Bret Weinstein & Heather Heying: What Does it Mean To Be An Adult?

0:01 what does it mean to be an adult taking responsibility for the actions uh that that you have enacted in the past and for what it is that you want to achieve and I think I'm an example is is useful here uh it's it happens to be an example from our our firstborn who is 20 in a couple of months uh so you know your your your kid is exactly intermediate between our two two boys um he spent his first year out

0:33 of high school doing an internship in Engineering in Seattle and he was living on his own and only after he got his apartment did I realize we didn't have to coign anything you didn't you didn't even ask us for a signature how how did you do that I I actually don't know how you did that that's fantastic an 18-year-old at that point got his own apartment because he had had a credit score like it it all happened behind the

1:04 scenes according to what we knew because he was actually being responsible in ways that he didn't need to involve Us in that felt like an adult move that many people 10 years in senior wouldn't have been able to pull off there are more examples but maybe I'll stop there BR how about you what is adulthood you know it's an interesting in question and I'm surprised I don't I don't feel like I don't remember ever

1:35 being asked that and uh ordinarily it's the kind of thing I would immediately know the answer to and I don't but there are a couple things that I would say uh are Hallmarks of it one of them is there comes a point at which you are philosophically mature and what that means is that you recognize a that you're going to die and that

2:06 that's not a tragedy and that there's some period of time between now and then you have some set of cards and you have some way to play them towards some set of objectives and you might as well start playing for real because this isn't practice that's closely tied to a recognition that life isn't about you you you are a utterly temporary custodian of something precious beyond

2:39 words you are lucky to have the opportunity not only to be alive but to be a member of a species that can think about what it means to be alive and what might be accomplished and about what it means for something to be beautiful that is that is an Incredible Gift and and most people ignore it and you need at the very least to tap into it and to recognize that there is a

3:09 reason that you are temporary and it's because something else is indefinite right we see it very most clearly those of us who see it see it in our children right the thought that I won't be around and that my children will and that that is not failure that's not me missing out that's me having succeeded in producing a child who can live and whose life is also temporary right that

3:40 just being able to look at that puzzle and not be um Paralyzed by it is a kind of adulthood and the other thing is tied up in the hopy saying we are the ones we've been waiting for we are as we discussed earlier caught in a terrible conundrum as the civilization that has made all of the freedoms we have enjoyed possible is in terrible Jeopardy and we can't even agree on exactly what's jeopardizing it

4:12 that's a frightening predicament to be in and the question is well are you going to take the cards that you hold and play them to maximum effect to solve that problem because you have kids because you may one day have grandchildren and because because they are depending on you and I don't know maybe there are layers to adulthood beyond that but I think some some recognition you know I think some people actually see it in Carl

4:41 Sean's pale blue dot speech um but some recognition of your simultaneous insignificance and capacity to make things better in some way that actually matters is is where it's at may I add to what you said you you you're speaking to uh a loss of the sense of immortality and hubris that characterizes childhood that transition out of hubris and immortality is part of what makes you an

5:13 adult um it is easy to do that once you have children relatively easy we had we waited we were in our mid-30s before we had children as our many professionals right as our many professional couples uh I wouldn't change that in any way I was you know I was I was busy wielding that machete and you know in the jungle throughout my 20s and doing research um and there were there was meaning to

5:46 be had from that work it felt useful and important and productive and creative uh but it is much more difficult to find the the meaning and to have a sense of respon responsibility for yourself uh when you don't have children of your own and so both first the pushing back of having children into you know the 30s Beyond it's harder to go far you know beyond that for women uh I think has

6:16 contributed to the delay of people feeling like and acting like adults and then of course now exactly as you say John we have so many people who say I'm not going to have kids at all we know some of these people people who when we knew them when they were younger we were certain like oh she's going to be an amazing mom so now saying I'm not no I'm that's not what I'm going to do partnered up with a wonderful man no

6:41 we're not we're not going to do that it is a Scourge it is a confusion that is closely related to the trans confusion um but it is coming in the guise of yes this is to save the planet if you like this clip we've got more where that came from be sure to watch the full video and don't forget to subscribe to the channel so you won't miss our new videos as they come out each week