What is freedom? How to attain it?

0:01 hey everyone come on in book club number 50. i don't have my book with me right now but trust me it's book club number 50. i've done 50 of these i don't know how many more i'm gonna do but we play it by ear and we stay in the moment and that's what i'm gonna talk about today is how do we stay in the moment hi guys how are you so

0:31 freedom doesn't lie anywhere except in your own choice except in your own decision except in your own mind so i was talking to a friend of mine today in india and she was telling me how she doesn't feel free in india and i said to her you know it has nothing to do with india freedom is in everyone's

1:04 possession it's in everyone's grasp it's at everyone's fingertips so it's just your choice to feel free is your right is your decision is your power is your choice people think that a relationship can make them free people think that more money will make them free

1:35 you know or i when i lived in india i ran away because i wasn't feeling free now if you live in countries where there's extreme sexism and danger and enslavement and of course there is such a thing as physical freedom i always talk about the difference between mental freedom and physical freedom so if you are a woman who's living in an abused relationship get the f out if you are living in a country like like afghanistan right now try to get the

2:06 hell out if you can if you're living under any duress get the hell out try i'm talking about mental freedom if you are in a relatively safe physical situation then it's quite likely that your experience of freedom may lie here it's as simple as a switch as a choice

2:36 and typically we don't feel free because we don't feel worthy we don't feel free because we don't feel like we can live without the approval of others so the approval of others becomes the binding cage our need for others becomes our noose and this is where we eff it up because we believe that the other

3:07 holds power and i promise you this besides if they are your physical captors nobody holds your power you take it back and you know how you take it back you take it back in your mind so sacred gland says can i read your new book to my online community yes absolutely so your decision is simply yours

3:38 you literally can go i take my power back say it i take my power back don't give it and if you gave it because you were like you know intoxicated by need or dependency you freaking take it back now say i take it back and it's all here penniless homeless it doesn't matter fat thin tall or skinny it doesn't matter you can take your power back joseph

4:10 you take your power back it's it is literally a decision it's it's an it's a light bulb moment where you go okay who the f said this person is better than me who said that i need this person like where did that idea come from so the minute you realize that you take your power back and remember that even though the material may seem like it has a

4:42 a hold on you you know but i like that bed where he lives so i like my dad's garden and i want to be in the garden or my dad gives me money right or or my best friend you know knows everybody in town whatever you think is your access to worth either the bed or the garden or the friendships or the popularity it's an illusion it's an illusion okay it's not true that that defines you

5:13 you've just temporarily become insane to think that that defines you nothing material defines you now of course if you're caged if you're being raped that's a different sort of enslavement i'm not talking about that i'm talking about all the rest of our neuroses right because we've decided that you know living in turkey is freedom or we've decided living in in china is freedom or living in in north america by a lake on a mountaintop is freedom no no

5:43 no those are nice those may be your dreams but they are not your freedom your freedom is only your decision here you decide that nobody on the outside can have ownership of you nobody on the outside has ownership over you not your mom not your dad not your lover not your brother not your sister not your aunt not a celebrity not

6:14 your governor you understand if you've given your power and you feel caught it's because you somewhere became two years old five years old seven years old you completely forgot that you were an adult and you literally decided that this other person is so amazing girl than you they may be amazing but they ain't amazing girl than you i'm telling you it's some trap of the freaking mind that we do it's some

6:45 kaleidoscopic trick in our mind a psychic assault abduction where because we gave our power to our parents you see we always learn to give our power outside so any shiny object outside we give it and if they're rich or cute or have big boobs or big muscles oh we give it right away don't get don't get trapped by the eye candy though it's nice to see

7:16 see it and that's it don't give the power you can give your heart you can like it with your eyes you can lick it with your tongue but you do not give your power your power is only one person's yours that nobody gets they can get your heart maybe they can get your admiration maybe but do not give your power and when

