Episode 56: Healing After a Natural Disaster with Conscious Discipline

0:00 [Music] welcome to real talk for real teachers I'm dr. Becky Bailey the creator of conscious discipline expert in education child development and a lifelong teacher and learner for those listening who are not aware of consciousness one it is a comprehensive brain based trauma-informed social-emotional learning program that integrates self

0:32 regulation classroom discipline and school culture into one seamless systemic whole now most of us by now have heard the words trauma-informed or trauma sensitive they are terms widely used today now conscious discipline is and has always been trauma-informed not only is it trauma-informed it is trauma based now what I mean is that the whole

1:03 program is about optimal brain development for both adults and children regardless of what brain they inherited or acquired through life experiences so whether the child or adult has experienced chronic stress trauma enrichments or genetic abnormalities the goals always remain the same one how do I help the child experience a felt sense

1:33 of safety in my presence and in the presence of others too how do I create an authentic connection with the child how do I help them let go of their defenses enough for an authentic connection and 3 how do I teach coach and model the executive skills needed to set and achieve goals despite obstacles and distractions and finally how do we

2:06 empower everyone to receive and give empathy there are basically three types of trauma acute chronic or complex acute trauma results from a single incident and those we are getting more and more of as our weather patterns are changing and our storms are becoming more intense chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged complex trauma is exposure to varied in

2:38 multiple traumatic events often of an invasive interpersonal nature today we're going to talk about acute trauma specifically about a massive tornado in Alabama in Beauregard Alabama and what to conscious discipline teachers teamed up to do about the situation and how they showed their resilience and put it back into the community as leaders of resilience as

3:11 you know and most of you know research has shown that children are particularly vulnerable to trauma because of their rapidly developing brain so both these teachers were teaching four-year-olds during trauma a child and adults brain is jacked up into a heightened alarm state once the event is over because that tornado came through in a hurry the heightened brain state continues now for some that will just be months and months

3:41 and months of sleep disruptions eating nightmares etc but for others who had other issues before the tornado this could be a lifelong issue that changes the emotional behavioral and cognitive function of that individual join me now in a conversation with April and Hillary about the massive tornado in Beauregard Alabama and how through being of service began the healing process for themselves

4:12 and their community so welcome everyone we're here today with some folks from Alabama so this is April and Hillary and I'll let you introduce yourself so April what's your whole name and what do you do and where do you teach my name is April corn and I teach for the first class pre-k program in Alabama at Beauregard Elementary school in Lake County Alabama Lake County and Hillary her name is Hillary spradlin and I teach OSR pre-k at

4:43 Madison County Elementary School in Madison County and you guys both of you are part of the big conscious discipline program in Alabama that there are massive movement in Alabama spurred by the governor yay and how is that whole process going for you April it's been amazing and I'm not gonna say it's been easy but it has been life-changing and I think for me I work better quickly yes

5:14 and so once I see something that's going to work for me I want to be all-in immediately so I think that it's been good to have the ability with the coaching and all of extra trainings to be able to jump in and name kind of you know a little bit more background on how it all works so that I can really immerse myself and do you think that coaching was helpful yes yes so you had a coach how often did the coach come

5:42 into your classroom about once a month once a month oh well that was nice so Hillary how was it for you what how was the process I would say life changing also so we have a high trauma school and when we really started getting like doing conscious discipline to fidelity we did it because we were desperate and it changed not only us and how we viewed our kids but it changed our kids and it

6:12 changed our parents and so it was I mean the impact is just huge it was a big ripple effect and it's it's our schools becoming more trauma-informed our parents are becoming more trauma-informed it's just it's just been massive speaking of trauma so you're in Beauregard Alabama and and you're sad claim to fame has been that last massive tornado so you must have been close to this tornado yes and Beauregard is a

6:45 small rural community mm-hmm and that is where it actually went right through and say the impacts were a huge ripple effect on everyone in the community whether it was their house that was destroyed or their family who lost someone every single person in the community was affected how did conscious discipline so you you didn't go into conscious discipline tornado training but how did conscious discipline help you when this

7:16 devastation did come you talked Hillary that you felt it helped with the trauma in the lives already of the children you're serving but this is a massive acute trauma that happened to a whole community how did that did it help you in hell yes it definitely helped me and reflecting back on it I can see even more how it helped and it's funny Ken Dutson is my coach yes and I say she is my life changer as well because when we

