This talk maybe uncomfortable for you!

0:01 hello everyone welcome to book club number 37. this is number 37 of this book a radical awakening this is my reader's copy fully dog-eared we're talking about a radical awakening and what goes in it how many of you here are reading the book as we speak i'm on book club number 37. hi everyone good to see you all

0:31 come on in [Music] hi everyone so we're going to talk about courage today what does courage mean what does it mean to live a courageous life gabby you're reading the book what page are you on did you just start come on in guys book club number 37

1:02 we're going to talk about courage you read it already indie sam forever you read it back in may it's a fantastic book listening to it on audible i'm reading your bible litiana it's very confronting delrin says why is it so confronting what is the confronting part listening to audio and reading cheryl you finished it halfway through can't wait to start

1:33 deconstructing patterns i'm keeping the ego at bay you bought two books she's she seashells ninja finished it today i love it i'm happy you're reading it so why is it confrontive courage to me is acknowledging the need to work on myself after everything that has happened in my past i love it what is courage to you write me your definition of courage a

2:05 reaper has listened to it a few times already confronting so many ingrained limiting beliefs so do you believe in marriage anymore arna asks bought three give giving them away as my gifts so whenever people ask me if i believe in this so i believe in that i say the point is not to believe i'm trying to not believe because when you believe

2:35 just by nature of believing it's a it's an option so i don't like to believe in options i just like to know what it is uh marriage is an institution i talk about it in the book there's nothing to believe or not to believe you choose it or you don't choose it and when you choose it you should choose it to uh to your greatest self-evolution you should choose it understanding what you're choosing so i don't believe in it or not believe

3:07 in it i choose not to believe um courage is being fearful and pushing through anyway beautiful did i get married again no i did not do you believe in jesus christ i choose not to believe in anything or anyone except in the is-ness of the is-ness the buddha said that nirvana is the extinction of beliefs when you when you live according to

3:38 nature you don't have to believe you just live in the is-ness of nature beliefs are constructions of mankind in ideology in self-imposed beliefs in good or bad in duality in limitations when you live according to the is-ness there is no need to believe or at least you know that your beliefs are just beliefs so where can i get that buddha portrait

4:08 behind you i don't remember where i got it but it was online look for buddha portraits you may find it truth is my only savior that's what i believe in now right so when you when you are in truth there's nothing to believe belief comes because you you need to hold on to something that is not in the is-ness right do you believe that the sun comes up every day or that you see the sun every day or that the sun is a source of

4:36 heat and light you don't have to believe it it just is what it is so what you're doing for women is a blessing to all women wonderful jake huesta just bought the book i love it okay let's talk about courage what does it mean to live a courageous life so i've posted this on instagram lately i have several videos go watch them so courage yes olivia is remembering who you are and staying connected to self

5:07 so many of us believe we are we are living courageously many of us believe believe right again the word believe but we aren't because if you're truly living a courageous life first you will do no harm to others you will do no harm to others why do i say that because to live a courageous life means to live a truly authentic life

5:38 to live an authentic life means to live knowing your ego not getting rid of your ego because you never entirely can it means to live understanding befriending your ego when you understand your ego you don't inflict it roughshod on others and when you don't inflict your ego on others you do no harm so there are many i have met and many

6:10 you have met that believe that they are authentic and courageous if you do harm to others it is your ego if it's your ego you're not authentic if you're not authentic you're not living a courageous life to live a courageous life is to have 1 000 accountability accountability for what accountability for your egoic patterns which means

6:42 you have to know yourself very deeply intimately not through hatred not through loathing not through resentment not through anger not through disappointment not through shame not through guilt that means you have to radically enter an honest transparent and truly self-honoring

7:14 life where you honor the ego you honor your rage you honor your lack you honor which means just by honoring you've integrated because you see it all it's not to not have nobody can not have okay the buddha sat under a tree for i don't know how long do not have you and i are not sitting under any tree anytime soon so we're going to have so it's not about

7:46 not having it's about integration what is the ego trying to tell me what is the ego trying to protect what is the lack that i have that i haven't healed knowing yourself and evolving is a mastery beautiful of course life happens now she writes i'm not their hundred thousand percent yet i'm doing great but i have to work on breaking my ego daily i guess progress is better than doing nothing progress is all there is there is nothing better

8:16 than process than progress there is nothing better than the process and process is progress finish end of the situation the dialogue the conversation you're in it now you're in it now you're in it now you're in it now so when we are not fully self acknowledging self honoring self accepting all parts so on page 311 i write integrating all our broken

