How to Be a Good Father To a Son | Dad University

0:00 some men have great role models as fathers and then others want to make sure they are completely different than the fathers they had I was really lucky with my father and now that I have a son I get to pass down to my son what my father was able to pass down to me in this video we are going over how to be a good father to a son what are the attributes that make a good father is

0:24 there really a road map I think there is [Music] hey guys I'm Jason Craven and welcome to another episode of dad University be sure to give this video a thumbs up subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell also it really helps us spread our message when you share these videos so maybe you know a couple people that might enjoy it please share it with them everyone may have a little bit different definition of what

0:54 makes a good father to a son you're different than your father and your son is different than you and just because you had a father that was a certain way doesn't mean that you need to be that way or that you will be that way with your son that's one of the cool things about being a father you get to decide what kind of father you want to be so I put together seven things that I believe

1:20 are really important in being a good father to a son number one be present being a good father to a son means that you are there now you're watching a video about being good father so you're probably already there or you're on your way but I want to emphasize this idea of being present it means not only being physically present but being mentally present as well being mentally present means that your attention is focused put that phone down when you're trying to

1:51 have that quality time that one-on-one time together is so valuable create those memories and you can only create those memories when you are present he will remember those times keep in mind how important or presences in your son's life so much of how he views this world is going to be impacted by what you say and what you do you have such a huge impact in his life number two give him affection affection isn't just for moms

2:23 good fathers provide physical affection to their sons you know saying I love you is great but your son gets tremendous benefits from your physical affection it helps create the bond between the two of you it provides some security and it contributes to his overall well-being and brain development affection means hugs kisses putting your arm around them dad seemed pretty comfortable and carrying their sons and holding their hand but as the child gets a little bit

2:55 older many dads are uncomfortable with that physical affection whether they think it reflects negatively on their masculinity or what meanwhile it doesn't provide your child physical affection and even as they grow continue to provide that affection you may not have been provided affection from your own father you might feel uncomfortable doing it but it doesn't matter what the reason be affectionate with your son for his benefit you'll benefit from it as well but if you need a good reason just

3:27 know that you will assist in his development it is good for him number three let him do things for himself this is my observation but it seems that so many dads do too much for their sons and I think it starts when they're very little you know the child is old enough to walk but the dad will still carry the child where the child is old enough to go to school and have a backpack but the

3:53 dad is still carrying their backpack and it continues is maybe the child has a problem with their teacher in class and the dad is the one who then talks to the teacher instead let the child handle a lot of things on their own your intention may be good but the end result is not remember we are our son's coach our job as a good father is to teach him the ways of the world so that he can do

4:23 things himself so when were in those situations instead of solving his problems answering his questions doing those things for him we want to think of ways that we can teach them so that he can then do those things for himself this is from the time he walks to cleaning to school work and Beyond and everything in between it's not that we aren't there for support but he has to learn to do these things for himself he's gonna learn from his

4:54 mistakes he's gonna be able to overcome obstacles and if you want to raise a self sufficient confident capable son then he has to be able to do these things himself trust that he can do it number four be good to his mom whether you are with his mom or not how you treat her is really important to being a good father to a son he is watching he is listening and he is learning and a

5:25 lot of how he sees and treats women will be shaped by how you treat her so be good Turner this means don't make jokes at her expense or criticize her or disrespect her in any way especially while he is present well it's never good to do that but when you have little eyes and ears on you at all times you're not just affecting the person that you intended you're also affecting your son if you are not in a relationship with

5:55 his mom it doesn't matter the same rules apply do not talk bad about her it doesn't help him in any way I know it can be really hard when there's deep emotions evolved but when those kinds of situations come up think about his emotional well-being and how it doesn't benefit him at all by hearing negative things about his mother try to be positive or don't say anything at all it doesn't help him in any way

6:25 number five emotions are okay men are taught from a really young age that somehow showing emotion is a sign of weakness you know boys don't cry emotions are perfectly fine in fact they're good for you so telling boys that they should not show emotion is not something that we should be doing we should tell them that it's okay now we should also be managing those emotions so we want to be able to have them we want to be able to feel them and then be

6:55 able to get through it you know this is something that takes practice but in order to be able to learn how to do that you have to feel the emotion we want our sons to feel emotions being sad happy angry fearful those are all real emotions that they should feel you know pushing them down or being scared to have emotion or hiding them or even having too much of them yes those things can be problematic I think good fathers

7:24 encourage their sons to feel emotions and then teach them how to work through them remember in order to teach something you should be able to do that yourself so if you are having difficulty with your own emotions you're gonna want to work on that first number six manners matter I'm not sure where or when it became socially acceptable for our sons to be disrespectful or gross or disgusting but we could try to curb that behavior manners do matter you know that saying

7:57 boys will be boys that just doesn't work anymore good fathers teach their sons to say please and thank you and open doors for people and be polite it's about how you treat other people it's about what you say and how you say it these are all things that we need to be teaching our sons and you know the primary way that we do that is by leading by example I said before that your son is watching

8:24 how you treat his mom you better believe that he sees in here is how you treat everybody from the waiter at the restaurant to your neighbor to your other family members he is listening and watching and he's soaking it all in and a lot of how he will interact with this world is established by you number seven unconditional love if you're not familiar with unconditional love it's basically loving your son no matter what he does or what he becomes he doesn't

8:55 have to win in order for you to love him he doesn't have to get good grades in order for you to love him and he certainly doesn't have to make a lot of money in order for you to love him you love him because he is your son and you love him the way that he is love the child you have not the one you want you know we as fathers often show our love when our son accomplishes something

9:17 but his security and the true value of our relationship is showing that love for no reason he doesn't need to accomplish something he doesn't need to win he just is your son and he is the way that he is and that's why you love him unconditional love is allowing your son to find his path not going down the path that you want he might have different interests than yours he might have different desires than yours it

9:45 doesn't matter love him unconditionally being a good father to his son does take a lot of effort and for many of us this stuff may not come naturally it may take a lot of work for us to achieve this but you have to decide what is the outcome that you want do you want to have a great relationship with your son do you want him to be a good human being and a contributing member of society a lot of

10:13 his foundation is up to you you have the ability to greatly impact another human being so be a good father your son deserves it I would love to hear from you what does being a good father to a son mean to you leave your feedback in the comment section below if you found this video helpful you don't want to miss what we have for you in our other videos be sure to give this video a thumbs up subscribe to the channel and

10:40 click on that notification bell also if you know anybody that might enjoy this video please share with them we'll see you next time