Transcript
0:00 All right, so this mom's back talk question literally stopped me in my tracks. So, let's discuss. What it sounds like is that this mom is getting loud as she corrects her daughter's tone while then asking and expecting her daughter not to get loud back. So, the two are stuck in the same pattern. And what I want to offer this mom and all the parents who can relate is that your seven-year-old is not trying to be rude or disrespectful. They're simply trying to tell you that something about the morning routine feels very overwhelming to them and they need help figuring that out and they don't know how to say it in a better way. So instead of criticizing her tone, calling her disrespectful or rude, I want you to try slowing down in the moment and saying, "Okay, we're having a hard time right now. Something about this routine feels very overwhelming. Any ideas of what would help?" And so that right there, you're moving from criticizing to going into problem solving.
Summary
- Parents often react to children's loudness with criticism, which can escalate tensions.
- Children, like the seven-year-old in this scenario, may express overwhelm rather than rudeness.
- Acknowledging the child's feelings can foster better communication.
- Instead of labeling behavior as disrespectful, parents should seek to understand the underlying issues.
- Encouraging problem-solving together can help alleviate the child's stress.
- Slowing down during conflicts allows for more constructive conversations.
- This approach promotes a supportive environment for children to express their needs.