8:48 pieces this is from a radical awakening my tacky reader's copy page 311 integrating all our broken pieces having compassion for ourselves means accepting all the parts of ourselves yes the good the bad the ugly we even need to have compassion for the part of us that cannot have compassion for ourselves we must observe all our parts as a loving mother might observe her little children considering each of them worthy of acceptance

9:18 she doesn't just pick the tall ones or the pretty ones she finds something endearing about all her children because she understands how they came to be in the same way we too can challenge ourselves to see all parts of ourselves as worthy of understanding we have the part of us that is imperfect and the part of us that doesn't like our imperfection we have to accept both compassion for all sides of ourselves we have the self-critical side of us that

9:49 we need we think needs to be killed off and buried and indeed she may need this but the only way to do this is to first have compassion for the self-critical side of us when we show this part understanding and care it diminishes this is the point of compassion to understand all our parts even the parts that aren't compassionate and caring if we are jealous of our friend for example and we feel guilty about it we have two parts of ourselves that need

10:20 our compassion the jealous side and the side that reacts to this jealousy do you see what i mean sometimes we may have three or four sides to ourselves all demanding our understanding simply cutting off parts of ourselves is not the answer it will only further exacerbate our self-loathing only when we understand and integrate all parts of ourselves do we enter a state of equanimity this is especially true of our anxiety and anger the more we denigrate the parts of

10:51 ourselves that are prone to either the more they grow the only way to become less of anything is to first accept its presence the more we resist anything the more it grows so acceptance is like magic entering wholeness means something different from self-esteem or self-affirmation true self-compassion is not interested in high self-esteem or thinking highly of yourself it has

11:22 nothing to do with feeling good about ourselves and everything to do with simply accepting ourselves the goal of self-compassion isn't to be more joyful or more of anything it's simply to be one thing only self-accepting we don't need to see ourselves as better than or worse than there is zero judgment or comparison we should just see ourselves as we are and allow ourselves to be even if we are judgmental we must see ourselves this part of

11:50 ourselves with compassion so here's the thing we haven't learned to have radical accountability yes so because we don't have radical accountability moment by moment we have fooled ourselves to believe that we are entitled in some way entitled to what entitled to whatever our belief system says we are entitled to i'm entitled to that person loving me forever i'm entitled to that person giving me more money i'm entitled

12:21 so if they don't give it i take it and when i can't take it i load them for it most couples that go wrong astray talk about this right they they enter this place of entitlement oh you're not my way i kill you in my head you'd no longer exist for me i had a friend who told me that i don't exist for her anymore why because i chose to disagree with her i chose not to go along with her

12:48 story okay i kill you off how ridiculous what she's saying is that she cannot accept all parts sorry my hair is like annoying me she cannot accept all parts of herself so she cannot allow anybody else to not understand her completely because she doesn't understand herself completely so because she doesn't understand herself completely when i don't understand her she's like i cut you i cancel you right so people

13:19 do this all the time only because they themselves cannot fully integrate and accept themselves so it's not our role actually to be honest when i was being honest with this person i was just telling them what they had what they were putting out in the world to me but they could not accept it no problem i don't have to be resentful now i don't have to be understanding i need to understand okay i get it because i understand

13:49 myself when you understand yourself and you see your own versions of your own panic and fear and anxiety manifesting itself in all sorts of ways you can understand other people's panic and fear coming out in their ways now it doesn't mean that you have to accept abuse it doesn't mean you stick around when someone is betraying you when someone is stealing from you when someone is degrading you you walk away

14:19 but you understand that they are out of alignment not because of you right so as you begin to clean up your own inner space you you don't take on the of others and you don't do harm through your ego you really begin to become a healing presence in the world because you are healing toward your own many inner children and because you are healing and accepting of your own inner children you understand when someone else around

14:51 you cannot take it for their inner children they're so cruel to their inner children that they project on you whatever they're projecting on you is how they feel about their own inner children so this person who was canceling me was actually cancelled in her own life and was canceling herself so because she cancels herself she cancels me and that's what happens to many of us but we do it too we do it to others too oh you don't

15:23 believe in jesus christ i cancel you you don't believe in in uh heterosexuality and you're homosexual i cancelled you you know we're canceling everybody and even the new age liberals you know cancel the old conservatives because they don't accept that liberal no don't cancel the conservative if the conservative doesn't understand your liberalness because then you are doing the same thing the conservative is doing to you if the liberal cancers are conservative

