How to set boundaries around certain TV shows & apps? Q&A with Dr. J

0:00 if you think that they're ready for this type of conversation you can also just help them think more generally that when we consume media it's important to make sure that the media that we're consuming you know the characters set a good example and they make good choices because you know it all impacts us to some extent or [Music] another okay so your child has been watching watching a certain show or a

0:32 movie or maybe playing on a certain app and you realize over time that you don't really want them to be on it like what do you do because you know setting this boundary changing this rule is going to be very upsetting for them but you also know you need to make a change so in this episode I'm going to share an exact script that you can use when you've decided we need to stop so I'll share

0:56 how to kind of break this down with your little one in a way that is understanding and compassionate but also clear and firm so that we can you know effectively monitor their screen time and make sure that they continue to be exposed to Quality media all right so let's discuss hi hello welcome or welcome back to my channel I am Dr Jasmine I am a mom of three and a clinical psychologist and in this series Q&A with Dr J I am sharing some really

1:26 good questions that I've already answered inside of my private parent coaching community that I think are really relatable and that we need to talk about in this channel so if you're looking for more support more parenting resources and coaching by me definitely check out my membership you can go to the mom psychology.com SL membership again that's the mom psychologist. comom slm mersh for all of the details okay let's get into this mom's question any advice on how to set

1:58 boundaries with watching specific TV shows I started letting my son watch a certain show on YouTube and I really don't like it but he loves it I have said we don't watch it anymore but he asks why over and over again and he gets really upset I offer other options but I'm not sure how to explain to him why we can't watch it anymore so then I asked you know more questions about the TV show and this mom says you know I

2:26 don't like how this certain character acts in the episode he doesn't set a good example for behavior and he doesn't teach anything worthwhile and she goes on and shares more about what her concerns are and so I'm not going to mention the specific show that she is referring to but I love this mom's question because it is a really good sign if we are critically thinking about the media that our child is exposed to and I think all of us are going to come

2:55 to a point at some point or another where we realize that the certain certain app or maybe it's a show or a movie it's just not a really good influence on our child and we just start to become uncomfortable with it like I think that's a really good sign that shows that we are critically thinking about the media that we expose our child to and so what this mom's question boils down to is she's having a hard time

3:19 basically explaining this change to her child she started to set a boundary but they're very upset about it and she gets the sense they're not really understanding why she set this boundary and so what I ultimately recommended to this mom and what I recommend in general is to be very upfront and honest about why you're making that decision now you don't need to go into a long explanation you can keep it very simple and succinct you can basically just say something as

3:47 simple as you know after watching this certain show or playing this certain app I realized that this main character doesn't really set a good example he doesn't really make a lot of good choices and then you want to give one or two examples to just help them realize what you're saying and then you want to transition to I know this is super disappointing I know that you love watching this show it's fun you have a lot of enjoyment from it so let's work

4:14 as a team to find another show that is really fun and engaging would you like to do that now and kind of just transition them away from that but that's how you kind of just explain it and just explain it matter of factly I don't think that this character makes very good choices and then if you think that they're ready for this type of conversation you can also just help them think more generally that when we

4:37 consume media it's important to make sure that the media that we're consuming you know the characters set a good example and they make good choices because you know it all impacts us to some extent or another and this is just your gentle reminder that we are the adults in the situation we are the leaders and it's a good sign if we're thinking critically about the media that our children is exposed to we are allowed to change our minds and the

5:02 minute we don't feel comfortable with our child watching or playing a certain game listen to that feeling and take action and also on the flip side it's okay if our child is disappointed by this change it's okay if they vent their feelings to us it is okay as long as we're confident in our decision we know why we're making the decision that we're making and that we try our best in an age appropriate way to help our child

5:27 understand that decision and make other choices and kind of assist them in finding other options that they enjoy I think we've done our job I think we've done more than enough now again if you're looking for more parent support and Community definitely check out my private parent coaching Community you can go to the mom psychology.com membership for all of the details and let me know if you're tuning in on YouTube let me know if you've ever come

5:53 across a situation where your child is watching a certain show or a movie or playing a game or an app and you're like ooh I don't really like this anymore let me know if you've ever encountered that situation or what you have said to your child that's really helped them understand the change and that is it for this episode I'll see you in the next one bye [Music]