First Time Father Advice – Be Sure To Do These 9 Things | Dad University

0:00 being a first-time father is an exciting time all this father stuff is new you may not even know what you're getting yourself into but I can tell you the experience of being a father is like nothing else the feeling you have when you hold your child for the first time is it's so special sure you are nervous you are excited you've got all kinds of emotions happening what you also have is a new chapter in your life you are

0:30 walking through a one-way door and hopefully you are walking through that door with a smile on your face in this video we are going over first-time father advice I'm gonna share with you nine things that you're gonna want to make sure you do as a first-time father [Music] hey guys I'm Jason Kreitman and welcome to another episode of dad University be sure to give this video a thumbs up subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell

1:01 also it really helps us spread our message when you share these videos so maybe you know a couple people that might enjoy it please share it with them the first time father advice I want to share with you is a combination of things that I wish I would have known when I became a father as well as some things that I did do all of these are really important hopefully this advice is valuable for you number one be affectionate now for

1:27 some of you being affectionate with your child is not an issue but for so many men we fail to realize how little affection we are actually giving our child now I know it varies culture to culture and there's different customs but being affectionate with your child is so beneficial to them it improves their well-being it actually increases their brain development and it strengthens the bond between you and them it has so many benefits

1:57 this means hugs and kisses and doing it often you're not going to provide too much affection to your child you are positively impacting their health you are helping them now I know that there are cultures in which fathers traditionally don't prove that much affection but I beg you to challenge those stereotypes and those traditions of the past and provide that necessary affection to your child number two express gratitude when your

2:28 baby is crying and keeping you up in the middle of the night a great way to keep your sanity is to express gratitude as a first-time father you want to be thankful for that baby a healthy baby talk to yourself over and over again about how grateful you are you will have to remind yourself of how lucky you are at 2:00 in the morning I say this half jokingly but it's true that we have a choice on how we see the world and the

2:59 situations that we are in we could get really upset at the fact that we haven't had a good night's sleep in a couple of days or we could be grateful for the fact that we get to spend time with this baby and that we have this new child that choice is yours it's important for first-time fathers to express gratitude towards their partners as well simply say hey thank you you know I know you've put so much time and effort towards this

3:26 baby and I just wanted to say thank you when you fill your mind with gratitude there's just not room for negative stuff you know I've always believed that gratitude is the antidote for depression so when you fill your brain and you fill your thoughts with gratitude like I said there's just not enough room for the negative thoughts number 3 spend one-on-one time family time is great when you're a first-time father but my advice is to spend that one-on-one time

3:57 together I remember when my son was first born I was working long hours and so my time with him was fairly limited and the truth I was kind of uncomfortable being left alone with him because I had never been around babies before this was my own son and I had no idea what I was doing whether it was changing diapers bath time or just my wife leaving the house for stretches at a time I got comfortable with being one on

4:27 with my son and so I began to really have a chance to bond with him and spend that one-on-one time together I'm pretty sure that my wife would just leave the house just so that I would spend the one-on-one time together but it worked I really got a chance to enjoy it for many first-time fathers you may already have a good amount of one-on-one time and if you do that's awesome but if you don't you're going to want to do it it's going

4:54 to benefit you and your partner will probably appreciate it number four be empathetic towards your partner if you watch this channel regularly you know that I add empathy to almost every video and I do that because it is so important and valuable and as a first-time father you're going through all kinds of stuff your emotions you've got increased obligations and responsibilities and everything else sometimes it's hard to remember that your partner is also going

5:26 through their own stuff you know being empathetic means that you put yourself in the other person's shoes and you're looking at a situation from their perspective and feeling it so put yourself in the place of your partner and if they're having a difficult time or maybe struggling with something simply just say you know I can see that that's really difficult and I can imagine that that's overwhelming being empathetic towards your partner lets them know that you are listening and

5:54 that you're there for them you don't have to solve every one of their problems just let them know that you understand what they are feeling and going through it is so powerful in relationships when we can be empathetic oftentimes we just want to be heard we just want to be listened to and so you can do that for your partner number five don't take things personally your baby is going to cry you're gonna pick up your baby and your baby will cry

