Jagriti #10 Reflection - 27th Feb 2026

3:30 Okay, good morning, good evening, good afternoon, whatever way you are feeling right now. Let's start. Oh, it's 8:30. Sorry, I got late today. I didn't realize also. Good evening. >> Yeah, good evening. Good evening.

4:02 Okay. Okay. We have a small group today. It's okay. Uh, right. So we are talking about reflection today.

4:44 Okay. So I want to start somewhere um somewhere else. Not not um not where we should be starting but somewhere else. uh so uh I want to ask you that we I'm assuming everybody understand what is the meaning of reflection so I'm not getting into that and whatever is the meaning of reflection I'm not talking about the light reflection I'm talking about our mind reflectioning um so I want you to think what could be the craziest reasons to reflect Yeah, don't tell me those nice nice nice nice reasons, right? Tell me the craziest reasons coming to your mind that we should we could reflect on. So I'm starting with the question why reflection? Why should we do reflection?

5:41 Why even a session on reflection? Okay, so more importantly, why should we do reflection? Come up with the craziest, wackiest, whatever. Right? So come up with the yeah the shikiist the rishmaist the vibutiist reasons for for reflection and so on whoever I I just took the took the name of people on in my view. So others you can you can think that way same way consist can kupriist reasons go ahead whatever is coming to your mind what could be the craziest reason to reflect people think reflection is serious man I'm reflecting back on my whatever whatever so we thought we'll start with some craziness yes everybody unplug your not unplug sorry unmute your mic and let's roll.

6:43 Let's come up. Let's fill this slide up. I've got a blank slide all throughout. >> Is it is it that I'm not able to hear or is it that you guys are not speaking? First reason would be when we made a mistake. No, >> no, but why reflect over mistakes? So you you we you're still trying to say what do we reflect on, right? Like let's say mistakes. I'm not talking about what I'm starting with why we should reflect or we could reflect not should why could we reflect? What could be the possible craziest funniest wackiest reasons to reflect?

7:41 If someone is doing something uh which is which comes in uh common sense then we you know reflect very fastly very fast actually what I feel >> yeah yeah but I'm not asking when you reflect or how at what speed you reflect I am asking why it all reflect and I'm sure you have your reasons. I'm saying don't give me your normal logical nice very you know educated reasons. Give me the most uh craziest wackiest uh funniest reasons to reflect. You say you should reflect so that dot dot dot >> it tells us what not to do not to Maybe to stop tripping myself from falling.

8:38 >> Yeah. >> Our stop tripping to stop tripping from myself. Like literally I would be tripping on my own feet. So maybe to stop tripping from myself. I would reflect on how I'm walking. >> Okay. >> Okay. Trip on my to stop from tripping. Why stop? to trip on myself should be the reason now. No, you want to stop tripping you.

9:09 Okay, I will write to stop or not stop >> clipping on myself. I think you guys are still very serious. Come on. Come on. Come on. Un unserious yourself. What could be the craziest reason for you to reflect >> to have a reason uh to eat ice cream?

9:50 >> Ah this is good. So, so, so the reason to reflect is to somehow end up eating end up eating ice cream. I think this is the best reason eating. Yeah. Why is it not typing? Okay. Yeah, this is good. Let's let's start. Um, this is this is nice. I like this. Right. Yeah. Give me reasons like this. Ice cream reasons.

10:22 Yeah, to reward ourself. >> To reward ourselves. That still doesn't sound so crazy, but okay, I will write it. Okay. To reward ourselves. Yeah. But that still looks like a very very nice logical reason to reflect. >> Just want attention. Okay. So one more is like uh so at the end of the week suppose when we are doing reflection so like should we have a dance party at night or should we have a sorrow party at night >> you >> something like how the week went or how did we do >> okay to have a party now isn't that good enough what party you have you decide to have a party >> yes others all the serious People at 8 10 IST, please tell me the wackiest, craziest reason to reflect >> to act childish or or something like uh uh like if you want to go and jump in the rain or if you want to go and jump in the mud or something.

11:48 >> But something is stopping you. So you reflect and you do it. >> So act childish instead of overinking. >> Okay, that's still not >> okay. >> So you're saying to be able to do to be able to do something wacky. Okay. Yeah, sorry. Somebody was saying >> yeah sure you go >> just to have a good laugh. So the point is when you're reflecting >> when you're reflecting you whatever you say you have to laugh after whatever you say even if it is anything. Yeah, >> that's still more about okay. So to laugh is good enough a reason. How whether we laugh at the end, laugh at the beginning whatever but why am I reflecting or so that I can laugh.

12:52 >> Okay, that's a good thing. >> I like the ice cream. I like the laugh. No, I like the others also. But I like these more. Yeah. >> Pulling others leg. To pull others leg. >> To pull others leg. Okay. But okay, fair enough. That more looks like a how to reflect by pulling others leg. But anyway, let's >> reflect to tease others like >> Okay, >> I reflect >> just look like a joker.

