Transcript
0:00 I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside. I think it's just worth like establishing, right? Like our kids' job really is exploration, right? They explore a lot, right? That's why they put everything in their mouth when they're, you know, one and two, because. That's the way they can really learn about objects. That's why they crawl all over the place and walk and kind of find things in drawers that they're not supposed to find, but do anyway.
0:26 And that's why they like to move. Like that's why they like playgrounds, right? That's why they like to climb on things. That's why they like to touch things. That's why they hopefully do see things and the rest are like, oh, what's that? What's that? What's that? Right? They're learning about the world, which is really, really not so conducive with sitting. in one place, not wiggling your body. and just staying there. And so I often do think every time we take our kids to some dinner where they have to sit there or some show where they're supposed to like sit, you know, in the seat and just watch one thing it, you know, it really is at odds with what they're developmentally accomplishing.
1:07 In the other parts of their day, which is learning by doing and learning by touching and learning, by exploring. So just for everyone listening to this is thinking like, yeah, it's a disaster. When I go out to dinner with my young kids, there's something really de shaming about realizing, okay, well that's because my kid's job is to move around and explore, and sitting at dinner is the opposite of that, right? So right off the bat, let, let's just say that.
1:32 Then another thing, And I know you probably know this, but I think for me, Then another thing, And I know you probably know this, but I think for me, when I've taken my kids out to dinner, I've underestimated how much I needed to like prepare them for like what the situation would demand of them. Cause like I'm like, yeah, we're just gonna go grab dinner, right? And. You know, the times that I have paused and been like, Ooh, what happens at a restaurant when you want food?
1:55 Is it like, oh, I want grilled cheese and here's my grilled cheese. Is it like, oh, I want, you know, this chicken, here it is. And, and just to have my kids say, no, it's not like that. Oh, you have to wait. It's so annoying. Like, whenever I've even done that in the car ride with them, or, and this was, this was one of my best moves. Ooh, what if the chicken fingers aren't like, the chicken fingers we make in our house and just like starting that circuit right, is something I, you know, I wouldn't do with my, with my husband.
2:26 You know, like we've all kind of adapted to restaurants and, and I often do forget to do with my kid, and then they're sitting and they're like, why is my food not here? They're like, Ugh, I don't like this type of, you know, pasta. You know, I thought it was gonna look like the one at home, and sometimes I forget. like they just don't have as much world knowledge as I do, and nobody likes to be surprised, right?
2:49 By things that aren't going the way they expect. And so sometimes I reflect after like, oh, I, I probably could do more to like set them up not for success. So that woman doesn't judge you, but just for success in terms of understanding what's about to happen.
Summary
- Children's primary role is exploration, which involves movement and sensory experiences.
- Sitting still in restaurants contradicts their developmental need to explore and learn.
- Parents often underestimate the need to prepare children for new situations, like dining out.
- Discussing restaurant expectations with kids can help them understand the process (e.g., waiting for food).
- Children may have different expectations about food than adults, leading to disappointment.
- Preparing kids for experiences can lead to better outcomes and less judgment from others.
- Understanding children's developmental needs can alleviate parental stress during outings.