Day 17 Viral Wisdom 4 26 2020

0:00 hello everyone it's my viral wisdom course day 17 I'm talking to two audiences the Facebook hi Facebook and my Instagram so say hello tell me where you're from how many days you've seen have you been checking in every day and if you for the Instagram crowd if you do want to go back and watch my other days they're all archived on YouTube and my facebook page

0:31 hi from England and Brampton Ontario and San Diego and Warsaw and Sweden that is so cool thank you for joining in hi everyone good morning so today I'd like to talk about our big feelings I know many of us have had big big big feelings I mean how can we not have big feelings correct

1:01 this is undeniably a trauma now a trauma doesn't have to be that you're at war broken limbs and you know head chopped off trauma trauma is when something apocalyptic cataclysmic happens in your life unbeknownst to you you feel it's out of your control you feel it's beyond your predictable power you feel it's out

1:31 of bounds out of sorts so most of us have been traumatized many times by life and by people by now and this is one more trauma so depending on your trauma load in your life on how many PTSD you've already been through so to speak this is going to feel different for some people versus others also the degree to which you experience this right if you have enough money in your bank if you really lost a physical loved one if you

2:03 are out of work so not only is this particular moment in time unique for each one of us although it is because although it is universal make no mistake it's hitting each person differently yes trauma is intersubjective life is inter subjective relationships are inter subjective there is no point of objectivity that you can say this is that and this is this everything is

2:36 fused and intertwine so depending on your past trauma this trauma is going to feel very different depending on how this trauma is hitting you it's going to feel different so what I would like to just talk about is how can we handle big feelings so the first thing to handle in handling big feelings is to know that you're having big feelings yes so typically we go from feeling to reaction right so we have a feeling and because

3:05 in childhood we were trained to not feel we were trained that big feelings are negative big feelings are to be shoed and shush in my culture if you cried you were told to eat yes so all of us grew up with an eating disorder so to speak right and then when I grew up and my mother used to still it still tells me today or tells my daughter oh you're feeling sad let's go eat and when I asked I said

3:32 please what is the connection between food and my feelings you have made them one but what is the connection how is it coming to your mind that I need to eat something she's like I don't know because I'm feeling anxious then I just want to shove everything down so that's what we do right when big feelings come because we've been trained to to look at them as bad by our parents we want something to shove it down we want to

3:58 numb it so food alcohol TV gossip right these are ways to shove them down we are told that they are scary so we want to avoid them at all costs but what if we were told that they're not scary then actually the only way through them is leaning into them so when a big feeling comes instead of squashing or reacting we enter them very hard to do trust me

4:31 but let's try okay let's just propose a new way and let's at least ideologically fantasize if we can try a new way it's very hard even for me to do this right when I feel big feeling first thing I do is open the fringe yes and then I find myself already with my mouth full and like how did I get here did I even check in if I was hungry I was like oh I was writing my book I felt a broad block

4:54 writer's block got anxiety before I know it in the fridge head is in the pizza right I'm like how did this even happen right so how do we break this chain of reaction or a kid does something brings up anxiety before we know it was screaming at them but two minutes ago we really loved them no really really we really love them right we had we had promised ourselves today we're going to love our children within five minutes

5:21 were yelling at them how well the how is it's not in the kid it's not in the pizza something happens within us that we feel too intolerable to uncontrolled with and it's too unmanageable and we pounce out and we go and we react yes so what if we did this differently so the first step to begin with big feelings is to be aware Oh the hardest thing in the world yes beware be aware so easy to say

5:53 and it sounds so easy none of us are aware let me tell you nobody is aware okay level 101 or spiritual training none of us have done it we can barely do it because to catch it is impossible because we've all been conditioned to react with condition to be reactors to open this mouth react okay so either shove something in or bring something out we must do something with our anxiety we don't know what it means to

6:23 sit with our anxiety now I have to take a pause because just naturally I promise you it's a segue into my book okay now really I did not plan it you may think I plan to stop to sell this book but I just it's the perfect moment so no really I wasn't planning to sell this book but believe me or not so my friend Vinnie Jane and I wrote this book for teenagers we didn't even write this book we were