13:23 >> Oh, you aren't already okay to look like a joker. Okay. Mhm. more reasons to reflect. Is it to look like a locer or to to to realize I am a joker? >> Okay. Anyway, that you will anyway realize sooner or later with the reflection. Others, well, there are so many people, 18 people and we have got five, six reasons. Terrible.

14:04 To throw tantrums. >> To throw tantrums. Okay. More, more, more. I want more. So people have just joined in in a little while and wondering what's going on. Um we are assuming everybody knows what is reflection. Uh and even if you don't know whatever you know is reflection. So that's okay. It doesn't matter what is actually reflection.

14:50 Maybe there is no one definition. And then we're trying to say okay if whatever is that reflection that we think we want to do why would we want to do it you know we should have a purpose to do it now so we're coming up with the craziest wackiest reasons that we can think of right now create new jokes >> to create new jokes. You said >> yeah.

15:25 >> Yeah. Okay. To create jokes. >> To get a treat. >> To get a treat. Okay.

15:57 Oh, sorry. I did not see the chat today for whatever reason. >> We are more in >> Wait, wait. Let me go to the chat. Sorry, sorry, sorry. What? Somebody said to hang out with friends. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry. To hang out with friends. Uh to laugh at your own mistakes. Yeah. Sh.

16:30 To laugh is good enough. Whose mistake you laugh is that different. To find another reason to continue the fight. Okay. I like this one. To find reasons to fight more. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, I'm copy pasting from chat. That's not to realize that there's nothing even to reflect about. Okay. Okay. Okay. We should reflect to not to be able to stop reflecting further.

17:02 I would read it as that. Okay. more reasons to reflect. Um >> to uh find out what all kind of movie characters we have in ourself >> to find movie characters >> in oneself. Okay.

17:35 Then there was something but somebody saying to blame others. Okay. No no that's not funny to blame others. I'm not taking to blame others for now. That that is very easy. Right. We setting up some very interesting objectives for ourselves.

18:06 Okay. Uh Shadma is saying when you can look back and say wow I really did that. Okay. So what is it? So you want to celebrate your somebody had said something similar. to be okay. >> Party. >> Yeah. Party. Okay. Okay. Why I Yeah, I mean that's that's your reflection. Wow.

18:39 I really did that. But is >> okay. Is that the reason to self? Yeah. But that's okay. That that anyway is a regular reason to to reflect. A lot of people reflect to find out what's what's good in me and kind of thingy or what well I did. Okay. Okay. I've been pushing you to think for the last 15 minutes. So, yeah. Any thoughts? What's what is this doing when you are when you're trying to think of a crazy reason to reflect? And my god, it's not so easy to think of a crazy reason. That means reflection supposed to be something very serious, I guess.

19:26 So what what thought is coming now that you are thinking or you and others are thinking about a crazy reason to reflect. Why do you think we started with this? Why do you think this is this is even required to do? Why are we thinking like this? Why for why? Oh, what is it making you think now that what what did Ratn have for dinner today? Why is he behaving like this? Uh anybody?

19:58 >> Because maybe otherwise we don't do it if it is not interesting. >> Mhm. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, one reason could be that otherwise we don't do reflection only. We all do reflection. See, reflection is something which is very uh in one way it is very natural, right? Uh we we do have a lot of self-t talk inside us thinking about what happened. Let's say if there was a as somebody said a fight or a conflict or even if we read a book, a story or saw a movie, we do reflect back on it.

20:43 No. very uh kind of very naturally. Um so so that's like how we normally think. Why why are we trying to think of crazy reasons? Cool. Why is the group so quiet today? All muted. Muted. All cameras also off. Yeah. A prianka is saying it's only considered only in serious situations when we have to take major decisions. Oh my goodness.

21:19 So you reflect priyanka only when you have to take a major decision. I get you what you're saying and yeah it's it's common but that's that's the whole point. Yeah. Well, generally I think uh we don't uh give it give it a lot of importance reflection like to intentionally reflect. We don't give that a lot of importance unless there's something major that's troubling us or there's some major decision that I have to take. I personally don't give it so much importance. I I I think I don't have time to you know just sit and reflect about something.

22:09 >> Okay. And at the same time Sharia is saying we are always reflecting. So you're saying we are always reflecting but we are not giving it real importance. We are thinking >> uh what I feel is when we are simply like thinking and not doing intentionally. >> Mhm. So there's no outcome generally we do think about it and we reflect naturally when we are doing it but uh that reflection doesn't translate into any actionable changes but when we have >> say reflection should lead to actionable changes for you Rama >> otherwise how it will be helpful >> ah otherwise how will it be helpful Maybe it's not supposed to be helpful.

23:06 Maybe it's just supposed to make us eat ice cream. Maybe it's just supposed to, you know, whatever, have a party or to throw tantrums or to just hang out with my how with my family members or friends or whoever. Or um yeah, maybe just to find all movie characters in me or whatever it is. Maybe it is for all of these.

