Let's Change The Way We See Parenting

0:00 there isn't a single parent I know who doesn't struggle being a parent I'm a parent myself and let me tell you I spent years of my early motherhood truly believing I was failing at this I really thought I was a bad parent and it's only when I began to understand why I had those feelings that I began to realize the reason I thought I was bad is because I believed I needed to create a certain kind of superstar child you know

0:33 I had this idea from how I was raised and I believe many of us women are conditioned with this idea that we need to create a genius child then we need to produce this absolute trophy baby who's going to grow up to save the world and it's because of that pressure that we have as women especially and as parents that we begin to contour our children to fit that expectation so that we can feel good as parents so that we can feel

1:03 worthwhile as human beings and this is a completely toxic idea a belief system that needs to be put to its end right away because it's creating a deep anxiety in us parents that we then pass on to our children because we feel like we need to be amazing because we feel worthless as human beings we then push our children to give us a sense of worth we push them to achieve and to look a certain way and to present a certain way

1:34 to the world so that we feel we are getting an A grade but this entire belief system needs to be done away with we need to reimagine this journey of parenting we need to understand that we are neither good nor bad such labels shouldn't be put on ourselves as human beings certainly not on ourselves as parents so that we don't put these labels onto our children parenthood is not a destination it's not this idea of perfection parenthood is a

2:06 journey it's a journey that we take with our children that are here to be our teachers that are here to Mirror to us how we can both grow together so we need to understand that every parent is going to screw up in certain ways but that's not the point the point is not the mistakes the point is not the failure the point is the growth the point is the learning so let's look at our parenting in a different way let's look at our

2:37 children in a different way let's not focus on the externals but let's focus on the connection let's focus on the relationship and mostly let's ask ourselves as parents how can we use this relationship to grow so if this helps you as a parent in some way then share it with other parents because all of us parents are burdened by this idea that we need to be good that we need to be perfect and we never really