HOW TO TEACH KIDS ABOUT THE REAL THANKSGIVING: Children's Books + Resources | The Mom Psychologist

0:00 Says there was no Indians with woven blankets over their shoulders and large feathered headdress cascading down their backs. There was no Pilgrims in somber black clothes and tall hats with silver buckles either. The English didn't even call themselves Pilgrims at that time. That's the a myth. The 19th century painters who created these dramatic images were just plain wrong. They got their ideas from Indian dress, from Western plain Indians who performed in Buffalo Bill's Wild west show, and from popular historical pageants staged by Nana Indians.

0:36 They wanted to show the religious intensity and bravery of the English, looking prosperous and wearing somber clothing. They often drew the Native Americans to look like ignorant savages, outnumbered by the English and lurking the sidelines. These images have been reproduced in so many school rooms and pageants and illustrations that people think they must be true. Hi Hello. Welcome back to my channel. If you are new here, I am Dr. Jasmine. I'm a clinical psychologist as well as a mom of two and I'm really excited to dive into this topic.

1:10 This is something that is near and dear to my heart. I'm very passionate about how do we help young children understand our history in ways that are manageable for them, that are not overwhelming, but also that don't sugarcoat them and sugarcoat things and keep them from the truth. So we'll be diving into that. But real quick, before I dive into the video, I just want to share if you are watching this video live, then that I am teaching a live workshop later Today on Monday, November 22nd at 12:00pm Pacific Standard Time, all on discipline.

1:43 So I'll be talking about how do we get our child to listen to us without doing the things that we hate like yelling, bribing, punishing, threatening. So be sure to check out the the workshop. It is completely free. There's going to be Q and A at the end, free resources for you on top of that to free further your learning. So I am so excited for the workshop. I hope that you'll join us. To register and save your spot, you can go to themompsychologist.com forward/workshop.

2:13 The links will be in the description box as well as the comment section below this video. So I can't wait and I will see you guys there. Okay, so let's just cut right into it. When is the most appropriate age to start talking about the truth of Thanksgiving? I think it's closer to preschool age, so 4, 5 years old. We should start thinking about how to navigate the nuances of this topic. Before that, when they're toddlers, you can lead with teaching them, of course, about Native American culture, Teaching them about the topic of gratitude and thankfulness.

2:54 What does that mean? What does that look like? How do we practice that in everyday life, in everyday language, and especially as we are thinking about Thanksgiving? That can be one of the themes that you talk about. And also, again, leading with information and celebrating and honoring the culture of Native Americans. Right. And making sure that you're honoring both the history as well as making it clear they are still around today. And so how can we honor them today?

3:26 So when they're little, that's. Those are the types of things you can focus on. And then around age 4 and 5 is when you can start to honor. Honor the nuances of the topic of the history of Thanksgiving. So you want to teach them that there was a feast, but also teach them that this feast happened during a time where it was really hard for the Native Americans. Right. Where the Europeans weren't treating the Native Americans fairly.

3:56 Again, this is, you know, kind of the concept that preschoolers have a really good grasp on is the idea of fairness. And so you can help them understand, you know, what is fair, what is not fair, and then help them understand that the Europeans were not treating the Native Americans fairly. They weren't making good choices, and they weren't treating them nicely overall. That can be sort of how you frame it. How do you kind of lead with that idea?

4:26 Another really important thing to either I recommend having is a map of the world. So for my preschooler, I have a four and a half year old, she's almost five. We have a map of the world in her room. We also have a map of the United States. And this actually really helped our conversation because I could show her in a very visual way where the Europeans are located. Right. And that they came, you know, and they'll learn about the Mayflower ship.

4:56 Right? And you could teach them about that. They came on their ship called the Mayflower, and they traveled all the way to the United States. And so. And then you can show them where, you know, on the east coast they landed and where they came in contact with the Native Americans who were the people that were already living on this land. Okay, so those are kind of the language you can use. And again, helping them understand in a visual way what that really looked like.

5:23 We ended up. My daughter and I ended up having a really good conversation about that, about, you know, Europeans and the Native Americans. And it was really helpful for her to see, see in a visual way what that even looked like. The other thing That I like to introduce around this age, and especially as they get older, is the idea of storytelling and that, you know, history is about telling a story about how things were before us, but paying attention to how does the story change depending on who's telling the story.

5:56 Right. And why might that be? Right. That we, you know, there's different perspectives to the same story, but that the story can change depending on who is telling it. And so helping them think critically through that and helping them think critically about the information that they are taking in. So again, helping them understand and asking questions like whose story is being told here? Right. Why might that be? Is there more to the story? Right. And also helping them understand around this, around this age, preschool age, and beyond that.

6:30 For Native Americans, this is not a holiday that is about celebration. It's actually a somber holiday for them. Right. It's a day of mourning. Right. It's a day of honoring our ancestors. Right. And the pain that they had to go through because people weren't treating them nicely. So it's important for them to start to understand those concepts that, yes, there was a feast, but it was during a time of great suffering. Right. Of great sadness for these people.