23:49 Yeah. Somebody else. Come on. So many of you. What are you thinking? This kind of a crazy start for supposedly as as Vibbuti said a serious or somebody else also said a serious topic. Reflection man.

24:24 I think we keep reflecting um maximum time unintentionally what I feel. >> Mhm. Okay. >> I think unintentional reflection reflection is more >> which is fine. Which is fine. What else? But why why would we want to reflect on all of these things or why this kind of purpose and why do we normally don't think like that?

24:57 >> Yeah. Maybe that thing matters to us. >> Mhm. So are you saying we only reflect on like serious thing or important things or matters of matter of significant sometimes sometime sometimes on a particular topic we reflect more. >> Mhm. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah. That could be different for different people different kind of topics. I think I saying to get a sense of our emotions.

25:31 Yeah. Yeah. We can reflect to get a sense of our emotions. We reflect when we want to go uh when we want to understand our actions like why we did it or >> Mhm. >> what Fair enough. >> Why we did what we did. >> Mhm.

26:03 I think reflection will make us uh think more consciously because some of our actions may be you know uh reactive to what some triggers or something. Reflection will bring more awareness. >> Okay. Okay. Which is precisely why I started thinking about some crazy reasons. You see >> sometimes uh go ahead. Go ahead. Sometimes uh through reflection we come to the conclusion for example in in >> Yeah. Yeah. So you're talking about the benefits of reflection. No no no I'm not even talking about benefits of I'm talking about wacky purposes for reflection and I'm still there. Okay. So I I want to pull this group all of you out of your very known you know this whole serious very that okay reflection should bring a change. Reflection should set me right. reflection to help me understand everything. You know, poor reflection. Now it has to perform.

27:06 You know, I want you to bring back to the joy of reflection to have ice cream to laugh to find craziness in ourselves to break ourselves free from this whatever whatever whatever. Yes, you can do it for whatever else you want to do it. But if we are going to put the whole job of reflection and which is why if we think about why we reflect if if if the purpose is to let's say change myself or change the other person if the child is misbehaving and I say come come beta I want to reflect with you Ga right you know if the purpose is to s is to change the child through reflection then obviously I I doubt it will ever change the Maybe, maybe it will, maybe it will not.

27:57 But the problem started with the thought that I want to use reflection. But reflection is not something to use. It is something to >> I don't do I will leave it for you. >> Yeah. Sometimes if we if we reflect about the you know pleasing moments or enjoyable moments and uh then we uh really enjoy uh that video imaginative video in front of us.

28:32 >> Sure. But again I'm just saying the whole idea of reflection is to reflect. >> Yes. It is not to do anything with us. What it will do to us is not important. If we start thinking that reflection will bring about something, will bring about let's say options, will bring about solutions, will bring about change, will bring about this. Yes. Yes. Yes. We can please definitely uh keep those points. I'm not saying throw those points. But that's only a minuscule of what a reflection can do. Reflection can do on in a way. What is reflection?

29:11 Reflection is enjoying what has happened, right? It's like it's like almost we come back from a from a holiday and then we want to show all the lovely photographs to all our you know friends or whoever nowadays. So we don't even wait to show the photographs. We immediately send the photographs itself. Now that to me is like the joy of reflection where I want to I want to reflect not because it is something something needs to be achieved but the very act of going back to something which has happened is a source of joy or if you don't if you don't like the word joy you can say source of ice cream or whatever else you want to put it in its place meaning I leave it to you to decide but I think somewhere that is important if we realize that okay reflection can lead us anywhere and everywhere and all kinds of the donkeys donkeys monkeys whatever frogs all all the characters that are inside us it can help us not help us it can just all all of them will come out and we can all enjoy so let's let's take an example Okay, let's take it. Okay, since we talked about an ice cream, let me take an example of ice cream. Okay, so let's say ice cream fell down. So just now you bought an ice cream and uh in a nice scoop of uh you know uh ice cream you bought double heap let's say and uh you came out of the shop and plop the whole double hoop scoop fell down on the floor with only the cone in your hand. Let's say this is the situation right I know I made a very since somebody talked about now what would you like to reflect on let's take a specific example now let's say you say come come I want to do a little reflection about this little incident that has happened my both my scoops have fallen down now what would you like to reflect on throw some prompts on let's say we are only doing verbal reflection right now outside the shop let's say so we are just talking so what what kind of what what what would you what would you like >> how I am walking how I am holding the ice cream >> okay are you very sure okay how am I that's what I'm saying go away go away from the your regular uh okay I'll write it down uh but >> but let's see if we can we can go into the realm of of enjoying trying it. It has already fallen, dear.

32:09 >> Wow. The ice cream. >> Oh, wow. The ice cream wanted to be eaten by the floor. >> No, no, I don't want you to the the purpose. The purpose give me a prompt. Let's say I we all are your friends or how many of us are there? 19 of us. So, 19 of us. So, now what prompt will you give us which will make us all reflect on this this event that has happened just now? The your ice cream fell down.