6:48 asked to write this book by publishers who gets to be asked the publisher wrote to me and said would you please write a book on anxiety and so I turned to my best friend one of my best friends Winnie who is an expert in meditation and anxiety management for children and teenagers and adults and we wrote this book called super-powered because we know that anxiety is a great transformer but there's a way to work with anxiety

7:17 without squashing it so you can pre-order this book and help us okay no really it was just the perfect segue I had to do it so the reason we wrote this book is because we don't know how to lean into feelings the minute feelings come we want to escape so the first step is to be aware okay be aware that you're having a rumbling in your tummy be aware that your heart is palpitating be aware that you're sweating be aware

7:42 that you're clenching your jaw and your fist who is aware okay so this is it if we can stop in the moment to realize we are having big feelings and in this pandemic just know 75% of what we're feeling is big big big stuff 25% of us are coping we're coping oh we brushed our teeth we gardened we went on a walk we loved our children and didn't scream at them but

8:12 let me tell you underneath the 25 percent all of us are freaking out okay we are freaking out okay so can we just acknowledge I'm acknowledging my veneer of coping like I'm doing these talks and then I will go to a talk and do a wisdom talk it's my 25 percent adult copy 75 percent of me is freaking out and you're freaking out - don't lie you're freaking out you're freaking out you're freaking out the point of me pointing out are

8:40 infantilism it's not to put you down is to say yes we are all globally freaky let's not ignore it now 25% of us 25% of us within us on some particular days can cope sometimes we're coping and full 25% yeah sometimes we're coping at five percent okay but let's not fool it the bandwidth of coping is only 25 if we run out of that we're in deep right we're

9:10 halfway are going down here because this is a lot okay I'm freaking out but my 25% is healthy and I can manage it but if I if I if it goes down too much that's it I'm in freak out soon because this is big big big drama guys okay so you have to know and have compassion that we are PTSD and depending on your unique PTSD you may wonder why am i doing so badly why am I not being able to to teach and

9:42 smile and cope and lose weight why am I putting on weight all right it may be because your PTSD load is already reached its limit like by this pandemic you are already maxing out on a human's PTSD load okay or you're independent we can now you discover you have some kidney stone gallstone you know your kid is an alcoholic okay that's it you can't go up anymore so just have compassion right the first step is to be aware be

10:09 aware this is no joke what we're going through is no joke now after we're aware we then have to activate a choice we have to ask ourselves how do I want to cope with this PTSD that's going on how do I want to manage my big feelings on a day to day to day basis right every day you wake up it's Groundhog Day you're like really are we still in this this is the movie then change the movies are ending

10:36 like when is it ending and the hardest thing about this movie I don't know about you but the hardest thing for me is I seriously don't know who the villain is and who the good guy is I'm still trying to figure it out and I just want to figure it out I'm like is this virus really from the bat of the pendulum or whatever or is it from some Factory number one big question okay I have this question every day then

11:02 I have a big question about is 40 good OS watch it back is Gates good or it gets bad it's Trump mmm again I don't have a question about that just kidding so this is so this I'm recognizing that these are my my paranoia's so I'm trying to become aware what is my unique bent tilt angle on my PTSD like where am I getting stuck and for me I need to know good or bad and

11:32 then once you know where you're getting stuck so maybe you're getting stuck and we all are getting stuck in this one we all want to know what's going to happen next we all want to know how is this movie going to end well I can we can we please flip to the end of this movie can be fast-forward and we can't fast-forward you know even when I watch Como's Como's presentations I don't watch the whole thing I go I know

11:58 exactly when he talks about the number of deaths I go to that and then I go to the end is he smiling he's not smiling yet I'm like okay I'm gonna wait for tomorrow right so we're all in some way waiting for this movie to end you may want to know you know who the good guy or bad guy is like I do you may just want it to end you may be in denial that this if in a movie you may be in denial

12:19 that's even going on maybe you're like there's nothing going on what's going on what's the big deal each one of us is dealing with this PTSD in a unique way and the beauty of it is we get to see our load we get to see how much we can take we get to see our unique in your sink recedes right some of us are suckers for punishment every day we put on Trump every day we want to watch the

12:45 data right we're suckers we're like no this is my way of being in control I need to know minute by minute how many deaths how many hospitalizations I need to see the curve right so some people become obsessive like that some people deny some people just want to know the end some people you know so everybody has their own unique bent on the PTSD so what I'm asking you to do is find out go inside and become aware of your unique

