world right it's the most important relationship of your life but we invest almost nothing in establishing these habits right like if I want to get fit there's a fitness coach there are Fitness plans there are Fitness members ships I can join all of that I can get the I can get the customized plan I can get the videos I can watch them if I want to get out of

37:04 debt if I want to get a driver's license if I want to get a degree I can find the mentors the programs right even the the the colleges that are all dedicated to that to those studies but what is there for us as parents what helps us Crush our goals as parents do we even think of ourselves as having goals for our family we should because the truth is that families rise and fall to the level

37:28 of their habits if you establish great habits slowly but surely if you stack them on then you're able to create the family life that you love to live and a meaningful family life is built just like that one small habit at a time and there's a lot of research to show exactly how we build build these habits what the Cadence should be and that is something that we should rely on and utilize not just in things like Fitness

37:55 but also in things like family now I do need to kind of warn you in a way not to be a fear mongerer but if you don't build great family habits then someone else will do it for you I want you to think about all the influencers all the ticktockers all the apps right uh some of them uh could be somewhat predatory or just bad influences right they just might not have the values that you necessarily agree with you might not

38:21 like their message right nothing against crowns and dollar bills and gold pumps but maybe that's not what you want leading and influencing your child's brain and instead I actually want to help you to become your child's biggest influencer I want you to be able to say I am going to set an incredible tone around here I am going to establish really great habits around here I'm going to create an environment that actually brings out the best in all of

38:48 us right that we can all perform to our highest level just like I said it's not just about how you parent it's not just about how you talk to your child it's about the the environment that you create and if you're thinking a ital my house is cluttered I don't know even when to begin my schedule is disorganized I don't know how to get it in order my kids are unruly I'm worried I'm raising jerks um you know if you're

39:10 just feeling like I don't know where to begin then I am here to guide you okay I want to invite you to surround yourself with other parents who are on the same Journey okay I have thousands of students inside the studio we are all on this journey we are all there because we want to build a family life that we love we want to create great habits we want to raise great kids we want to impart

39:30 values and Common Sense and that's a bit countercultural and a bit controversial and a bit of tough love like I promised it would be that's not what most parents are busy doing but I know that you're not most parents because you are here so let's start creating a family life that you love and I invite you to join me inside the studio today make sure to hurry because doors are closing very soon and they'll stay closed for quite

39:56 some time and also you really can't afford to waste any time when it comes to creating these habits right the best time was 10 years ago the second best time is right now so I have time for just a very few questions that have come in I'm going to spend a moment or two answering each and then we'll close up I love what you teach but I have a very different family than you how do I know

40:19 this will work for me so this is one of the most common questions that we get asked I have a different family hey let me know which type of family do you have maybe it's a blended family maybe you have same-sex parents maybe you have adoptive children or foster children maybe you have children uh who have special needs maybe you have lots of children or only one child or children who are spaced or twins maybe you

40:41 homeschool maybe you Public School uh maybe you're religious maybe you're atheist there are so many different types of beautiful and incredible families let me just tell you this inside of the studio we've had almost a hundred countries represented okay people from over a hundred countries all different walks of life all different Faith uh all different types of families uh everywhere in the political Spectrum it's truly a beautiful and diverse community and we all come under the same

41:11 Mission which is to build a strong family culture right to create these great habits to be leaders and captains for our children and to give them common sense and values and so if that's something that speaks to you then this will work for you okay you don't have to have a family like mine you don't have to be a parent like me in fact I hope you're not I hope you're a parent like you my goal is to empower you to take

41:36 back your intuition and your instincts to feel that you are the expert on raising your children that actually in the end you need less you know coaching and support and help and experts because you have formed yourself into someone confident with a strong backbone with broad shoulders with clear thinking with a powerful and empowering and compelling Vision that fills you with conviction right that's what I want for you and so that's I can say that this

42:05 will work for you because I've seen it work for thousands of parents and when I say work right that's what I mean I mean they can go from a situation that makes them want to scream that makes them want to run away that feels chaotic that feels out of control that feels like they don't know what to do next that feels disorganized uh feeling like their kids just never listen feeling like parenting is very thankless right to

