Transcript
0:00 So, what do you do when your 4-year-old turns to Grandma and says, "I'm going to kill you"? Well, I witnessed this exact scenario while on a nature walk last week. Um this little boy, maybe four or five, he was so excited, he was playful, he was full of energy, and unfortunately, after he muttered those words, I watched the whole family kind of fall apart. Uh Mom panicked, Grandma was concerned and shocked, and the little boy, unfortunately, got shut down and strapped up in his stroller. This moment has stuck with me because what I don't think this mom or grandma realized is that at this age, four or five, kids don't understand what the word kill means. So, to say, "I'm going to kill you" while he's playing, it doesn't have that same emotional weight than, let's say, if he seriously turned to Grandma at age 14 and said the same thing, right? At this age, kids are often mimicking what they pick up at the playground or in a cartoon, and they're trying it on to see how it fits. And so, what would I have done if this were my son is I would have said, "Wow, or kill, that's a big word. Do you know what that word means? What does it mean to kill someone?" And I would have kind of tested his understanding and filled in those gaps as best as I could, and then I would have redirected his language. I think he's just trying to play with Grandma, but you can say, "I'm going to get you, Grandma."
Summary
- Children around ages four or five do not fully grasp the meaning of words like "kill."
- The boy's statement likely stemmed from playful mimicry rather than malicious intent.
- Adult reactions can inadvertently shut down a child's expression and curiosity.
- Instead of panicking, adults should engage with the child to explore their understanding of language.
- Redirecting the child's language to something playful, like "I'm going to get you," can maintain the fun without fear.
- Encouraging open dialogue helps children learn appropriate ways to express themselves.