7:45 started I think for me it was an easy jumping in because my belief system already aligned directly with conscious discipline so I wasn't having to take away things from my classroom I was just able to use the structure so conscious discipline to align with my belief system already right yeah and so as soon as I started finding out about it I was just like this is for me and but when she came in the first day she was able

8:14 to see straight through me and all I saw was very self-aware and I was to an extent like I knew that I had feelings of anxiety I knew I had anxiety attacks and I could get to a certain point but I had no clue how that affected the people around me and she could see that the first day I've been close personal I'm having an anxiety attack in the middle of the classroom and say where I was

8:39 thinking the coaching was going to be on what I did right and wrong in the classroom it was on me and say my first goal was that I had to breathe and I didn't realize I couldn't breathe and she helped me to be able to take all of those structures and really use them to create the class family based around safety and helpfulness and the safety was a big part and I didn't realize at the time

9:07 which looking back last night I realized she probably knew exactly what she was doing I needed that safety right and so as I began feeling more safe with her and in my classroom I was able to offer that safety to the kids so it started with you first and at first you're thinking it's out here and I'm gonna help these kids and everything's gonna do you had the same experience somewhat Hillary here and then as you get into

9:32 consciousness of a little deeper and especially when you go through the coaching it asks you to self-reflect ask you to come up with your own insight your own answers as opposed to what you did right or wrong and through that what I'm hearing is you grew within yourself first is that correct yes and I think that was the game changer for me uh-huh and it's still the game changer for me and through that we introduced feeling

9:59 buddies we had already been doing the safe keeper routine and everything we did was based around that is safe we had already introduced the levy rituals and doing the one-on-one with several of the kids that needed it in the classroom and so at the time I knew it was working you know and I could build those connections at a deeper level than I had but I didn't realize I was going to need that so much and learn months that were to

10:27 come so now let's move up to the tornado so the tornado comes and Hillary your school is about four hours away right and you are right in the path and so the tornado happens and it's just devastating now you're the teacher of all these little kids some lost their homes and the parents I mean what's your what's your thought what's your process well I

10:58 mean how do you even wrap your head around going forth with this I don't think you did it begin with I remember that my immediate thoughts were are they safe or my kids safe as my school family safe are their family safe and then my next immediate thought was how can I help right and so immediately I took the steps to answer my questions and at this

11:29 point I need that anxiety says find more information and so I started finding more information and so immediately I jumped in to help and did everything I could and I learned from that that it helped me to feel better but it also was helpful to me to see the impact of everybody else's hopefulness so that notion that we say in conscious discipline to be of service that can actually balance your your internal states and help you regulate and I'm

11:59 sure Hillary you knew this with the kids with trauma you know so we always have to ask them to be of service to help someone else to help someone else but you lived it you lived it you walk down a devastated Street and started being of service and again it just lets you know what you already knew right right yeah so now how did you translate that into what you've started with your families well I was able to start thinking okay

12:27 how can I help them now we were out of school for over a week and I didn't want to wait a week my anxiety said I need to actually touch my children mm-hmm and know that they're okay yeah um and I also mean I guess something clicked within me and said okay I feel scared they feel scared and if I want to feel safe and they want to feel safe awesome and if it helps me to

12:56 be helpful they're gonna want to be helpful yes so everything that I did from that point on was based on those two foundations I want them to feel safe and I want them to be able to feel helpful exactly and so I decided I was going to do handles it's okay so I made myself stop and come back to the present it's okay if I don't go out and help the people who are directly impacted mm-hmm I want to help

13:26 my family and say I wanted to take them some of the tools that they already had in place in the classroom to be able to use at home and the heart cream is a big one in our classroom okay I stop there so heart cream so what do you do with the heart cream everything we had a lot of kids but also had safety issues this year I think God kind of pits in your path yeah exactly what you need and I needed

13:53 to be able to strengthen that in them to strengthen left me and so anytime they were feeling sad upset and safe they got the heart cream and that was something that they could use with themselves it was something they began using with the other children so you just kind of rub it and soothing heart cream beautiful okay so you got the heart cream and I wanted them to have a social story that's another very big thing that has

14:18 been a part of my classroom before pre-k I was inclusion and same even in second grade that was something we can't sing well he used say I wanted them to have a social story I need had the social story about feeling scared and so I went to your website and I downloaded that and tweaked it for the tornadoes and then I also wanted them to have a feeling buddy and obviously it and have a teen feeling

