Out Of Pocket Security Guard

0:00 And you put the right equipment on Tammy, she'd have to kick the [ __ ] out of your classroom. >> [laughter] [cheering] >> Like high up in a finance company? >> Mhm. >> Oh, probably is you know. Who is that? >> [laughter] >> Was that him? That was the BLACKEST WOMAN I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. >> [laughter] >> You heard it, right? >> I heard it. >> You heard IT. THANK YOU. >> [cheering] >> GIVE ME THE NAME AGAIN.

0:23 >> TAMMY. >> HEY, I love Tammy, dude. I >> [laughter] >> You're lucky I'm married, Tammy. You're lucky I'm married. >> Bring her to we could BE A COUPLE. >> [laughter] [cheering] >> I WANT TO KNOW MY WIFE, but I would prefer chocolate to vanilla, for sure. >> I hope we both wake up with a chocolate on our pillow. >> [laughter] >> I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. >> BUT >> MY DICK MOVED. NO, I'm kidding.

0:49 Sorry, what was your name again? With whom did you come? >> [cheering] >> Did you hear the last call? >> No, I didn't. Is this your son? >> He's my daughter's best friend. >> Sounds weird, to be honest. IS SHE STILL FRIENDS WITH YOU? >> THEY'RE NOT. >> OH, [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> ARE YOU [ __ ] YOUR DAUGHTER'S EX-BEST FRIEND? WHOA. >> [cheering] [applause] >> WHOA. WHY DID you guys break up?

1:19 >> We dated. >> We're friends. >> Oh, you're friend ex-best friend. May I ask your sexual preference? >> Yeah. >> Oh, that's why you said that, bro. Whoa. Hey. Hey, look how Hey, hey, look how disappointed these brothers are. They're not even disappointed cuz they're homophobic. They want you to [ __ ] this lady. This creeps. Are you into like very masculine energy? Cuz if so, I got somebody for you. Tammy. >> [cheering] >> Tammy, have you [ __ ] this guy, right?

1:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah, >> He got a real pretty got a >> He got a real pretty mouth. >> [laughter]