7:48 you're seeing yourself go all like you know how we women especially we women okay we love to be the victims and the martyrs we're like oh you know i'm all alone or oh how could she do this or whoa how could he do this to me i'm so amazing stop it stop it like rachel hollis says girl wash your face right you ca you can't get into this woe is me kind of because when you're in

8:14 woe is me somewhere you're thinking that that person or that relationship or that thing is better than you right now and you right now aren't aware of how amazing you right now are and whose problem is that whose fault is that yours not your mom's not your dad's not your lovers if you can't feel your power right now i don't care if you are overweight if you have 10 pimples on your face if you're penniless in a hotel room in a slum in a mansion

8:46 the outside has no bearing on how you feel powerful you may feel comfortable in a mansion versus islam but that's not anything to do with how powerful you are your power is yours only and it has nothing to do with where you are so when we decide that nobody is more amazing than us for ourselves and that we are our best friends

9:19 and that we are infinitely resourceful and infinitely creative and infinitely empowered then we can love we can care we can cherish we can cry we can miss we can all sorts of lovely things but we cannot give our power away and when you have your power you have freedom the two are together if you don't have your own power you will never have freedom

9:50 so power comes from your cultivation of your inner worth of your decision that you are a magnificent magician a worthy just unbelievable being f what culture says you are here for you this life is only one guys i don't care if you come back as a bumble bee in your next life you ain't you so this life as you

10:20 at this moment this current iteration is only one oh we just missed another moment oh another moment we're missing moments because we want samantha to like us and we want jacob to kiss us and we want tony to marry us what are we doing this life is only for you to love you for you to be with you

10:51 you are amazing now get up and go on a walk and get up and go get a sweat get up and go cuddle a dog or a cat or a giraffe at the zoo poor giraffe in the zoo but whatever there are animals to see they're for free nature for free frogs for free leaves for free mountains for free brooks and rivers for free what are you

11:22 doing in your house crying what are you doing go there's so much to see and develop and cultivate on your own but we have not taught ourselves how to be one with ourselves and we are looking for others you are infinitely powerful i'm not talking like i hate motivational talks i'm just now sounding like a motivational dog so let us change tracks

11:53 because god forbid i'm known to be a motivational pep talker i hate pep talks okay i'm just speaking the truth so when we give power away there's a trick of the mind that happens that tells us somebody on the outside is more amazing that is a wretched treacherous chicanery idea it's full of chicanery it has no merit the other person can be a nice companion for a glass of wine

12:25 and some play but nothing else they do not get your power so when you hold that as your truth then you always have something to return to you always have like oh i have myself right or you have your best friend or you have your mom whoever that person is let that person be you right you be your own default you're like hey hey hey i have me and therefore you're you're never lost

12:57 you're never at zero ever you were from zero to 100 the other person was 101. so one got taken out okay you're back to hundred you understand that's why you have to cultivate zero to hundred and when you don't cultivate zero to hundred you get destroyed when the person leaves you and you think it's them and they think it's them it ain't them it's because you and your relationship to yourself is zero

13:27 was five and because your relationship with yourself in that relationship with the other was five when that person leaves you at negative 500 and you appear destroyed you're not destroyed it is an illusion it's because you are not in alignment with yourself to a hundred so all this drama i've been betrayed i've been left i've been cheated on i've been deserted is not true guys it's not true i'm sorry to say

13:58 right i'm going to lose half of my clients because most of my clients come to me to get fixed after a breakup but i like to give advice for free so that i can help you to suffer less so the important thing right now is for you to cultivate your relationship with yourself how do you do that you go to university school university get a university degree and go to school called university school

14:30 to coach yourself you take one of my courses or you take eckarts courses or you take byron katie's courses or you take so many courses on you google amazing spiritual teachers and take somebody's damn course and then you go and get a degree in your relationship with yourself that's what you do and that's how you inoculate yourself you immunize

