I’m (Politely) Begging You to Ignore These 6 Pieces of Advice Before It’s Too Late

0:00 Some life advice sounds good, but it can ruin your life. Every day you're inundated with advice. >> If I may be so bold as to offer some advice. >> No matter where you look, someone's busy telling you what to do. >> Buy this right now. >> Stop buying random stuff. >> Always wear shoes when you're in a thumbtack factory. >> I was a homeless teen in Mumbai, became a monk in training, somehow ended up at MIT, then on Wall Street, was a musician, eventually becoming a tech CEO, and I wish I had learned some of these lessons earlier.

0:35 Today, we will expose the hidden traps in six pieces of advice that every ambitious person will get. Because each one is only half true, we'll uncover that missing half before advice that sounds right leads you to a wrong decision. And the last one might be the hardest one to let go of. The first life advice you hear a lot, >> Never give up. >> give up. >> Never give up. >> Never. >> Never give up. But sometimes, that's exactly what you should do. Give up. A company called Tiny Speck released an online game called Glitch. In 2012, the CEO said, "We have to shut down the game." Because in a few months, they were going to burn through the remaining cash they had left, and all 40 employees were asked to give up on their dream.

1:30 But to build that game, the team had put together an internal tool to message each other, share files, and after Glitch died, that side project slowly became the main product of the company. We all know that company now. Slack. Salesforce bought Slack for almost $28 billion. Sometimes you give up on one thing and gain something far more valuable. Of course, we've all heard the opposite stories, right? People who kept marching forward when everybody told them to stop and then great success. So, which one is true? Both? Neither? The problem is that persistence and stubbornness look almost identical while you're inside them. Persistence wants you to continue when the destination still makes sense.

2:27 Stubbornness continues regardless. That's where your judgment comes into play. We've all had that job that drags you down or that relationship that feels like a burden. And how do you know what to do? You can apply what I call the three cost framework. First, the future cost. What would it take to make this current situation better? Do you know what needs to change? And is that change actually possible?

2:57 Second, the sunk cost. Are you staying because it is worth continuing or because you've already invested so much? Starting over is difficult, but difficulty and damage aren't the same thing. Leaving is more difficult, but staying may cause you more damage. Third, the opportunity cost. What are you giving up by staying? What else could you build with all that time and money and attention and your emotional energy?

3:34 Never give up is good advice when the struggle is worth it. Is terrible advice when staying in means giving up on something that matters more. Now, here's the second life advice that you should definitely ignore. >> Just look out for yourself. >> You have to rely on yourself. >> Look out for number one, kid, cuz no one else will. >> That advice is bad for you, your career, and your business. There were two friends in Los Angeles, two young actors. They were trying to make it in Hollywood, and they were so broke that they decided to share a bank account. So, when one of them got paid, it kept both of them going. I am talking about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, of course. Eventually, they wrote a phenomenal movie, Goodwill Hunting. They won the Oscar. Both of them became megastars. One played Jason Bourne, the other played Batman. I think today they can afford their own bank accounts.

4:35 But, this is the part we often miss. Some situations in life are zero-sum games. The 100-m race, a tennis match, a game of football, in all those situations, one person's win means another person's loss. But, life is not like that. You have to understand the game you're actually playing. Sure, if you interview and you don't get a job, someone else won.

5:08 You lost. But, if you stay in touch with the folks at the company and find ways to continue to help them, the relationships you build can create opportunities later, regardless. Your success becomes possible because some people decide to take a chance on you, invest in you, to grow you. Now, this doesn't mean that you should help someone while secretly keeping score and expecting the same from them, because that can turn any trusted relationship into a transaction. I learned a more painful version of this, when I was leaving for my first C-level job. I sat down with one of my VPs, and I told him that I was leaving, and I asked him, "What should I do differently in my next role?"

6:04 And he kind of looked straight, he paused, and suddenly he got teary-eyed, and he said, "You are going to be a great leader. I just wish you had invested more time in me." And man, that story still haunts me because he was right. I had been thinking so much about the leader I wanted to become in the future that I had missed becoming one in the present. I was busy showing off instead of really showing up. Next time you feel like you are competing against someone, >> >> step back and ask yourself, "Am I in a zero-sum game?" Others don't have to lose for you to win. Looking out for others can be one of the best ways to look out for yourself. Every millionaire, every celebrity, and every graduation speaker says the same thing.

7:14 >> There is no reason not to follow your heart. >> Follow your passion. >> Follow your passion. >> Follow your passion. >> You should ignore it. During World War II, a woman worked in an American intelligence unit, and she spent much of her career as an assistant, typing top secret memos for the military, and somehow she found her way to Paris. And out of sheer curiosity, she started attending French cooking classes.

7:46 That one accidental choice unlocked a passion that transformed her completely. Her name was Julia Child. Her cookbooks still inspire millions to this day. So, you see, the path to passion is not a straight line. Your dream job might involve something you haven't learned to love yet. How do you know you love something if you never done it before? So, start with something you're curious about, give yourself time to get better at it, and then see.

8:20 The second question here is equally intriguing. Can you actually make a living from your passion? You can love something and become exceptionally good at it, but that doesn't mean that enough people will pay you enough money to build your passion into a full-time job. Los Angeles is full of bartenders who come there to become actors and actresses. I'm sure Mumbai or New York City are no different. Some passions are just lottery tickets.