13:12 how you dealing with this PTSD how are you handling it right are you handling it by fear-mongering are you handling it by denial are you having it by action what are you doing to manage your PTSD and this is the way to manage it well by becoming aware of it by naming it by claiming it by seeing it in the mirror not pretending oh I don't have PTSD if you don't have PTSD in some way you're

13:44 in denial this is some big going on okay this is big this is huge and it's okay to have big feelings it's okay to say you know what timeout I can't handle this right now I need to go rest I need to go and walk I need to eat I need help so in all my groups practically I have created support groups for people to get help this is a time we need help if you think you can do this alone you're

14:13 mistaken right that's why I'm here every day in whatever way I can offer help because I know people are floundering I know this is a lot for the psyche to handle so if your psyche is having a hard time understand it's because when PTSD and depending on your load you're cracking or bending or wilting more than someone else it's okay don't feel bad don't feel ashamed it's okay to lose your it's okay to do it in a healthy way yes but

14:45 the most important thing is to name it claim it declare it and then be vulnerable and ask for help be vulnerable you need help you need help right so in my other group I'm going to give you the website right now the link right now you can join this group I teach meditation there every day if you're in that group you can put hashtag help and one of my coaches from my coaching Institute will coach you for 30

15:14 minutes for free okay if we can if we can for the first 30 minutes for free not forever so the website link is facebook.com forward slash oops forward-slash get super powered get super powered right the group was created to help people transform their anxiety so if you join this group you don't have to buy the book but you will get help my point is that we need to recognize that this is a time for coming

15:45 together this is a time for extending this is a time for reaching out to ourselves and to others this is not a joke this is serious we are terrified we're all activating our inner children okay in a little children who want parents who know what the f they are doing to show up but there are no parents showing up nobody's showing up we're like we're right thank goodness

16:16 for a coma for example because at least he looks all like a parent and he shows up so we're all activated and magnetized to Como if people are out of New York it's the New York Governor so people in America like holding on to him why because we need parents at this time to step up so our inner children looking for direction looking for help are being activated this is normal this is natural this is okay but while we are seeing our

16:46 inner children let's call it don't think it's you it's your inner child that is wounded it has been wounded that is now coming up your inner child is scared your inner child wants to know what will tomorrow bring your inner child wants to know if you will have money to put on put food on the table it's okay for your inner child to have those fears those are the fears of your inner child but now we have to activate the adult in us

17:13 so the adult could say hey we need help let me reach out to someone and ask for help for money ask for help for emotional support let me get help through wisdom course to a teacher I need help or the adult self could say to the inner child I got you working right but you have to activate a dialogue between yourself and your fearful PTSD in our child so why am i doing the stock

17:43 is to make you aware that maybe you've been having these feelings maybe you've been acting out and not realizing what's wrong with you and now I want to make you realize what's right with you you are right to be traumatized you are right to have big feelings you're right to be afraid 75% of you is terrified I am too it's not a joke when will this end will it ever end how how is it going to end we know

18:13 nothing the uncertainty of tomorrow is terrifying us because we never learned at a young age to live in the present moment so all in all the ultimate teaching right now is we have wounded in a children that can activate it through PTSD of any sort it could be you know you feel betrayed by a partner you feel rejected by a partner what happens is our old PTSD wounds our old load gets

18:45 activated and then we panic we panic we have anxiety that anxiety has different disguises your children have anxiety with different disguises tantruming door slamming lay laziness procrastination listlessness helplessness anger rage substance abuse right these are the faces of anxiety we think they are bad behavior they're not bad behavior no one

19:18 wants to behave badly all of us have a face of anxiety the anxiety is disguising itself through a reaction and unless we see that in our own lives we won't be able to heal the inner child the anxiety of the inner child we will keep reacting and then causing spirals of reaction from others so who is going to break the cycle only we can how by going within asking am i anxious

19:48 right now did I just do a whole match with my teenager or my seven-year-old because I am anxious am i eating out of control because I mentions am i watching netflix over and over and over because I'm anxious am I on edge right now and I'm I'm so angry with the government because actually I'm anxious right so when we're anxious we look for ways to defuse the anxiety part of that is blaming people