15:01 yourself you guarantee no power given next time so anytime you're giving your power it's because you have not done the work you have not cultivated who it is you are and that is nobody's responsibility but your own you're sitting here listening to me and after you listen to me go cultivate deep inner communion right whenever i have nothing to do i never have nothing to do because i always have me to cultivate

15:34 so when i have nothing else to do on the outside i'm like oh time to sit and talk to myself time to sit and meditate and get in touch with myself time to sit and take care and please myself and take self-care what does shefali want to do and i spend so much energy on myself because that's my responsibility because in that way when i meet my next person my best friend my sister my dog my lover whoever it is i am going to be

16:05 a whole full human being so if you've wasted your life not taking care of yourself you're going to feel empty lost deserted out at sea but no harm done no time lost start now the present moment is where you begin right here right now go holy freaking mother of all i have wasted my life wanting wishing hoping for someone else

16:36 and something else i gotta wake up and one tight spiritual slap on your face and get your ass going into loving who it is you are so you love your job because it is the job you got you love your house because it's the house you got stop complaining and instead go and cultivate what it is you want to do today and each step you take and each breath of fresh air you inhale you connect

17:07 connect to this glorious being that you are you are not upon or a victim or an accident or a consequence you are vital but i'm sorry to say only for you okay have no illusion please that you are vital for anyone else i dropped my daughter off at college i have no illusion as to how miniscule of importance i have

17:40 like i wasn't even living with her i'm like hello do you not miss me am i not important am i not significant no i'm actually very happy to be forgotten i love it but were i not so evolved i would be in a big depression called the empty nest and the emptiness exists because we have not cultivated our essence but because i've cultivated my essence i'm like you don't miss me sweetheart

18:11 i don't know whether i miss you i hope she doesn't hear she doesn't even hear my videos ever ever ever ever put a gun to her head and she will not hear my videos so i'm safe anyway so the moment is now start now so that your relationships from now on are not needy pathetic dependent whiny complaining relationships so that next time somebody ill treats you mistreats you abuses you you go oh

18:43 you were just number 101 i take the one out and back to me which is 0 200 and you say peace go i get you i understand i'm not your cup of tea i get it do you see me fighting for you and you come back to yourself if you don't get a job you come back to yourself if you don't get that house you come back to yourself you come back to yourself your relationship with yourself

19:09 is your greatest antidote your greatest antiseptic your greatest vaccine it's everything but you have to cultivate that you have to honorably honestly day by day cultivate your relationship with yourself are you going to do it or you're going to just wait for the next lovely thing to come which may never come there is no lovely thing by the way okay i left india came to america dying

19:41 salivating to come to america came to america you thought i stopped crying you stopped i stopped you think i stopped whining i whined in america so there's nothing on the outside it doesn't exist ask anybody who has lived enough and jim carrey says i wish for everyone to be rich so that they would realize that it's it's not the source of happiness i think it was jim carrey so nothing on the outside is the source of

20:09 your happiness except for you so take a course go on a quest mind valley has amazing quests including mine there i have courses eckhart has courses byron katie has courses and many other spiritual teachers these are just my favorites take a course and connect to yourself because your power lies in your deep rooted affinity affection admiration of yourself when you give yourself daily doses of

20:42 i'm pretty cool i'm really good enough i'm really worthy i'm pretty awesome i know it sounds so cliched but when you really believe that not just for the sake of a pep talk when you really think you're an awesome person then when another person rejects you you're like okay not awesome for you it doesn't matter i don't want to be awesome for you i want to be awesome for me so you have to cultivate this and the the moment to do

21:12 that is in the now okay guys that was book club number 50. okay now i don't have the book i hope you've read my book it's called a radical awakening it's in some other bag right now and i don't want to go and get it i'm too lazy so get my book read my book if you want to radically awaken and be free just saying 50 done check check check bye

21:42 guys keep your power know your freedom that's how you know freedom when you keep your power bye guys