8:52 Unless you're super lucky, your passion alone can't be your business model. And the third and final question you should ask, will you still love it when your livelihood depends on it? You know, when I started this channel, this was the first point in my first ever video that I made. Because I had lived it. I was a musician for years, but trying to make a living was always incredibly stressful. When my passion had to be the main source of my income, it literally changed my relationship with it. Now, that happened to me. Your case and your story might be totally different. But before you give up on your banking job to start baking, answer those three questions. First, actually do the work for a long time or long enough to see whether you can actually become good at it.

9:51 Second, ask someone earning a living in that field what it actually takes to make the numbers work. And third, see if you want to do it again and again when your livelihood depends on it. And that is the missing half of that generic advice. Some passions may become your living and some may make your life worth living. And by the way, if you enjoy ideas like these, please subscribe to my free newsletter every Tuesday. One insight, one tool, one practice.

10:25 I love writing it. All right. The next advice we want to ignore is the one you've heard a million times. >> Do you think money buys happiness? >> Absolutely not. >> money >> can't buy Money can't buy >> Money can't buy happiness. >> I think money can change your life. The question is, do you know what you need to change? When I was younger, back in Mumbai, India, my dad was very good at losing money.

10:56 He lost all his money so quickly and I had gotten into a university in the US. It was a full scholarship program, but I didn't have enough money to buy even the airline ticket. I couldn't afford it and neither could my dad. I remember him feeling helpless and defeated. He went door-to-door >> >> to his neighbors and begged and borrowed money from all of them for me.

11:31 Mhm. And yeah, I bought a one-way ticket from Bombay to Boston. That changed my life forever. Money is the difference between feeling trapped and having a choice. It's not about wanting more, it's about needing less. So then, why do people keep saying money can't buy happiness? Because that's true, too. In a way. We all know people who have plenty of money and they're still miserable. But that doesn't mean money did nothing for them.

12:09 It just means that something else is still missing in their lives. Ask a key question. What do you want the money to change? If the answer is debt or safety or freedom or time with your loved ones, then yes, money can be very good at that. But if you feel like you need more money so you can buy a fancy car, for example, just remember what the Beatles said. Money can't buy you love.

12:39 And by the way, you can find this video podcast also on Spotify now. You can watch it or you can listen to it on your commute or your walk. So, I'll see you there, too. Now, speaking of love, let's go to our next pointless advice. >> Some proven techniques to attract your soulmate. >> There's your soulmate. >> Find your soulmate. >> You can always find the right person. But that does not mean you'll learn how to love them.

13:06 A soulmate is easy to dream about, but a roommate is very hard to deal with. And all soulmates have to eventually become your roommates. I remember when I met the woman who I fell in love with, we spent years together before getting married. And we used to work on how to handle disagreements. A couple can learn a lot about a relationship from how they repair it. And she was better at all of it than I was.

13:43 Today, she's still my best friend. And also, still my wife, by the way. Just to be clear. But your partner, whether you found them at the soulmate store or not, cannot read your mind. They won't always know when you need your space and when you need a hug. They won't know when you want a solution and when you just need to talk. They'll get it wrong, and so will you.

14:14 That doesn't automatically mean you chose the wrong person. That's the missing half. If you go looking for someone who's able to check every single box on your long list, who would never argue with you, and would love you unconditionally forever, well, that person does not exist. Choose someone who'll help you become a better human being. And pay attention to what they're becoming, too. Because both of you are changing every day.

14:46 Now, the last piece of advice might be the hardest one to let go of. >> You are who you are. >> People don't change cuz you are >> who you are. >> We all change so much. What makes you think we're done? I was a homeless teen, a monk in training, a world-traveling musician. I was a mathematician, went to MIT, became an investment banker on Wall Street, a CEO. Now I'm a board member, investor, mentor, and I'm still adjusting to this, this new creator version of me. Now, which of those identities felt like it was me?

15:27 All of them and none of them. Every version of you feels permanent from the inside until it changes. There was a study published in Nature Medicine in 2021 and it showed that every second roughly 4 million cells in your body die and are replaced. And you don't feel a thing. But it's always and it is forever morphing. And in today's day and age that idea of morphing identity matters more than ever because AI is changing the very idea of our work, our worth, how we think, how we learn, create, communicate, and even who we turn to when we're lonely and confused.

16:22 Pew Research found that one in five American adults under 30 already use AI chatbots for emotional support and companionship. This is not some software upgrade happening outside of us. The arrival of AI means that we're asked to constantly upgrade our internal software. The one that lives right here. There is an old story about a traveler who reaches a dangerous river and he wants to cross it. So, he builds a raft all by himself and he crosses the river.

17:04 Then he's about to walk away and he looks back at the raft and he thinks, man, this raft was so incredibly useful to me. >> >> So, he lifts it onto his shoulders and starts walking. But the very thing that helped him before now makes the rest of his journey way harder. And that's what we do with our own past. We cling to it. We keep carrying what once carried us.

17:35 Sure, you can be grateful for your past. But it's not a weight that you have to carry. You can put it down. Because you don't know all the people you are capable of becoming. Thank you. And I love you.