14:42 buddies that could stay with him at their house so I went and found stuffed animals or such people and ticket to them and so I set up the ten visits and basically when I got there I wanted the parents to name I love your child I care about them and I'm here even if we're not in school I'm here I wanted them to have the strategy sees with their kids and I wanted their children to know that

15:09 just because we use this in the classroom then we're not at school we can use it at home team and say I talk to the parents and I sat with each child a lot of times it was multiple kids because they had their siblings Ference so we all piled up together and we read the story and stopped and talked about how they felt about it and then we went through the ritual of the heart cream and then we talked about the feeling

15:34 buddies and it's funny because a lot of the kids actually it asked me well our feeling but it's okay and they were all say very concerned about their friends safety in the classroom so I had to assure them that I'd been in contact with everybody and everyone was safe and I believe what looking not had as big of an impact on the parents I think oh definitely I was just sitting sitting taking the role of the parent that had the teacher come in

16:00 after this you know I mean I'm almost I mean I'm not a big crier but I'm getting a little teary here I mean that that that is so impressive and you know what I think is so impressive is and with all the devastation and our tumultuous whether that's worldwide is that no one I don't think would first not first thought but down the line in your list of thoughts is to have tell your

16:31 four-year-old that their other four year old friends made it through you know I mean I mean I know we've got bigger issues at that time but that is such a minor but huge you know that would be my first thought as a person are my people my friends safe I mean certainly I'd want everyone to be but I want to check on my my closest and at for your school family is their closest I mean okay

17:04 that's brilliant I'm loving that okay so you go to the house you get all that cooking at the house and now we're at school okay so now what are we gonna do when they first show up right say my mind at that point okay I satisfied these immediate needs and so then I went to what am I gonna do when we get that how am I going to reestablish the safety and so like I said we were already doing

17:30 the safe keeper ritual hmm but I named from my personal children how and my personal issue he named experiences with anxiety that they most likely would experience more separation anxiety again you bet and said I wanted to include the parents in that safe keeper ritual and from a parent's perspective I also wanted to give them something - let them name I'm here and I am gonna keep your child safe because as a parent that's my immediate thought is my child

18:03 gonna be safe when they're not with me right and so I created necklaces for the kids and keychains for the parents that had the kids had pictures of their families and a heart on one side and the parents had a heart with a picture of their child on the other side and I gave them a letter when they came in that day that basically told them that the keychain signifies my commitment to you as a parent that I'm going to love your

18:31 child and cherish your child and take care of your child is that they were my own and I do love them as they're my own and they are safe with me and then it also has signified to the child that even though they were apart they were together in their hearts and I walked through the ritual of how they could do that when they came in at drop-off where the parent could place the necklace around the child and tell them I'm going

18:55 to work but you're safe and I'm in your heart Wow so what was the parent response or the child response did I wait was I mean it seems like there would be some kind of physical palatable feeling about this could you was it that strong or or how did they when they got did that ritual I'm sure the parents had to be touched deeply it wasn't it was even more than I think I realized the

19:25 impact of because in my mind I just wanted to create that safety for everyone yes and I didn't really kind of I don't know I guess I didn't think of how deep the impact would run and we cried together yeah we laughed together I feel like I've always been able to connect with parents but I feel like this year that level of connection is that much deeper because I put myself out there and allowed myself to be

19:54 vulnerable to them mm-hmm and they were able to see my true intentions oh yes you made you made your intentions very it seems to me very clear and and to take that intent and and so beautifully create a ritual around that knowing that rituals are so soothing even if we giggle through them even if we poopoo even if we cry through them it doesn't matter they are soothing and what I'm hearing

20:24 it that's so amazing to me is you took something that you've struggled with your own anxiety use conscious discipline as a tool for yourself and as using that tool with yourself gain insight into a very difficult devastating moment and put it to a phenomenal use so taking something that's been a struggle for you and using

20:56 it as a gift now that has got to feel good for you does it good yeah and I'm not saying that it's been easy no and my journey is no where ever with that it's something that I still struggle with Molly I mean even this morning I'm really working on bringing myself back to the present yes and I've realized that myself talking my head isn't negative self-talk as far as oh this is going to terrible but it's running

