Transcript
0:00 I used to be so naive I used to be full of beliefs about how things should be my early years of the parent was full of sugar how to's and listens and tasks I was a psychologist For Heaven's Sake I was meditating for 20 years and anyone was going to be able to experiment it was going to be me and I was fixated with grandiose ideals highbrow fantasies of how my child would turn out I was
0:28 going to have the only female Dalai lava let's do that I would have a child who in Disney World would stop me and say Mom to such an incredulous superficial waste of time can't we be doing something more uplifting up leveling our engagement
0:58 should we be in the living room looking at art teaching in nature so the first three years of my life as a parent was spent fighting the reality that my fantasy was not going to come true and I fought and I fought and I raged and I read more books but the books say if I just said it like this and if you're naughty chair a naughty stool a naughty corner it's just pretty enough and comfortable enough or severe enough
1:28 who knows every book says it differently maybe then that child would emerge and then I would feel whole and complete as a parent and I read and I fired myself up and I became more pompous and arrogant and where was the Bliss That was supposed to be as a parent where were those lovely lullaby spilled hours of of seamless energetic symbiosis wasn't happening the babysitter was in the bathroom for two minutes too long and I'm like come out now
2:00 and every book that I've been reading on parenting has been completely fear in disguise they have pretended that there was a solution to this thing called raising children and money has been made in the millions out of the feeding of our fear there is no control and the greatest Awakening you can have is through your child because it is only the child that you seek to control the most that will refuse to bend under your
2:32 will your children come here not so that you can produce and create them into your greatest fantasy they come here to show you one fundamental truth indestructible truth about the universe that you have only control over your selfhood [Music]
Summary
- Early parenting was filled with high expectations and fantasies about child development.
- The speaker, a psychologist, sought perfection in parenting through various methods and books.
- Reality clashed with ideals, leading to frustration and disillusionment.
- Many parenting resources propagate fear and false promises of control.
- The speaker realizes that children are not meant to fulfill parental fantasies but to teach fundamental truths about self-control.
- The greatest awakening in parenting comes from accepting the lack of control over children.
- True fulfillment in parenting lies in self-discovery rather than external validation.