Transcript
0:00 We cannot encourage compliance in childhood and expect assertiveness in adulthood. Don't say another word. Your voice doesn't matter here because you're eight. That's why. What we're really saying to our kid isn't it's my job to hold boundaries. What we're really saying to our kid is your voice about what you want is dangerous. Your voice about what you want is wrong. Your job to stay safe is to quiet the voice inside yourself. Now, the other part of my job as a parent is to hold my boundaries. So, encouraging assertiveness in adulthood, that doesn't come from letting your kid get everything they want. No, that will encourage a lot of entitlement. That's not what we want. We want to tell our kids, "You're allowed to feel that way.
0:50 I believe you. That thing is real." Or even once in a while, it's cool. you know what you want and there are certain decisions that are mine to make and this is one of them. Now I'm actually leading my kids while I am really building that circuitry for self-rust, for confidence, and for trusting your own body, which is really what consent is all about.
Summary
- Compliance in childhood can lead to a suppression of a child's voice and feelings.
- Children are often taught that their desires are dangerous or wrong, which can affect their self-esteem.
- Assertiveness in adulthood is not achieved by giving children everything they want; it can lead to entitlement.
- Parents should validate their children's feelings and experiences, reinforcing that their emotions are real.
- It's important for parents to maintain boundaries while also allowing children to express their wants and needs.
- Building self-trust and confidence in children is crucial for understanding and practicing consent.
- Encouraging children to recognize their own desires while respecting parental decisions fosters healthy development.