32:36 So you are the one giving the prompts. >> Okay. >> Oh my god. >> Okay. So Lava, are you saying making mess of it or you're saying let's reflect how all we can make a mess of it? A mess? Is that what you're saying? I'm not very sure what you're saying. Please come on mic so that I can interact if possible. On ways to how the ice cream can fall.

33:10 >> Come again. >> On ways to how we can make the ice cream fall. >> Ah, how many ways can we make our our ice cream fall? Yeah. Let's find 33 ways. Is that good enough number? 33 ways we can make our ice cream fall. Okay. What else you want to reflect on? Come on. Let's Okay. Making me >> maybe just haha.

33:45 >> Pardon? >> Prom. Can we just like haha? Because something funny that happened that ice cream has fallen down. >> No, that's your reaction. But what are you wanting us to reflect on? >> I can remember one song like dumb ways dumb ways to die. So like Yeah. So dumb ways to be something something I don't know. Dumb ways to die. Just ice cream is fallen.

34:19 Yeah. Dumb ways to >> There is a song called dumb ways to die. Very >> fair enough. Fair enough. So now >> Yeah. >> Right. So now dumb ways to do what? >> Yeah. >> Sell this. Sell this fallen ice cream. >> To find out whether the street dogs love to lick the ice cream. >> Okay. Dumb. Okay. Is it is it in continuation of uh dumb ways?

34:55 Find out should I generalize who all will love to lick it or how we can all lick it? >> How would it feel like eating like what if it would have not fallen? I am having an ice cream after a very long time. What would have been the taste of that ice cream had it been swallowed by me.

35:28 >> Okay. So right now Miss Finen you are saying how will it be if I had eaten it? Okay. How will it be? >> Yeah. Imagining to uh uh imagining as if I would have eaten it what it would have what I'm saying. How soon it will melt? Yes. Oh yes, we can do a whole melting reflection. Making mess. Okay. How all we can make mess mess of fallen ice cream.

36:05 >> See how the fallen ice cream would have tasted. >> Pardon? >> How the fallen ice cream would have tasted. >> Okay. Okay. How the fallen ice cream would have tasted. Okay. >> How many would trip? >> Okay. Okay. How many people will trip? Let's let's Okay. Okay. This how many will trip is more like a future tense. Okay.

36:41 >> Reflection is like in the past. So, let's go back in the past. How how our body feels like it was asking for that ice cream but now it is not. >> How our body feels. Okay. Go on. You can go in any direction.

37:22 I wish I could have taken only one scope. >> Yeah, that is your wish. That is your actual reflection. So what what kind of prompt you want to give so that people can say so what what is what could be your wish if genie would have come to whatever give you the ice cream and said okay with the ice cream there is one wish is that is that what you're talking about >> no uh the reason of falling I'm assuming the reason of falling is it was coming out of the scope uh the one and another scoop was coming out of the cone that ice cream.

38:03 >> We don't know. We don't know. Okay, you are assuming that. Fair enough. So, what is the prompt now? >> How many scoops the ice cream can hold? >> Okay. How many can scoops the cone can hold? Um, what kind of art or design I can make out of fallen ice cream?

38:36 >> Art or design I can make? Okay. >> Okay. Okay. Fine. We can we can kind of pause here. Uh so my my attempt if you would have guessed it by now is to pull you out of the the conventional thought around reflection because what we have realized is that it is such an amazing way to to literally enjoy our life. But again enjoy I don't mean just the fun kind of a joy can be very deeper kind of a joy also or can be of any kind of a joy actually. Why? Why should I use the word deep for it? Any kind of joy. The the point is that for something which is so amazing, our own powers to go back to something and play around with it just because it has happened, right? And look into it from many many many many different dyes.

39:38 Yeah. and and actually deep dive or or wide dive or not even dive fly with it or whatever we want to do with it. So so that the whole what has happened that experience that has happened become an extremely interesting or richer source of of let's say enjoyment for us. Yeah. So let's say let's say I let's say I ask you a very simple question. All of you have lived today as in at least till now 8:39. Okay. Um let us say what was in your day which was like an ice cream falling.

40:22 Just think you don't have to tell me or tell anybody. You don't have to type it in chest. Just take a minute and think what in your day was like ice cream falling. from your corn. Yeah, just think about it. Don't share on mic. Don't share on uh anywhere.

40:53 And maybe since um I'll give you one more question. So, so what in your day was like ice cream falling? And what in your day was like you going and taking that empty cone back to the shopkeeper and he promptly putting two more scoops on top of it absolutely free of cost. Now, what in the day was like that? You getting two scoops of ice cream free after they have fallen.

41:38 So I have given you two questions. One was what was in today's which was like an ice cream falling and what was in today was like getting a free cone of free scoop of ice cream getting after your ice cream has fallen. Sorry when you're saying depends on how Yeah. Yeah. Depends on you. Absolutely.