6:59 And so it's important that we're aware of that, that we honor that and we honor their culture. So I'm be sharing some books that I think will be a nice compliment. These. This is not an exhaustive list. I'll include more books down below in the description. But this one, we are Grateful by Tracy Sorel, is really, really good. It has some beautiful pictures and in this again introduces the concept of gratefulness, which is something that you can start to focus on when they're younger, 2, 3, 4ish, and even beyond.

7:35 Right. And so this kind of just helps them understand these types of things and helps them. It's a good introduction to the culture, the Native American culture. Fry Bread is another great one. This one talks about the tradition of making fry bread in Native American culture, but it also expands to their overall history and overall culture. This is a really good one. Really beautiful pictures in here. It says, fry Bread is everything.

8:06 Brown, flat, large, small, north, south, east, west, brown, yellow, black, white, familiar and foreign. Old and new, we come together. Fry Bread is us. We are still here, elder and young, friend and neighbor. We strengthen each other to learn, change and survive.

8:37 So just a really, really good book that I strongly recommend. Another really Good one is 1621. This is probably for best for older kids, though. I'm thinking five, six. But it goes through and has really good pictures and accurate description descriptions about the history and about a lot of the myths that are out there about the Native American culture. This page I really love.

9:08 It's called Making a Myth, and it talks about how there was no cranberry sauce, there was no pumpkin pie at the harvest celebration in 1621, and how that is a myth. Says there was no Indians with woven blankets over their shoulders and large feathered headdress cascading down their backs. There was no Pilgrims in somber black clothes and tall hats with silver buckles either. The English didn't even call themselves Pilgrims at that time. That's a myth. The 19th century painters who created these dramatic images were just plain wrong.

9:43 They got their ideas from Indian dress, from Western plain Indians who performed in Buffalo Bill's Wild west show, and from popular historical pageants staged by Nana Indians. They wanted to show the religious intensity and bravery of the English. Looking prosperous and wearing somber clothing. They often drew the Native Americans to look like ignorant savages, outnumbered by the English and lurking the sidelines. These images have been reproduced in so many school rooms and pageants and illustrations that people think they must be true.

10:17 So this is a really good book, even for yourself, to kind of go through and educate yourself about the history of this country as it relates to Native Americans, particularly because a lot of the stories and the narratives that are being portrayed are being taught to our child in school is just simply a myth, and it's not true. And it's perpetuating these stereotypes. And so it's really important as us, as a parents, to help our child understand these are.

10:49 This isn't the truth, that these are myths that people have come to believe just because we tell them over and over and over over the years. But this is actually the truth. And so let's talk about that. Let's learn about it. Let's make sense of it together. So this is a really, really good book. It's called 1961. Again, this is more for older kids, but this can be a really good introduction for ourselves to make sure that.

11:16 And make sure we're checking ourselves on the true history of our country. We're all dispelling the myth that this is Thanksgiving, too, is just, like, really laughable, because Native Americans have been giving thanks to their land and to their ancestors for thousands of years. And so they have been practicing Thanksgiving for thousands of years. And so this idea that there was this first Thanksgiving and all of that is really. Is a strong disservice to the actual history and culture of Native Americans.

11:51 So just really important to make sure that we're educated, make sure that we're slow, slowing down and taking the time to understand these things for ourselves so that then we can help our child understand these things. Now, of course, you know, the amount of information, the amount of details will, you know, increase as they get older, as they can understand more. But for, you know, the purposes of this video, I just want to be clear that when they're toddlers, more of the focus is on gratitude and thankfulness, as well as exposing them, understanding Native American heritage and culture.

12:29 So for the toddlers, you know, ages 2 to 4, what you can focus on is teaching them about the concept of gratitude and thankfulness. There's a lot of good books out there. The ones that I like are the thankful book that's geared towards ages 2 to 4. There is also I am thankful again, ages about 2 to 5. And then the llama llama gives thanks, which is for ages 1 to 3. So I'll share the links to those book books down in the description.

13:01 Here are some other ones too that are really good. This one is the thank you book by Mo Williams, and it says, I am one lucky pig. I have a lot to be thankful for. I had better get thanking mouse, birdies, rhino, hippo, big sister, barky dog, pelican bird, bear, hippo, worms. Thank you all for being great friends.

13:31 So just a really good book again, to introduce the concept of gratitude and thanking those around us, you know, being thankful for the people that we have in our life. Another great book is thank you amu. This book is absolutely beautiful, such beautiful illustrations. But again, it introduces the idea of gratitude. So the book shares about how AMU made this stew for everybody in town and how, you know, she ended up with nothing else.

14:08 And she, you know, here's a knock at her door and she's like, I'm sorry, everybody, I have no more stew left. And then they're like, you know, we are here to give. And so then they come and they bring their food and it's about just, you know, gratitude, you know, having time with the people that we love and also having this giving spirit and kind of reciprocating that with those that we love and just those around us in our community.

14:37 So it's a beautiful book. And it ends with, thank you, amu. The dinner was the best she had ever had. So such a cute little book. So again, early on, you can introduce the idea of gratitude. Use children's books as a way to spring off these conversations and keep the conversations going. And Then around age 4, 5 and beyond is when you start to introduce the idea of fairness and about our history and how you, you know, use the map to show that, you know, where the Europeans were living and where they traveled to and how there were people that already lived on this land that we now call the United States.

