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Your Child Is Not Here To Fulfill Your Expectations

Dr. Shefali · 1m · transcribed May 2026
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Transcript

0:00 culture tells me go ahead one person you can put your expectations on is your child yes in fact you should be you're expected to have expectations right yes so now if my child is not going to fulfill my expectations I'm going to panic makes me want to cry because I did that but you helped me to see that that's what I was doing I had one of my girls in a school and she was having difficulties and she

0:26 really didn't like the school I realized that I had talked her into going to that school and I and I had to actually say to her I when I was your age wanted to go to that school and I couldn't go to that school and so I put my hopes and my dreams on you and that was wrong this is where all projection all dysfunction all conflict and relationships come from from the parent putting on to the child something

0:56 from way back way back that is a slivered sense of their self an incomplete part of them that we just automatically assume the child will want but you because you had a moment of awareness and your ego was reigned in you and maybe it was me absolutely we just set her on the wrong path foreign

Summary

The speaker reflects on the pressures parents place on their children by projecting their own unfulfilled dreams and expectations onto them. This realization leads to a deeper understanding of the dysfunction that can arise in parent-child relationships when expectations are misaligned.

- Parents often feel entitled to project their expectations onto their children.
- The speaker shares a personal experience of pressuring their child into a school that the child disliked.
- Recognizing this behavior is crucial for healthy parent-child dynamics.
- Many conflicts arise from parents imposing their unfulfilled desires on their children.
- Awareness and self-reflection can help parents avoid repeating these patterns.
- The importance of allowing children to pursue their own paths is emphasized.
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