42:27 feeling like you know what there are still challenges my kids still act out sometimes I still lose my cool sometimes but wow parenting has become The Greatest Adventure of my life I am loving it I am you know really enjoying every moment yes I still need a break sometimes but I feel really empowered and really capable and I feel really confident that I'm raising my kids with the values that I believe in I'm excited to try it out great quick

42:57 question you call this a proven method and what do you mean by that okay so what I mean by that is pretty much along the lines of what I've just said is that this method is actually based on years of research trial and error um and uh I've been teaching it for about seven years or so right in it's evolved with time we we actually recreate and redesign and re-edit the materials to constantly tweak them and improve them

43:25 and get you the best results and keep it the most up toate right uh this program is based both on science and research and data but also on Common Sense on Ancient wisdom right uh on uh on practical Solutions and on design which by the way I didn't go into here but that's my background that my background is in design so I'm very into practical you know real life Environmental Solutions okay and I I have just really

43:58 thousands of students who are alumni who have been through the program for years we have members who are in their fifth sixth and seventh years in the program and uh we see the result and I have I have a goal in my mind this is my selfish goal for me in my in my kind of mission in my work in this world which is that I have I do not like vanity metrics okay I don't care how many

44:25 subscribers how many views how many comments how many people watch my stuff why because that's just more and more consumption the fact that people are watching more and more of my things I mean that's nice that's flattering that's fun but it's not proof that they're getting results the only thing that I care about in my programs is when people come back to me at the end of the program or they've you know they're in the program for over a year

44:49 and they say to me every tell this is where I was before and this is where I am now okay before I felt like I was drowning and now I feel like I'm flying okay when they say those things when they tell me about the the organization and the decluttering in the home when they tell me that bedtime has become peaceful and suddenly there's no Tantrums at bedtime when they tell me that their marriage has improved because

45:13 suddenly their home is so much easier to run and they're fighting less about chores when they tell me that their 11-year-old can cook a meal for himself and he feels so proud of himself when they tell me these stories and they tell me these stories every day that's when I see the proof that's when I think okay this is a proven method I can absolutely stand by that okay it sounds amazing but I have a lot

45:35 on my plate right now can I join later okay so I get it we're all busy and I do want to kind of just reiterate if you feel like you have so much on your plate if you feel like life is chaotic right now that is more of a reason to join now and not later so that I can help you establish a sense of control okay when life is really busy when it feels chaotic when everything's out of control

46:02 when you have too much on your plate that's exactly the time that's exactly the time to say okay I need structure I need lists and guidance and coaching and mindsets to keep me afloat okay and so if you're feeling like you have a lot on your plate right now can you join later of course I mean you can join in a year but a year in a child's life is a very long time and a year of establishing

46:31 habits is an opportunity to create real amazing change in your life right I mean when I look at my student Galina and what she accomplished in a year Galina got fit okay she had not been consistently doing workouts um ever since before she had kids but she got fit inside of the studio because suddenly she had the consistency the coaching the accountability right she created regular family meals with with extended family reconnecting her with her roots with her spirituality with her

47:01 cousins and grandparents which is absolutely incredible she decluttered her children's bedroom and established much better sleep hygiene because sleep was a big you know pain point in their home but now they have sleep full nights and do you know what that does to a family do you know how much better kids behave when they sleep well at night do you know how much better we behave as parents when we sleep all at night I mean these were huge results so and

47:25 there were there were several more I don't want to go on and on about it you can read all about it at ham.com thestudio um and so I would recommend not waiting if you have a bit of a song in your heart if you feel like wow this speaks to me I'm curious I just want to try it out try it out you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying it out if you've been pinning and

47:48 scrolling and comparing on Instagram and blogs and Vlogs and you know if you or if you're just in your own head feeling like am I failing am I getting this right am I missing something then the studio is for you and you should join and one of the things we hear from our students more often than anything is they tell us I've erased all my other apps I'm not on social media anymore I'm free because I have everything I need

48:14 right here and it's true you'll have everything that you need right there so my friends this is your last invitation here to join the studio go to ham.com Studio I can't cannot wait to invite you in I cannot wait to see what you create rather than consume I cannot wait to see you feeling confident as the captain of your ship and doing it with the drama but creating those remarkable family habits that create a meaningful family

48:45 life I will see you on the inside much much love