21:25 through every single scenario that could possibly happen and how everything is going to go because I feel like if it can go in those ways I'm safe right and say I've really worked on bringing myself back to the present okay stop that's a trigger for you breathe you were safe you can handle this and because I was able to give that gift to myself I was better able to give that gift to my children you bet and did it

21:51 so beautifully now Hillary you're four hours away and so you guys are the pilot folks you're the kind of chosen classrooms to to build fidelity and model sites so that you can then spread this like you've already done but start spreading it to the the schools around you and the teachers around you who are willing so there comes out of thing through the c-dac classrooms and of course I'm sure you already heard

22:21 because you live in Alabama there's a tornado so from four hours away what did you do with your children well our children came in anxious also because they've lived through that they know what that's like it's scary for them to hear about the devastation and all the grown-ups are talking about it so they came in also asking questions and wanting to know like what happens if it come you know if it comes here and what do we do and so we talked about that and

22:47 then we you know we have classroom jobs we've been doing wish you well and so miss Steph and I were thinking about it and we're like well let's expand this let's put it into use in the big world and so we said okay if there are people hurting even though we don't get to see them we can still wish them well if we hear about it and so we made a heart and we brainstormed ideas that we could do

23:16 in order to send them things wish them well I was thinking at first the kids would just want to make cards in color and then do that but they really surprised me with how thoughtful they were and they said things like we can let them use our school if they need one or we could send them the feeling buddy so they can say how they feel about the storms which was huge for me because we've been incorporating the feeling

23:44 buddies and so for them to realize it helps me to use them and now we can send them to someone else so they can have the power to say how they feel with them was just the big aha moment like you know it is getting through it is working and they are valuing the skill oh yes absolutely they're like thank you thank you and to realize like these kids have been through this massive event and they

24:11 could benefit from that and another kid said we could star breathe with them so that it will help them feel better we could send them chocolate that was one of them so we just started kind of thinking through it and it's snowballed from there and kids went back and we're like hey need you to bring lotion so I can make a bag for my friends at that we're affected by the tornado did you so you're sitting down with a group of

24:38 four-year-olds who could certainly relate because you live in a tornado alley ish way but it's still at 4 it that's a lot of empathy that's a lot of being able to see from someone else's point of view to kind of understand that this is helping me so it might help them and that was from children certainly with trauma and that was kids that was

25:09 the bulk of the room right it wasn't just like three little girls going I got an idea so it was everyone collectively working together and so now did you say go home and get these things um or did they collectively side we're going to ask how did that come about so it was one of the things that we had brainstormed and so they're like okay we're gonna go home and ask mom to get these to bring them back and so we

25:34 thought it was their idea to go get the stuff yeah so we just we bought ziplocs and then it snowballed like it wouldn't fit in a ziploc bag anymore so we had backpacks that we ended up getting and then we put everything in a backpack it was water bottles fruit roll-ups snacks they made wish you well cards they even made like a little video that we sent to them so they could see like hey we're here and we're thinking about you and

26:03 and they just started getting the parents involved and parents were messaging me what do you need we're going to help so they were buying supplies to send in and and then after they packed the bags themselves they made the cards they did the wishyou l's and then we drove them over there and dropped him off and so how was that received at your end so when the when these backpacks showed up what was the

26:34 reaction of your children on the other side it was amazing to see and and it was really beneficial because we had already been talking about safety bags using them and we'd already kind of been brainstorming ways to do that so we were able to take the bags with all of the materials and unpack them because we wanted to talk about it and then add some other things that would game in a safety bag such as whistles and

26:59 flashlights and things like that repack then allow allowing the kids to repack them and that was something tangible that they were able to take home and use to create that safety around the storm and then when they saw the wish well video that was probably the biggest reaction because they love making wish well videos that's one of the things when our kids are out they love doing the wish well so much that we send them the wish well video and so to

27:31 get a wish well video from someone they didn't even know they were over the moon yeah so so what an amazing story I mean that you started by being of service really how can I be safe and helpful the the bottom line of conscious discipline then you go out in your community you do the same thing how can we be helpful how

28:02 can we wish well and all these four-year-olds just push this forward with that genuine heart did y'all feel a genuineness out of those four-year-olds to want to be of service so you sandbags you you take the bags redo them and then they get to take a bag home to be of service to their family they did that and they all say that decided we really focus on helpfulness because like I mentioned before I think the biggest