42:12 Does it depend on how we look at the situation or does it almost changes how you now look at the situation. Okay. So what I'm I don't know what this experience was for you. Anybody wants to share? Don't share the uh what you reflected but if you could reflect how was doing this kind of a strange kind of a reflection in just a minute you did it probably or even even you could not find it that's okay even even still using that prompt to look through your day maybe you took took this lens of ice cream falling but you couldn't find anything about ice cream falling which is fine but you took that lens and scanned your day how was hat.

43:11 Anybody any thoughts? Since we are so accustomed to serious reflections, the wacky reflection actually seems like more hard work than a serious reflection. >> Okay, Shika is saying my voice is waking. Is my voice fine now? Shika and others. Maybe it's Shika's con for others. Is it okay? The voice is okay.

43:45 >> Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. >> Okay. Yeah, I think Shika's video is frozen. So maybe it's her connection. Yeah, but I'm I'm totally with you, Arpan. We have we have taken something so beautiful. Okay. And made it into something very serious. I'm not trying to say it is not serious. In fact, I'm trying to say the the most wacky way of doing it is actually in a way I'm just trying to say that there isn't really a serious or a non-serious reflection that every reflection or any kind of reflection is something which does something to us.

44:29 And if you're not too hooked up with results, which I hope by now you are little less hooked up with results, then you will find lot of different things, lot of different treasures. >> So let's go ahead. >> I could immediately relate to the ice cream falling incident from the day, but I could not relate with the getting two scoops again. So I don't know whether that goes into pessimism optimism domain but I'm not thinking too much about it but I still following I could relate about >> maybe you couldn't relate in a day maybe then you can increase the span to yesterday or 3 days or 1 week or when was the last it kind of thing happened that's okay that's absolutely fine right again not finding finding is not the purpose in fact the moment reflection you see we the reflection as an object objective then it it becomes a different reflection. The moment reflection itself does not have an objective but we are doing it on something which we want to specifically like ice cream falling kind of thing and I'm scanning my day through that lens then it becomes very interesting.

45:43 So we are trying to make reflection richer not necessarily the output of the reflection of a specific kind. Let's try that. Let's take up a live situation which we did last week. Um you remember this uh this scene from Tesipe that we did uh on the last session. Yeah. Meanwhile, anybody else wants to share anything from the uh from the ice cream falling reflection of yours? We can take up that. But what what we can what I would like to do is let's go back to this situation. Uh if you want I if you want me to play it again, I can play the video again and then we will imagine if we are uh the aunt and the uncle in this particular scene just like we did last uh uh Tuesday and then we will see how what kind of reflection we could do with this family. In fact visualize then then you are sitting on a dinner table with the dad the mom the Ishan's brother and Ishan four of them and you the fifth person and you just come up with the idea that hey let's let's reflect okay meaning you need not use the word let's reflect you come up with the idea in your mind and then you propose something yeah anything a prompt let's say okay let's say we even keep it to a verbal reflection so would you like would you like me to play the clip again or we are already ready. We can start thinking here what kind of reflection we can float around and let's let's come up with some ideas.

47:22 Let's see what we can do. What we can do we just have a we just had a very cool situation right or a messy situation. However you see it it doesn't matter what what can reflection do to it. So we we'll create different reflections. You want me to play the clip again or you're good? You have already seen the clip. We can directly jump in. Okay, maybe we can directly jump in. Good. I'm ready. You have to tell me what.

47:56 Remember you are everybody's sitting at the dining table. We are having whatever lunch, dinner after this incidents and you would like the group to reflect You came up with this thought. Ah, let's do some reflection. Everybody's so quiet on the dinner table. So, you throw something. What would you like to throw to the group? And not to one person. That's very very important. When we do reflection in a group, all of us do the reflection.

48:33 Again that's more like a you can say a code rather than a rule rule in the sense it's not like somebody cannot say I I don't want to share that's absolutely fine but the idea is it's not an interrogation it's not about one person it's not okay you reflect you did this you messed up now you better reflect and give me the right answer no no no that's not reflection yeah so what would you like to propose.

49:03 Come up. Come up with something. How does it matter? Say something. >> Ways to get a free kite. >> Ah, ways to get a free kite. Okay. You can also go specifically back to the uh incident. Remember the incident you're you can also look at something as one part of the whole incident or an overall aspect of that incident. and and and and bring up some prompt.

49:37 >> How to irritate my father by laughing. >> Uh but that already happened. So what is the reflection? Remember the reflection question should be such that all of us can reflect and it should not pin anybody. Right? If it's if the spotlight is on one person then that's not reflection. then that person will be defensive and all others will be offensive. You know what I mean? Or if you have sympathy with that person, then you will also be very defensive. Then that's no more a reflection. You see, let me let me give you an analogy. If you want to see a reflection in water, the water needs to be still. Does that make sense?

