Are you making this mistake as a Parent? #healthyparenting #parentingcoach #positiveparenting

0:00 Hey, Ankita, tell me a big parenting mistake that parents are making. Well, I think it's comparison. Because every time we say, look at that other child. Why can't you be like your cousin? We think we're motivating them, but actually we are doing the exact opposite, as per neuroscience. Right? Because here's what's happening in their brain. When you're comparing them to another child, it really doesn't activate their motivation center. It actually triggers their stress response response. So their brain hears, I'm not good enough.

0:29 My mama wishes I was different. And you know, that shuts down learning and it doesn't encourage it. So let me give you an example. Your 5 year old is learning to write. You know, they show you their goggly letters, you know, and they're very, very proud. And then you say, see how neatly your cousin's writing? You should practice more like him. Now their brain says, oh, Arab is better than me and I'm disappointing my mom, you know, so.

0:52 So if children hear this kind of comment regularly, they start believing that their self worth depends on being better than others and they stop trying things when they might not be the best. So in this situation, what should a mom do? I think instead of comparing their child to another child, you can just say, oh, look at your letters. They are so much steadier than last week. And you're practicing your writing so much. And that encourages practice.

1:16 The earlier message says, you're not enough and the next message says, you're growing. And I notice, you know, the sentences are a little different, but the impact on the brain is really huge.