The Difference Between Consequences & Punishments

0:00 So what that is is there's a difference between punishments and consequences. Remember this skill is not called uh number seven punishments. It's called number seven the power of intention and consequences. So, we talked about times we made mistakes and I've had all those and I've done them over and over again and then I've actually done some things and I've actually changed. Has anybody actually had a consequence and go, okay, I need to take back and look at that. I need to maybe adjust some things. Anybody done that? Okay. So the difference between uh consequences that are effective and actually have you learn from mistakes and the consequence that you repeat over and over again is when you beat yourself up when you use punishment instead of consequences. So punishment have the goal of you to feel bad about what you've done.

1:11 Okay? So if the goal is for you to feel bad about what you've done, the goal is for to push you down into the lower centers of your brain. Get down there and feel horrible about yourself. Feel bad and get down here into the lower centers of your brain. And now change in the lower centers of your brain is where you're making fast reactive things you don't even know you did to after you've done them. Change is up there and here you stand and you're like, well, I don't know how I'm going to do that.

1:45 consequences say the goal of them is to have you reflect on the impact and choose to change if you want punishment feel bad consequences. Be conscious of the impact of that on you and others. You see the difference? And as long as we confuse those terms and when kids make a mistake, we want to punish them, they're going to be down here in a mental model, repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating. If we want them to learn from their consequences, we've got to get them up here so they can reflect on that consequence on what it was on me and others either in my family or my school or my community. Everybody see the difference?

2:40 And that's important because you have to do that power of choice in the middle here. Do you want them to learn from their mistakes or feel bad for making them? And that's what you that's the question you're saying. Do I want you right now just to feel like a worm of the earth or do I want you actually to learn something from this and possibly change? That's your choice. And neither of them are bad or good. It's just different outcomes. Does everybody understand that? I haven't all the stuff I've said this time there. I haven't said and this is the best way to do it.

3:12 It's just be aware. Once we understand the brain, once we understand consciousness, it's just a different outcome. And what we've been doing is blindly getting the outcomes we don't want and wondering why life is better for others. and its choices.