Transcript
0:00 I'm dr. Vanessa Lapointe I'm a registered psychologist parenting educator and mom to two growing boys and this is ask dr. V dr dr. Vanessa I tried to parent through connection and attachment and my children are accustomed to this approach they sometimes struggle however when others such as teachers or grandparents take a non attachment behavior focused approach any advice on how to navigate
0:30 situations like this sincerely Amanda the bottom line is that it can be really hard for your children to adapt to situations where they're dealing with other big people who aren't quite on board with the kind of parenting that I typically talk about at the end of the day however having your children experience these kinds of things isn't gonna wreck them in fact one of my ongoing models in life is no challenge no growth so your children actually need
0:57 situations to arise where they have to come up against some hardships some difficulty some experience but they don't feel understood or they feel like something wasn't there or somebody wrongs them and your job as the parents is not necessarily to fix that for your children but rather to come alongside them and really listen to them really and fight with them really have them experience you as the kind of big person who gets them I know that must have felt
1:22 really hard for you must be so frustrating when you feel like your teacher doesn't understand and might kind of hurt your feelings with ramlak that's those days too doesn't it yeah I get that so your job is really just to hear and see and understand them not to fix it of course in the background if you feel like you need to get after business and get a little fierce about things in terms of connecting with the teacher or
1:44 connecting with grandparents or whoever it may be that is bringing the things your child's world because it's becoming too much and you don't think your child's gonna be okay and be able to cope with it then as a parent you do need to step into that but be sure that you step in with relationship and compassion at the forefront so that you can stay connected to that big person to try to pave a path forward for your
2:06 child and remember Amanda
Summary
- Children benefit from facing challenges that may arise from differing parenting styles.
- Parents should prioritize listening to their children's feelings and experiences.
- It's important for parents to validate their children's frustrations without immediately trying to resolve the issue.
- If necessary, parents can advocate for their children by communicating with teachers or family members.
- Maintaining a compassionate and relational approach when addressing concerns is crucial.
- The goal is to help children develop resilience and coping skills through these interactions.