50:21 >> Yeah. >> If you already create turbulence, then you can't see the reflection. Now if you take that analogy if you already spotlight on me let's say I have messed up with something you say rat you didn't do this okay um reflect on this incident you've already you shaken me up now how will I reflect I'm already on to oh my goodness mar let me say something which will make you feel happy yes I will never do this again ma please forgive me see that's not a reflection that I'm going already defending or whatever pleading feel guilty or whatever whatever the the whole opportunity to explore to enjoy to enrich to go to go jumping into the into the incident has been lost.

51:10 So it's important according to me there's nobody being pinned. We all are just exploring or rather not even exploring reflecting. We all are going back to the incident and thinking >> kids fight really really on silly things. We can give a statement. Kids fight on uh >> why kids again. Again you are pinning out kids. >> Okay. Kids. Okay. We can't uh in general I'm I'm I'm talking in general. All kids. I'm talking about >> Yeah. Yeah. Even all kids. Why all kids?

51:51 Why kids? >> You see there are three adults in that. You, the dad, the mom and only two kids. Why are you unnecessarily you know if you if you want to say for what all things we all fight let's all share you know that's still better all of us are sharing what all things we fight on we had we just saw a little fight so let us share what all things I have fought on in the last one month let's say then it makes and then each one is sharing what they have fought about though that is still in okay let's let's Hold on. You'd come up with your thought. Okay. Ishwar is saying K. Okay.

52:32 Before that, Deepali Singh is laughing bad. Mhm. Sing can we all share what each of us felt and thought about the incense because I think it will help us to discuss on situations like this. Yeah. So that that's that's a that's a that's a nice start ishwari but that's like the normal kind of reflection. Again nothing wrong or right. I'm sure you can come up with this prompt but I want to pull you around a little today because if I'm going to just say reflect and you are going to say this and and that's the end of the reflection. No no no that let's just say that's like a for apple. We all know that. Let's all move ahead. What else can we invite the group for? Make it more, I don't know, tangential, interesting. Make it more insightful.

53:24 Make it more funny. Make it more stupid. Make it more silly. Make it more intelligent. Whatever you want to think about, come up with something. >> How to keep parents out of the fight. >> How do we >> how to how to keep parents? Uh uh. >> No, again, that's again again you're pinning a particular group. You're pinning now the parent group just like the kids group >> or elders elders I would say not parents parents >> why even keep elders out of it as in again it's about one one section of this group then there is no reflection of the it's it's uni it's only in one direction so leave out the elders or the parents part just focus on what what did you want to reflect then on how to how to uh escape a you know how to keep them away or how to not to have them between the ch I mean like if if childrens are fighting you you can fight >> but double then you are implying that they shouldn't be part of a fight >> some place so it's already kind of a this you know half the reflection is gone >> then we propose uh let's go for the dinner outside >> no no it's nothing to do with the dinner wherever you are eating the It's a reflection that we want.

54:49 Okay, maybe let me give you one or two examples or who else is in the group? Let me ask. Okay, I was hoping I will. Okay, give give me some example. Okay, this is ishw is a good start and I'm I'm sure that's a very valid question. I I'm not saying that's not a good question. I'm just saying that's a very standard question. Okay, we what all we felt and thought let's all share. Yeah, let's all share what all we felt and thought. So that's a good simple basic I I'm not to put it down but I'm saying the regular vanilla kind of a response question and please use this as much as you can. So what is it written? Okay let me write it down just to make it clear. So share what each of us felt and thought. Okay. Oh where am I typing? Sorry. So, so it's an absolutely valid way to reflect and I'm I want to put it up there, right? Uh not to say that this is not good. This is good. This is awesome. But let's think more and let's think more interesting ways of doing it. Again, not to say that this is not interesting. I'm not trying to put it down. I'm just saying this is a very regular thing. Hey, sh let's share what are your thoughts. Hey, share what are your feelings. Okay, good. So, these we got two two reflection prompts.

56:09 thoughts, feelings, let's move ahead. >> What are the breaking points of house rules? Like we have a house rule that hitting is not allowed or we don't hit. So something like this happening even from child or from elders and >> okay so what is the what what is the what is the question? >> What is the breaking point? What are the breaking points of the house rules >> like no hitting? >> No. Are we supposed to say which are the house rules being broken in the house over the last one week or what? What are you saying? Some make it make it a doable thing. Ask me a question which I can answer. The way you ask me, I'm not able to think what to answer.

56:51 >> Yeah. So make us so because of uh the incident is specifically like more intense on the hitting part. So what >> uh you are thinking of waiting as intense. Sorry. The incident is not in hard on hitting. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. But that's okay. What makes us break >> break the heating? No heating rule. >> Let's not get house rules. Huh? Take house rules. Whatever. >> Okay. What makes us break? What all makes us Okay. Okay.