15:22 They are called the Native Americans, and how, you know, they came and they weren't always very kind. And that this is a really, for a lot of Native Americans, this is a holiday of mourning, right? This is a day of mourning. And how it's really important, what we can do is celebrate them, honor their land. And you can also get a map of the United States and the different tribes around the United States and really honor, you know, whose land are we on?

15:54 Oh, we're on, you know, you know, know the tribe of what, what land you occupy. So there's a website called native land.ca. i'll link it down below for sure. It's a great website that breaks down the different tribes and the land and, and where you, you know, so you can understand for yourself what land you occupy and then help your child understand that concept as well. Now, you know, with all of these conversations, it's not gonna always feel the most comfortable.

16:29 We might not get it right the first time, but that's okay, right? You're opening this conversation up. This is not like a one and done conversation. You know, you don't read these books just because now is Thanksgiving and then you kind of put them away and never to be talked about until ideally, these are conversations that you have ongoing throughout the year and that these are just the times of the year where, you know, you ramp it up and you talk about it more given, you know, what's going on in the world.

16:57 Right. And that it's Thanksgiving, but Thanksgiving. But you know, again, ideally, these are conversations that you have throughout your home throughout the year. So don't put so much pressure on yourself if this is the first conversation you're having, knowing that you'll have plenty of opportunities to talk about this with your child on an ongoing basis. So let's talk about how to navigate school and like what they're learning at school versus maybe what you're teaching at home.

17:27 And maybe they are not perfectly aligned. So one, if you know, you're. If you know that your child's teacher and their school are doing certain things that are really highly offensive, like dressing up, up as Native Americans or something like that, I would have a conversation with your school, with your with your child's teacher and the staff about, you know, why this is offensive, why your child won't be participating in it and why, you know, you don't think it should be.

18:01 And then, you know, having that same conversation with your child about why we, you know, we don't dress up right. And how it's offensive to Native Americans and white. It's offensive now if, you know, the, the lessons that they're teaching during this week leading up to Thanksgiving is not in line, right. It's very, it's oftentimes it tends to be European centered and focused on, you know, sugar coating a lot of things and the joyous things and just focusing on that, but really missing a big truth, right?

18:40 That this was not a good time, it was not a fun time for Native Americans and why. So you can, you know, have those conversations with your teacher and with your child's teacher about the importance of honoring all cultures, right. Not just the European culture, but being sure to make sure that they're, you know, the. It's important that I'm in school. We are honoring and celebrating the Native American culture just as much during this holiday. And what does that look like to honor and celebrate them?

19:11 Right? And really, you know, how important, having that multicultural emphasis and teaching our children about the different cultures and how important that is. So you can give them a, a book list of helpful children's books that are age appropriate and I'll include the link of some books that you can offer them. And again, just overall dispelling the myth and really saying, you know, taking a stand and advocating for your and other children, learning that, you know, this is European centered.

19:42 And I really think it's important that we honor and celebrate all cultures involved here, including the Native Americans. And that we honor that this wasn't, you know, for a lot of Native Americans, this is not a fun, happy celebration. This is a day of mourning. Right. And that we need to be respectful of that and we need to honor that as, as, you know, as a community. And so you, you know, you can invite them to watch this video and again, share with them the different resources.

20:12 At the end of the day, we don't have control over what happens, but what we can control is how we advocated, right. We spoke up and that we have these conversations in our home. So my children, they go to an online school program called New Sphere and I wrap up my concerns to my daughter's teachers and they were very, very receptive. They are actually changing their whole curriculum school wide, which I think is amazing. And awesome.

20:42 And so you just never know the impact that you will have by speaking up. So I just want to, you know, uplift you and inspire you to speak up in ways that are respectful, of course, but also like, hey, you know, this is a problem for me and I'm speaking up about it. I think that, you know, and here's my resources that I know know I'm not perfect at this, but I really do think that this is important for our little ones to know they're not too young, right?

21:10 And so it's important that they know their history, they know about Native American cultures and all, you know, all different cultures. And so I just want to inspire you that you just never know the impact of speaking up and the impact of advocating for, you know, everybody, right? Your child and also other children learning how to as well. And at the end of the day, you know, have those conversations at home, right? Have those conversations ongoing.

21:38 This is not a one time conversation, right? So get your books, right? And, and be prepared to have these conversations ongoing as they grow older. And again, don't forget to encourage that critical thinking, right? Who's telling this story? Is there another side to this story? Right? How, how and why does this story change depending on who's telling it? Like, let's think about that, right? Encourage those critical thinkers because that's just such a great skill to have overall, but especially as they learn history, right?

22:11 And as they're being exposed to different versions of the story. So I hope that this video was helpful and let me know if you have any other questions down below. Again, if you're watching this video live, I will be having a live free discipline workshop. I hope that you're able to join us. It will be today, Monday, November 22nd at 12pM Pacific Standard Time. And that's it for this video. I will see you in the next one.

22:39 Bye.