Responding Vs. Reacting In Moments of Upset: How Can We Access Our Skills?

0:00 So if you look up here at the screen, you have the instructor that told you what you should do. We had the modeling showed you how how you should do it. And then down deep, we had what you actually experienced, what what what you actually do. Now, what happens when you're calm? We can pick these top ones out. When it's going my way, I can pull these out of my bag. when the kids it's going their way, they can pull those out of their bag. But when something creates conflict or upset, that's the ones you reach for. The old what's going to keep me safe, which is how did I distort myself as a young to stay safe? Okay. And so in conscious discipline, this is our model. We do indirect instruction a little bit. We do adult modeling for sure but we have that big blue in the middle which is uh responding. We are an adult first model that teach you the skills so you can respond to them differently but most importantly respond to yourself differently so you can respond to them differently and then become conscious of the lens you want to look through and if you want to use the old one fine but do it consciously. If you want to use a new one, do it consciously instead of it being driving force from within you that after it comes out of your mouth, you know, you're like, "Oh man, I could have done that differently. I