57:25 >> So, you can you can also Sorry, just one moment. I'm going little slow. Wait, wait. There's also one one or two responses in the chat. So, uh what all makes us break house rules? Okay. Okay. What all makes us break house rules? Okay. Uh again since it's a reflection maybe you would like to invite in the last let's say one week when all have you broken uh what all led you to make up house rules? Give an example of a house rule that you broke anything. I was supposed to throw the whatever dust bin but the movie coming was more uh whatever. So I didn't throw the dust dust trash out of the trash bin like that. those kinds. Okay. Okay. Sorry, I'm just going a little slow. Um, Ishwar is saying, "Can we all share what makes each one of us really angry?"

58:16 Okay. What makes each uh what makes each one of us really angry? Fair enough. Okay. She was asking, "Tell your favorite color of kite." Okay. Tell your favorite color of kite. Okay. Yeah. Couple of more people were on the mics. >> Uh if I may. Uh I was thinking maybe I'll uh mention that how brave it was for Ishan to fight.

58:53 >> No. Again, you are on to one person. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are you're doing a reflection. You are not giving your reflection. You're putting up a prompt. So each one of see like when some when when ishwar is asking what makes each one of us really angry all of us can share isn't it and it doesn't need to be directly about the incident. So it's not pinching anybody yet each one is realizing that all of us get angry which is why it was fair to get father to get angry, mother to get angry, shant to get angry, brother to get angry >> and you to get angry. You may not have done anything in the scene but sitting on the sidelines are you feeling angry?

59:35 >> Yeah. You see so so all of us it's fair to get angry and so we are all exploring anger and we are just sharing hey what what makes each of us angry then so that's an interesting question. Yeah but if you're already saying that it was brave of him then that's not a reflection by itself. So maybe we can discuss bravery like when when all we have been brave uh enough to uh fight for something that we really want maybe do something about it.

60:04 We have been brave to fight for what we >> really want. What we really want >> in a way that's what dad was doing. You know, if you look at it from the other line, you see the moment you change questions, you see what starts springing up. Interesting. >> No, that wasn't Wasn't he brave enough to fight for what he wants? He was whether you think slapping is good or bad. He was not worried about his image.

60:38 He was more worried about his son. Now I'm putting him in a different light. Okay. More more more. I I heard few more people on mics. Yes. Let's let's think. >> How to somebody anger without letting him or her know or how to how to laugh or smile in your head without >> How to Sorry. Sorry. How to laugh in your head. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Somebody's angry. Yeah. On somebody's anger without him or her to know.

61:10 Without letting him or her to know. >> Okay. Tricky because it's kind of directly onto the isan thing. But anyway, let's see. You can generalize it. You can make it simple. the more uh more it is non-person specific. Okay. Uh how how has how has laughter or sense of humor helped you in any situation? When was the last sense of humor helped you come out of a situation? Yeah, >> that's a more generic kind of thing, you know, which isn't pinching anybody, but it is still bringing out the aspect that Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Oh, yes. Oh, wow.

61:56 Yeah. So, I'll just put that in sense of humor. Yeah. Because then we are looking at from an HM perspective. You're reflecting on us on the sense of humor. Hom. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. More questions. Come on. Let's let's use this situation to explore reflection like nobody's business. If required, let's two hours just do this. I have no problem. If we can come up with some 50 100 different reflections on the same situation, then we have understood reflection or in a way that we have started understanding reflection then we can take it forward in your own life however you want to.

62:34 So let's do this as an exercise today rather than as a discussion today. one clarification. So >> please >> um so what you're intending to say is uh the reflection should not be outcome based or we should not look for a >> you know I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm saying that's the regular thing okay and think about it what it does when it is outcome based then it loses its power of reflection the power of reflection is much bigger much wider much much longer long term.

63:17 It's not just about me fixing something or somebody now. It's it's to do with a much much much wider if I can reflect and create an insight which can help me all my life in some way. I'm not saying create as in like pack it and create it as in because of the reflection over the time I create an understanding which can help me whole of my life. Wouldn't that be amazing? So we have to plant these little little seedlings of reflections so that they create a forest of insights for me. How is that?

63:51 >> Okay. >> So I'm not saying there there is a should no in whichever way you have been reflecting till now is wonderful. Okay. It's not wrong or right. Let's add new ways. What is the point of we are only staying with the way yes those are already good ways. You already know them. I'm I'm just creating more understand or expanding the horizon of reflection. I hope that makes sense. Which is why I I let me apologize. I kind of almost put down your thought of you know uh when you said that okay let's just think of felt and thought and then I realized no no that's an important kind of reflection just that it's very common isn't it?

64:34 >> Yeah right. >> Yeah. So I just want to expand your basket of uh reflections into hundreds, thousands, millions. >> Okay, thanks. >> Okay, come on. Come on. Let's let's go back. Okay. Okay, let's do it this way. Let's take a small break. We are at 94. Maybe we need a recharge or something. and um and we'll do one thing when we come back. Uh we will once again watch the clip. So come back quickly. Let's make it in 3 minutes today. Wherever you want to go and whatever you want to do, let's come back quickly. Let's watch this clip once more because that will just stimulate us a little more. Uh that ah this is the incident because we weren't really really actually there. No. And then we will again try and fill up two three four more slides with what all we can reflect on in this incident. Let's if you are you all okay just taking one incident and trying to create many many many different reflections.

