Help, I’m a Teen Dad! Becoming a Father at 17 | Dad University

0:00 being a team dad is not an easy situation you might be feeling scared and stressed that your life is about to change those questions of what do I do how am I going to handle this might be coming up more frequently in this video we're talking about specific things that you can do to get ready to be a teen dad how can you prepare yourself and be a great father to your child hey guys I'm Jason crimen and welcome to another

0:31 episode of dad university be sure to give this video a thumbs up subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell so you know when our videos are uploaded also it really helps us spread our message when you share these videos so maybe you know a couple people that might enjoy it please share with them this video isn't about what you could have done or what you should have done you're a teenager and you're going to be a dad so let's focus on

0:57 moving forward now I have some suggestions on how I think you can move forward but ultimately the decision is up to you I do want to establish that there are some assumptions that I'm going to make before we get to the advice one you are 100% certain that you are the father if you are not 100% certain then you are going to want to get a DNA test done to make sure and then number two the mom or yourself and the mom have

1:26 decided to move forward with the pregnancy and have the child if you have not had that discussion you're going to want to have that discussion first and decide what is going to happen now that we've got the assumptions out of the way let's get to the teen father advice number one be there this is your child 50% of the child's DNA is yours and the responsibility of taking care of the child is not the mom's it is both of

1:56 your responsibilities to many dads especially teen dads leave the raising of the child up to the mom and you can't do this your child will benefit so much from you being there be there for the pregnancy be there for the birth and be there equally to the mother when raising the child yes this is unknown it's scary it's daunting to think about what's ahead but if you take the focus off of yourself and put your focus on

2:26 the child because of how much they will benefit from you being there it will be less overwhelming if by chance the mother does not want you to be a part of the child's life do not accept it you need to fight for your right to be in your child's life again 50% of the child's DNA is yours now this brings us to another piece of advice for teen dads number two get along with the child's mom if you're in a relationship with the

2:56 child's mother great continue to work at having a good relationship support her through the pregnancy and if times get tough just remember to get along with her for the sake of the child if you're not in a relationship with the child's mother it's still important that you get along with her getting along with your child's mother is better for the well-being of the child and it provides more likely assurance that you will have access to your child well it depends

3:25 where you live she typically doesn't have a legal right to keep you from being with your child but it does happen you know especially if the two of you are not getting along so remember to get along with the child's mother for the child's sake number three be empathetic now I just talked about getting along with the mom the easiest way to do that is to be empathetic and being empathetic means that you're putting yourself in

3:54 the place of somebody else so you're looking at the situation and feeling the situation from her perspective imagine being a teen mom just the physical aspects of what you have to go through you are carrying another human being in your body she gets to deal with morning sickness weight gain and the delivery of the child not to mention all of the other things that go along with it I'm not taking away from the difficulty that this may be for you

4:26 but if you look at it from her perspective it's a little bit more difficult to be a teen mom if you see things from her perspective you are going to probably feel a little bit better about what you are going through you know as a team dad you're worried about how am I gonna handle this how is my life going to change and all of the other things happening and that's totally normal but if you can be

4:49 empathetic and look at it from her perspective you will have a better experience number four use it as motivation instead of thinking that life is over as you know it or that this is somehow a negative thing you get to choose how this affects you choose to use it as motivation things in life happen for a reason sometimes when we're going through it we don't really understand why but then years later we can look back and realize why things

5:19 happened the way that they did do you need to finish school you might be a team father in high school and this can help motivate you to graduate maybe you'll continue on and further your education or you need to get a job or maybe a better paying job use this to improve your financial situation yes children are expensive but you are going to be there to support your child it actually doesn't matter how old you are

5:46 when you become a father you start to look at your current situation you know you look at your job and your finances and your time these are all things that we start to analyze so use this situation as motivation use it to move yourself forward and get ready for that baby number five stop wasting time as a team with a child on the way you have to make some serious decisions and those decisions are going to affect you your

6:16 child and the mother of your child now you're watching this video so I'm hoping that you really want to be there and if so you've got to stop wasting time I know when you're a teen all you really want to do is just you know hang out with your friends and have a good time the difficulty with that is that it doesn't provide you any income education or improve your situation in any way you have to start now before the

6:44 baby comes instead of partying playing video games or hanging out you've got to work extra hours so that you can save money you've got to study more so that you can get through school you've got to do whatever it is that you need to do to have a better future for you and your child number six establish a support network even if you're not a team dad having people around you is very beneficial so if you're a teen dad you're going to

7:12 want to have a support network around you and you want to do this before the baby comes so get people and things in place prior to the baby coming so that you don't have to deal with it once the baby's here you might need to arrange something special with your school so that you can go to classes and still work there are schools that offer daycare so that teens with children can still go to school you're going to want to look for these

7:39 kinds of resources to help you if you do have family around that's great look to your family to try to help you but whether you have family or you don't look into local resources that can help you this could be religious organizations or city or government assistance and programs you want to know what is available and establish that prior to the baby arriving when you're in the thick of it and you're taking care of your child or dealing with mom

8:08 it's just a lot to deal with so if you can do that before the baby arrives you're gonna be that much farther ahead regardless if you have help or not I want to tell you that you're going to be okay being a teen dad is a new chapter in your life think of it as a new beginning and you get to decide how you want to be what kind of father do you want to be your child deserves a great

8:35 father and you can be that great father for your child I would love to hear from you are you at dad is there anything specific that you're struggling with leave your questions and feedback in the comments section below if you found this video helpful you don't want to miss what we have for you in our other videos be sure to give this video a thumbs up subscribe to the channel and click on that notification valve also if you know

9:00 anybody that might enjoy this video please share it with them we'll see you next time [Music]