15:53 how is it different than the conservative cancelling the liberal so true liberalism my dear friends has nothing to do with he he she they them or whether you're gay or you're not or you wet you know all the colors of the rainbow that's not true liberalism true liberal liberalism is your own internal freedom to be yourself if you are truly liberal with your own inner self you don't need endorsement from the external world liberal or conservative

16:26 and because you are integrated within yourself you're not looking for the conservative to cancel you so that you can cancel them that's not how change occurs mother teresa said no i will not go for an anti-war rally she's like i'm not anti-anything but take me to a pro-peace i'll go so whenever you resist another however wrong they are you are doing the same thing they're doing to you

16:56 and that's why mahatma gandhi in in his non-violence said non-violence because when the british were ruling india the way he had to fight it but not fight against it he had to fight the systemic injustice of it so there was no person to fight there was therefore he told the indians no violence because we're not fighting a person we're fighting ideal ideological rigidity and ideological conservatism

17:27 and ideological warfare an ideological warfare it cannot be fought by weaponry it must be fought by morality by righteousness by by energy and that's what mahatma gandhi did and that is the radical way to create change now it's very hard because you're standing there and you're getting beaten if you watch the movie gandhi you will see go watch the movie gandhi and see how they took a beating because they understood that if they beat back it was just going to be

17:59 senseless warfare so so it is with us the reason why we project warfare onto the other is because we are grossly dislocated within our own being so when you ask me do i believe in jesus christ or do i believe in marriage or do i believe in gay or straight i will not answer you i will try not to answer i will not answer it because ideology is the is the cause of warfare when you

18:31 suspend beliefs you are the greatest liberal so liberalism is freedom from beliefs not i believe in liberal views that's still a liberal view liberalism is to be free of the view when you're free of the view you can be in essence and you do not look at the other as ah are they are they are they coming toward my liberal side if you have a side you're not liberal

19:01 anymore because liberalism includes the whole thing you understand this is radical politics it is beyond duality that is true wisdom when you go okay what am i fighting i'm right i'm right i'm right and i'm killing the ones who are wrong i'm full of gandhi understood this martin luther king understood this mother teresa understood this that's why in our lifetime nelson mandela

19:32 understood this that's why in our lifetime we can only have five icons who truly understand and lived the politics of detachment they didn't they didn't just believe in it so whenever somebody asks you do you believe in something and you go yes i do you're not truly a liberal liberalism is the liberation from the clutches on your mind through ideological beliefs so my goal in my life is to get rid of

20:03 my ideological beliefs whether to this or to that to money to fame to popularity to to any idea and the only place you end up after you let go of your ideological attachments is liberation so true liberal understands there is no side there is no other there is nothing to fight against true liberalism is the extinction of ideological chaos

20:34 i should i'm entitled how dare they which side are you on do you believe what i believe in that is not liberalism that is conservatism so if you really want to be radical and you really want to cut the that's happening in this world stop being part of it and part of the way to stop being part of it is to understand your own conservatism and how do you begin to understand your own conservatism as you begin to see it in

21:00 your own psyche oh i only like my this part i don't like my that part you know i only like my eyes i don't like my smile i only like my smile don't like my boobs that is such conservatism or even saying i don't like conservatives conservative people now i have been i have been um prey to loading

21:30 certain conservatives myself in the recent past of our american democracy so what to do i did it i loathe but i tried i tried to understand the ego but i failed i hated i cancelled i loathe now what to do now i don't have to deal with it because the person is not in power anymore but i'm just joking yeah i'm just saying that i'm talking but i have also

22:01 loathed i'm always ready and quick to say when i go into the gutter of my own loathing i cannot accept i could not accept so not in this lifetime yes that i accepted that i had to enter loathing so i tried to load lovingly that's the best i could do i could i couldn't do better than that so you can only do what you can do you know but at least understand what is the problem mahatma gandhi didn't act like the

22:31 british imperialist rule was not in his country he didn't act like oh there's nothing going on here no he used his mouth he used his talk he used his his energy and he used his power so i fooled myself to think that's what i did with our last president when i spoke out a bit too much but anyway this is not about me this is about ending the hatred within true liberation

23:03 is ending the hatred within true liberation is understanding the duality that exists in our minds how do you load lovingly you load lovingly when you know that your loathing is coming from your ego and your fear so you know i'm just joking i didn't really loathe a lot but i knew my loathing was coming from my own panic attacks my own scarcity i was not wise

23:33 enough to rise above so that's loathing lovingly where and when you do no harm in terms of physical violence you just try to end the ignorance that is around that person so gandhi did not say oh british british british comes walk all over me no no he stood up and told them you're wrong you cannot take away the rights of my people you cannot have injustice you cannot have physical domination but he had no violence against them and