28:32 impact for me helping others was being able to see the good in the devastation yes because it was so big and so overwhelming to take a step back and see how many people dropped everything that they were doing to be a service to our community to gain nothing but to be of service it wasn't for fame or anything like that and so that was one of the things we focused on when we talked about their feelings

28:59 about the tornados we were able to use the feeling buddies they couldn't necessarily express their feelings but they were able to take the feeling Betty and say mm I feel angry that people's houses were gone but I wanted to also incorporate the I feel happy that so many people are being helped by others and so they brainstormed ways that they saw in the community that people were being helpful and the things that they picked up on we're amazing and so we

29:30 talked about ways they could be helpful and that one of the ways is showing gratitude and they decided that they wanted to be able to show gratitude to all of these people and one of my little boys mentioned I like making videos on Facebook and so I said okay you know we'll figure out how to make a video and so they decided that they wanted to talk on the video about how they felt about the tornado and then they took a moment

29:56 to tell someone or a group of someone's thank you and then they decided as a group that they wanted to wish all of these people and all of the people in our own community well and say they did the wish well virtual at the end of the video and I posted it on Facebook for them and they were amazed it was a tangible way I think for them to see how such a small thing can snowball into

30:26 something huge the video went viral in a matter of minutes I mean I couldn't believe I don't ever post anything on Facebook and so I had no clue and being able to read them the comments that people had put on there kind of helped internalize that for them wow we might not be able to get out and you know physically give these people houses but we're able to impact people and just letting them know that we're thankful

30:52 and we can see the good in others has helped other people to see the good in others are you seeing the parallel you took something that was is difficult and and and we could say may be devastating for your life the struggle with anxiety you turned it around within yourself and and and use that to repel huge gifts so that the kids and the community and other schools and other kids in turn can take a

31:25 devastation of their own and turn it into a gift to one another that's a full-circle story that's inspiring certainly I'm so grateful that you were willing to both of you to share because we have people that are going through you know we have hurricanes we have fires we have so much with the weather that I don't think that many would go all the way down to the impact

31:55 so deeply on a four-year-old class a four-year-old mind and the power of pulling together all children all people of all ages to make a difference so thank you so much for sharing another amazing story and very inspiring and the profound ways we can be of service so what's Becky up to well I just returned from an excellent vacation in

32:27 Vancouver Canada and had the opportunity to camp out on Compton Island and do some whale watching and kayaking the most meaningful takeaway for me for the trip was how the First Nation people and those are but they call the Native Americans in Canada could build canoes and homes without hurting the trees you know so in my head I go in there with kind of my white view of the world and you have to chop down a tree you have to

32:55 do this etc etc well they managed to do it all without hurting a tree they would pull planks out of the big Douglas fir trees in such a way the tree would heal over and continue to grow and they never pull more planks that would hurt the tree they knew so deeply that they were all connected that that tree was just as much a part of them as their children then I contrasted that with my new

33:21 housing development in my hometown where they just stripped every bit of the trees and just mowed them all down and now they could have left some up because they were big trees they could have left some up and built around them but I'm sure that would have cost five or ten extra dollars to move the bulldozer around them and that amazed me those trees to them had no value at all it's not even part of our belief system just

33:51 mow them down and then we'll plant a little teeny bush out in the front so what struck me from this was how far we have come or how far we are lost depending on your views of that to me I think we're way off and we're lost so celebrations consciousness someone has partnered with reflective Sciences and this is a company in Minnesota they

34:22 have come up with a way to a measure the executive function of children I'm believing from starting age two all the way through adults and since conscious disciplines goal is to increase the executive skills to be safe enough connected enough to reach that elusive higher brain state so that they can develop we partnered with them and they're now have a mes app that's the Minnesota executive function assessment

34:55 app and the app will be we worked with them and we have suggestions of what consciousness of one can do depending on the score the child receives on their executive function test so hopefully that's going up I heard just tomorrow but we'll see so check on our website to see about our partnership with reflective sciences once you see if that's something you're interested in because we will have product assessments

35:28 for teachers schools and school districts and if that's something you're interested in with the interventions from us we will lead you to their website and you can gain the knowledge you need until next time I wish you well for more episodes of real talk with real teachers by dr. Becky Bailey visit consciousdiscipline.com forward slash podcasts you can also subscribe to this

35:58 podcast on itunes stitcher or your favorite podcast app