# 3 Ways to Reduce Conflict

**Creator:** Dr. Shefali
**Platform:** youtube
**Duration:** 1m
**Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXMaxdbncTM

## Summary

To resolve relationship conflicts, focus on deep listening and personal ownership of feelings. By understanding your own emotions and those of your partner, you can foster better communication and empathy, leading to healthier interactions.

- Deeply listen to yourself to identify and process your feelings before addressing conflicts.
- Practice deep listening to your partner, seeking to understand their underlying emotions and needs.
- Make conflicts personal by expressing how specific actions affect you, rather than blaming or accusing.
- Recognize that your partner's issues are about them, not you; avoid taking things personally.
- Lean into understanding your partner's perspective to foster connection and empathy.
- Implementing these principles can lead to significant improvements in relationship dynamics.

## Transcript

[[0:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXMaxdbncTM&t=0s)
follow these three principles and your relationship conflicts will begin to disappear number one listen deeply oh my goodness there's nothing more important for communication than deep listening first deeply listen to yourself go deep within yourself and ask what is bothering me right now what's really going on what am I really feeling sit with it process it and then speak in the same tone listen deeply to them

[[0:32]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXMaxdbncTM&t=32s)
ask yourself what is really going on with them what are they trying to express go beneath the words go underneath the surface always number two make it about you what that means is if they are not doing the dishes for example don't just yell scream accuse and judge them for not doing the dishes make it personal what about them not doing the dishes is so problematic for you and own it take ownership of how it's bothering you personally and in the

[[1:04]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXMaxdbncTM&t=64s)
same vein when they are talking about their issue understand that it's not about you it's about them so make it about them don't take it personally they may ask you for something and you may not want to do it but if you understand why it's important for them maybe you will lean in closer follow these principles and watch the changes it makes in your relationship