24:03 he went to prison i don't know 13 times okay waiting for them to peacefully leave and ultimately finally the indian people got enough inner sovereignty that the british could not control them anymore but it took 20 30 years so this is about when you have an ideological difference in someone check your own ego and then choose the righteous action the bestest action that is available to you through

24:34 discernment through love through understanding that your ego is activated because their ego is activated now how do i rise above so understand it's not about the president or about the person about the british or about the white person or the black man it's about the ideological ignorance that exists represented by that person but you cannot fight ideological ignorance if you yourself are ignorant

25:06 so check yourself first and part of that checking toward a better culture is about self-integration is about inner wholeness is about receiving your own self reflection for yourself your own validation for yourself when you do that you disintegrate rigid archetypal belief systems and you enter the oneness of all humanity you

25:37 enter a oneness consciousness because you've disintegrated the separation within yourself when you dis disintegrated the separation within yourself you don't have separation with the other you just see others as representations of their own ideological rigidity and ignorance there is no person you hate anymore so the people in my life i don't hate them at all who've hurt me i fight the ideological ignorance that caused them to act in that way and how do you stand up to ideological

26:08 ignorance you can stay you can accept you can leave but you understand that you're not fighting the human you're fighting the ideological ignorance so ideological ignorance comes from attachment of belief systems so if you yourself are attached to belief systems that they should not treat me this way you are no different than them so true liberation is to understand it is the extinction of all conservative separation within yourself it is the extinction of all rigid superiority

26:38 within yourself it is democracy within yourself which means all your parts are fully accepted all your parts are democratically uh allowed to have sovereign entity there is no hierarchy of oh i like this part i don't like that part so until we disintegrate the separation that lies within us which means we stop loathing parts of ourselves which means we enter radical honest

27:09 accountable self wholeness and acceptance we will not heal the other when they are in their ideological rigidity and ignorance and therefore we will cause warfare and therefore it'll be ego to ego to ego to ego to ego and that is what this dimension is about so true liberation is the liberation from ideological attachments so don't ask me if i believe in anything i'm trying very hard not to believe and to accept the is-ness of the is-ness

27:36 of the is-ness that's it so true acceptance of the self is the pathway forward to world peace okay so you can go ahead and have the un and have the cdc and have the whatever else they have you know the hague and the the davos world conference doesn't matter doesn't matter if you haven't healed your inner wholeness the broken parts within you

28:07 you will keep projecting it onto the other you will do harm you can only do no harm when you have your own ego under full awareness and acceptance you cannot do harm so really sit with yourself ask yourself do you truly accept who you are do you truly understand who you are

28:37 do you understand where your belief systems have come from most of your belief systems are completely completely constructed by other people's unconsciousness so these are hard truths but as long as you believe as long as you're rigid as long as you hold on to me is right and you are wrong and i'm a liberal you're a republican i'm a democrat i'm pretty you're not i'm smart you're not you're just completely about to engage

29:08 in warfare it just hasn't manifested yet because you're in warfare here you're in warfare there and as long as you're in warfare here there is coming when the conditions rise and the trigger comes warfare comes out so a world that doesn't focus on self inner growth and healing like our world does not will be a world of unremitting warfare as it is

29:40 so all that we're doing out there in terms of progress is an exercise in not only futility but an utter destruction i'm watching destruction about to come more destruction coming and we keep doing things from the ego and we don't heal the inner self what are we doing so without getting frustrated at what is out there i choose to simply

30:12 go inward and do my work because at least i can do that so we can always do that so if you're upset at the ex-husband or the ex-friend or the ex-boss stop stop stop wasting your time turn inward what do i need to learn how do i need to grow how do i need to heal how did i co-create this and i talk about all this yes yogi zen get the book in a radical awakening

30:45 so go grab it guys thank you for listening i know this turned into a really heavy talk i don't know what happened to me i guess i'm just in that mood so i'll end before i go on and on but it's really about just you know healing the parts of yourself the reason our earth cries and our children suffer and we suffer is because we live with utter separation and division within ourselves within ourselves because we've been told

31:18 we have to believe in certain things and when those beliefs don't come true we have an issue with ourselves if you don't believe you don't have an issue you understand that's just it simple rule of life but no one wants to give up their belief systems they think that their belief system gives them comfort your beliefs belief systems give you suffering so anyway i talk about the belief systems that you need to eliminate if you are a woman

31:43 here in a radical awakening okay guys thank you for joining me i will see you when i see you bye guys