Transcript
0:00 and how the motivation to change comes in the quality of a relationship and I was going to really commit to being more present and connected with my husband so I got my first opportunity later that afternoon it was I just gotten home from school and I went upstairs to my computer to work on some lesson plans and I'd probably been there for about maybe about about 10 15
0:30 minutes all of a sudden I hear my husband um at my office door and he just kind of looked at me and I was in a swivel chair and I turned and I looked at him and I gave him a smile and I said what's up now he was incredibly surprised and flabbergasted and his eyes got huge because usually when he comes to the door I keep on working
1:00 and I'm looking at the computer screen and rarely looking at him so he said to me what's wrong and I said nothing's wrong you're more important to me than this computer and he said since when and I said since right now starting right now starting today I am going to be committed to being more present when you want to have a conversation and he kind of laughs and he's like okay and so I said so what's up and he
1:32 saidwell I just got a call and I'm going to referee for a soccer game tonight so I'm not going to be able to be home for dinner I said okay no problem I'll just make sure that I whatever I make you can heat up when you get home and he said okay and I said so how's work going and he said it's okay kind of a busy day we had this one issue and he goes on to
1:57 tell me about the issue and then I told told him a funny story that um happened at school that day and so we kind of shared a a few seconds of laughter and then he said okay well I'm going to go back to work and I said okay and he turns around and he leaves and then his head pops back into the doorway and he looked at me and he said you know I don't know what just happened
2:25 but I know that I really liked it and I said me too and in that moment I knew that my commitment to me more present had had an impact you see in conscious discipline what we learn is that there are four essential ingredients if you will uh that really help to solidify and enhance any kind of relationship or connection if you will and those are the four components of eye contact of touch of
2:59 Pres presence and of playfulness so I started thinking when I knew that I had to start changing and really working on my relationship with my husband let's start with presence but let's also start with eye contact emotional touch in a playful situation so let's think back to the story I just told you taking my chair and physically turning so I had eye to eye contact with my husband was incredibly power ful for him
3:31 clearly I could see that through his body language and um through his response later on because I was present and because he knew that he had my attention 100% he was emotionally touched and he continued on was sharing even more information about his day and then I shared information about a funny story at school so it turned into a playful situation all of that was solidified as he peaked
4:03 back through the door jam and said I don't know what just happened to here but I really really liked it so it was one of those powerful moments
Summary
- The speaker decides to prioritize her relationship by being more present with her husband.
- A simple interaction at her office door leads to a deeper connection.
- She emphasizes the importance of eye contact, emotional touch, presence, and playfulness in relationships.
- The husband's surprised reaction indicates the positive impact of her commitment.
- Their conversation includes sharing personal stories, fostering laughter and connection.
- The moment reinforces the idea that small changes can lead to significant improvements in relationships.