20:21 right we're really good at blaming people and how lucky we are that our government and our parents give us a lot to blame right and our children they're they're monsters the government is a monster our parents unconscious every the spouse is lazy and uncooperative everyone is a problem so lucky we are so we can blame blame blame blame blame right blame life blame our luck blame fate blame our American citizenry blame

20:53 the Republicans or the Democrats blame someone it's so lovely that we have someone to blame all the time and it's lovely for a moment we feel good we inject ourselves with a medication a drug we're like thank goodness I don't have to look at myself that's the cause of my problem not me he/she right so we blame okay we blame for one year two years ten years twenty years right I always tell young adults who come to me

21:26 okay I let you blame your parents till 25 I'm going to give you seven more years after 18 because you're not really a grown-up till 25 28 okay even 230 blame your parents but after that you gotta take charge and they're like really really I'm like I mean really because enough how much to blame how much to blame right I always say our parents have every right to be unconscious why shouldn't they be unconscious we think that because

21:56 they're chronologically older they should be spiritually wiser the two don't go together at all or we think Oh someone from an ivy is running our country you know is in the government they should be wise with them unfortunately consciousness unfortunately has nothing to do with how good looking you are how rich you are how educated you are nothing nothing nothing nothing right therefore the most wise people you will meet some of them will be uneducated will not be the ones on the pulpit will

22:29 be the ones on the street right so when we realize that we can't blame anyone at some point we have to look inside look inside and go okay I am living with anxiety I'm bloody miserable no one on the outside can help me right everyone's a nincompoop hmm maybe I need to look at my own nincompoop nests and look at my own attitude toward life this is the only place where the healing begins so

23:03 we look it up then we go inside then we look at the chains we have created between our own anxiety and reaction anxiety reaction anxiety reaction and we stop it how do we stop it by entering the present moment right now you don't have to go clean up your whole load all the crap that you've created in your life can't clean all that up past is the past right too bad that time you got angry that time you got drunk better you

23:29 ate too much now that's in the past it's not here that's not how we begin cleaning up the load we begin cleaning up the load in the present we enter now this moment is a whole new moment and we say okay how am I feeling now now now and we begin to unclasp anxiety and reaction now we effed up yesterday we have top 10 minutes ago it's okay now because that's gone even what I just said five minutes ago

23:58 doesn't matter we're now in the now in the now and how do we do it by tuning in the only way I know is meditation so that's why I teach meditation on that other group for free facebook-dot-com forward-slash groups forward slash get super powered forward slash somebody will post the link I teach meditation everyday around one or two o'clock in the afternoon come and join me learn how to meditate because that's the only way you will learn how

24:27 to live in the present moment so when we go inside we check am I feeling anxious okay now I need to become conscious when I become conscious I can begin to manage this anxiety how do I manage this anxiety by leaning into it writing speaking talking connecting to the anxiety anxiety is nothing to be afraid of it's just a wave that's that right now is constantly waving okay it's

24:59 constantly cresting and truffle it's okay getting in touch with it makes us realize it's always here I can watch it I don't have to go under it I can just see how I'm anxious and anxious and anxious I'm anxious if you keep in touch with it through a non-judgmental observance it doesn't eat you up and you don't go out there and react you name it to claim it to watch it to heal it this

25:30 is this is the thing there's nothing to do with it just name it you claim it you watch it you let it be in the driver's seat you know you can't get rid of anxiety you can't get rid of fear it's just where you put it in the calm is it in the driver's seat is it right next to you in the passenger seat and squishing you is it sitting on your head right or is it in the back seat and then how big

25:58 is your car right which means how much space do you have in your being how much inner space that is is it in the back seat right here holding your neck or is it way back in a big bus you have the internal space is so big that anxiety is there but it's in the back it's a mistake to think you will be without anxiety in life this life is PTSD every moment okay every moment people are constantly going to make you

26:27 feel at edge on end life is constantly so don't think it's not to have fears don't think the goal is not to have anxiety the goal is to know where to place it in your life how much space between you and the anxiety and then go high anxiety oh there you are again oh and in these times it's a constant bed fellow it's in bed with you it's on the plate with you it's in the drink