6:25 you're going to be giving your baby a bath and your baby will cry and then there's gonna be some time or many times where your baby's gonna cry and wants mom and mom stops the baby from crying we fathers do have a tendency to take things personally you know maybe if mom does spend more time with the baby then maybe the baby does prefer mom but that will change as you spend more time with your child but you can't take it

6:56 personally your baby is not out to get you they're just looking to do what they're comfortable with I remember with our first child our son he definitely preferred mom in the beginning but she spent more time with him and was breastfeeding and yeah I did take it personally I admit I mean I'd be holding the child and he would want to go back to mom so my advice to you here is to not take things personally even when

7:24 sometimes they feel like they are number six take care of yourself sometimes we get so wrapped up with what's going on with the baby that we neglect ourselves but it's important for first-time fathers to self care so that we can be available for our partners and our child you are important well you may not get all of the sleep you desire you may not have a choice you do have the choice of what you eat and how much you exercise

7:53 and this is a time that is perfect for excuses I don't have the time I don't have the energy whatever taking care of yourself is important for you and your family but most importantly your sanity in addition to you know what you eat or maybe how you exercise it's also important that you do things that you enjoy now of course you have to manage your time well and coordinate that with your partner but it's important for you to do things that you

8:22 enjoy whether it's a hobby or it's hanging out with friends or or anything else that you enjoy now of course you can't be neglectful of your family and you can't neglect your responsibilities but it's okay for you to have something that you enjoy the same way that it's really important for her to have something that she enjoys if you're wanting to do things for yourself then you're gonna probably want to do number seven create a schedule so carve out

8:51 some specific time that's agreeable to both you and give yourself time to do what you want to do now in the beginning the time is probably going to be limited but it's important that you both have the ability to carve out that individual time taking breaks is going to be important for both of you my advice for first-time fathers is to write the schedule down you know you are in charge of these meals and these responsibilities during this time she's

9:20 responsible for this at this time and then you both have your individual times it makes things agreeable and predictable now I'm not saying that the schedule is going to be perfect and that you won't deviate from it remember you do have a newborn but it is good to have a guide babies do well on schedules to feeding sleeping napping all of that seems to go a little bit smoother when you're on a regular schedule no schedule

9:49 is perfect but it is good to figure out what works for you and your family it may take some trial and error but you've got time see what works best for you number eight be okay with mistakes you are a first-time father you are going to make mistakes we all do be okay with your mistakes and learn from them try not to make the same mistake too many times and try not to make too big of

10:19 mistakes but you will and it's gonna be okay be easy on yourself don't get mad at yourself or frustrated because you did something wrong or made a mistake making mistakes is part of parenting how are you supposed to know what to do all the time well other than watching Dad University videos but there is no such thing as perfect parenting we all make a ton of mistakes the learning as a parent doesn't stop it's a lifetime of learning

10:49 that continues forever we have a lot of videos to make just promise that you'll put in the effort and that you will work hard as a parent and you will be awesome number nine enjoy the present when my son was born I remember thinking all the time about the future all I can't wait until he talks or oh it's gonna be so cool when he can walk and we can walk together thinking about the future is fine but what I realized

11:19 is that all that thinking about the things that were going to happen kind of took me away from enjoying the present moment as much as I could as the first-time father we often want to celebrate milestones my advice to you here is to enjoy the journey to get to those milestones and the way that you do that is by enjoying the present moment you know people always say that time goes by so fast and I didn't believe it

11:46 until time went by so fast and now that my kids are a little bit older I can tell you the time goes by very very quickly so enjoy the present moment I would love to hear from you are you a first-time father let me know which piece of advice really resonated with you what's something that you can go and implement right now leave your feedback in the comment section below if you found this video helpful you don't

12:12 want to miss what we have for you in our other videos be sure to give this video a thumbs up subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell also if you know a couple people that might enjoy this video please share it with them we'll see you next time [Music] [Applause] [Music]