26:52 with you and it's okay of course how can it not be right leaning into it and welcoming it and go I see you but I'm not scared of you because there's a part of me that is beyond you there is a part of me that is above you there is a part of me that trusts and surrenders that I am part of this energetic cosmos and I will never be one wave of the anxiety I'm just too big I am the ocean itself

27:19 not the wave of anxiety and the ocean itself so that awareness comes from constant wisdom cultivation and meditation that we are the ocean not the waves yes we are the sky in after clouds so the feelings are the clouds are the waves they come and they go they come and they go but I am something beyond I'm something eternal I'm something limitless and constant getting in touch with that only through meditation you can learn with me it's the only way to

27:49 observe so recognizing that most of our experience in life is subjective it's coming from within depending on our anxiety load depending on our unique circumstances our emotional baggage our emotional inheritance and legacy your anxiety can never look like mine so don't expect it to if you're at home and your kid is freaking out so just because it's your kid doesn't mean it has to freak out your way it's freaking out its way just because your partner was throw to you in a legal

28:22 document called marriage doesn't mean they owe you any health they doesn't mean they owe you their coping they're coping in their way at this time and all points of crisis you will uncover your inner child you will see oh my inner child is really emotionally small I'm terrified right now it's okay beautiful opportunity to go in and heal that inner child how do you heal it you have to learn how to heal it you have to take courses with them

28:52 courses self-development courses come meditate with me for free and that's how you learn to grow your inner child but what we're all experiencing is a pandemonium of inner child Rijn really really terrified waiting for their parents but the parents aren't going to come it has to come from within you you are asked to activate the parent and if you can activate the parent in this time of uncertainty then you're going to be able to activate the parent in all times

29:20 of uncertainty times are always uncertain these for sure are some real weird uncertain times I'll give you that but it's okay it's just a reflection of uncertainty there's some certainty or that uncertainty this step or that thing we're all gonna die somehow I'm not making less of it I'm just saying it's always a part of our lives so we're experiencing a concentrated big shocking trauma right now together the beauty is we're doing it together but it

29:51 will hit us subjectively and it's an opportunity to ask ourselves how am i dealing with this trauma because how I'm dealing with this trauma is how I deal with all promise do I rise up do I activate altruism do I activate action and service or am I getting completely bowled over and depending on our healing our PTSD load we will act accordingly it's okay to not act accordingly it's

30:21 okay to not be rising up understand that you're not rising up not because something is wrong with you it's because your PTSD load is too much so it's an opportunity now to lighten that PTSD load how in the now changing now changing your relationship with anxiety in the now how do you do it you have to learn how to do it how take a course follow a teacher learn a new skill but this is what's happening to you yes if

30:49 you're feeling big feelings which you 100% all of us are this is the story behind it so now at least you can name it to claim it to watch it to healing so why don't we do a verse from the Dow the Dow D chain which is a beautiful book that may help you in this time of great trauma so verse third verse 12 no yes verse 12 colors blind the eye sounds

31:20 deafen the ear flame flavors numb the taste thoughts weaken the mind desires wither the heart colors blind the eye sounds deaf in the year flavors numb the taste thoughts weaken the mind desires whither the heart the master the wise one observes the world but trusts the inner vision he allows things to come and go his heart is open as the sky now

31:54 when I talked I swear I didn't even read the what verse but it always matches because it always matches wisdom is wisdom so what this says is don't go with the senses don't go with the reaction don't go with what you see connect to the unseen he trusts his inner vision the inner vision of who it is you truly are who it is you truly are is not your sound is not your eyes is not your taste its energy right he

32:22 allows things to come and go as I said the waves of the ocean the clouds in the sky his heart is as open as the sky meaning he understands that he is something else he he or she is limitless we are energy we are cosmos we will come and go today as you next layer someone else the iteration of the form is not who we are we are disguising ourselves as this but we are really as vast as the

32:49 sky in the ocean so when you have an anxiety of feeling a trauma a a moment of inner panel let it come let it go it's not who you truly are it is just a moment in time it is just a sign the time it is a sign of your wounding sign of your inner child it's not all of you don't let it take you over learn how to go within to claim it to see it to

33:17 healing come and meditate with me facebook-dot-com forward-slash groups forward slash get super powered forward slash I'm gonna meditate there in around 30 minutes I hope I see you there bye guys