65:37 Yeah. Okay. Let's do that. So let's let's pause now. 95. Okay. Let me not make it too short. 9 9 10. Let's come and let's watch the clip first.

69:48 Right. Okay. So, have you pl guys planned any strategy? What how are you going to convince >> Mr. What if he says no?

73:04 Okay, let's uh let's restart. I hope you are all back, right? Let's let's reook at the situation once more. Um see if you would like to pick little little details. In fact, I do want to mention I like this whole idea of asking which is your favorite color of kite and not just stay with the color maybe when did you last flew a kite and how do you look at kites and what is amazing about kites you know you're picking one prop from the whole situation and suddenly focusing and making that the hero rather than everything else you know which is supposed to be like serious needs lot of attention kind of a thing and that self diffuses everything obviously some people may totally reject this kind of relation what what you know crap are you talking about let's talk about Ishan's behavior I don't want to talk about kite so you may get that kind of an interesting response but if you can get away with with at least bringing in people the framework that ah kite is as beautiful part of our life then itself is interesting you know just to bring it on the table so if you can serve people on that table kite Amazing.

74:21 Again, it's a hidden trial. You may bring up the kite and nobody is ready to reflect on it. That's a different thing. Okay. So, let's just watch the clip again as and then we will create more reflections on this. Okay. Let's get back. Yeah. More ideas. More ideas. Let's think. Let's let's put all our heads together and let's create lot of different ripples of reflection.

74:57 Yeah. >> Ways in which we can um care for each other when we mess up. Mhm. Okay. Where ways we can comfort each other. >> Is it care or is it comfort?

75:29 >> Are they the same thing? >> Okay, you decide. You say which even if you think they're the same thing, that's absolutely fine. No care >> where we can care for each other. Okay. So, was the father caring by slapping?

76:04 It's interesting. Now, in a way, he was caring differently. The the brother was caring differently. The mother was caring differently and the Ishan was caring differently. Probably we'll get a chapter on care, right? See, that's the beauty. Okay. More, more, more. Yes. Yes. And realize half of them these ideas might bomb. Don't worry about that.

76:35 Just say we had a terrible reflection today or nobody accepted my reflective ideas. That's absolutely fine. How does it matter? Let's think more. Let's think more.

77:06 How to handle injuries when we don't have first aid uh available. Okay. Okay. Fair enough. whatever right now let's just come up with ideas it doesn't matter how the ideas are I I was thinking of one idea was how was our situation which happened just little while back similar to Mahabharat who was who okay who was who is not required let people come up with whatever assuming everybody in the family knows what is The story of Mahabharat or any anything else similar to anything else actually similar to a it can be anything actually just similar to a cricket match.

78:33 Yeah. More, more, more. Whatever is coming. Don't think too much. You guys are too much thinking. Just say >> sorry. What can we do like when we get into a fight first? >> Okay. So, you're meaning what all can we do when we get into a fight? Okay. Cool. So I have a prompt. I don't know whether it's wacky or serious. No, don't. Huh? Don't worry. Just shoot. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, uh let's reflect on different types of clothes. Zipper versus buttons, shorts versus uh pants and how they help us in different situations.

79:17 And they help us in different situation by not getting torn or something. is use. >> Yeah. Yeah. So the maintenance post after right. So zipper is better than having a button shirt when you're traveling through a local train or cardboard places or or something like that. Everyone bring up a situation where different types of clothes help saved you maintenance late or something like that. >> Okay. Sure. >> That's one. And the second one I had in mind was in different types of situation when you're looking at people >> if you were supposed to put glasses and see what kind of animal that comes to your mind from a bear to a tiger to lion to a deer to a rabbit. M so each each person who >> which animal you relate to right >> yeah yeah yeah in that situation good or bad whatever the situation is >> if you had a power to see them as animals what animals come to mind yeah >> we use this a lot is a very very popular one because each one of us and also the reason why meaning as in what aspect of that animal it's not just that animal you can even if you want to go one level deeper which aspect of that animal made you choose that animal. Uh >> right, right right.

80:31 >> Yeah. Absolutely. >> Why don't why don't uh we all join a course how to handle naughty kids? >> But which kid are you talking about? There were four five kids in the scene. Okay. >> No, all are naughty. >> No, no. Again, don't go into one uh the the okay you're saying why don't we join but that's more like a suggestion what's the reflection part as in what are you trying to say so so convert this into reflection I think you have a thought somewhere just convert it into a reflection question to which each one of us can not just answer in obviously we don't want a close-ended answer we want a expression a wide range of thoughts coming up So, but you have a thought just just think convert that into a question or a pro. Yeah. A question right now.

81:32 >> Yeah. Somebody else was saying something. You can think this through while somebody else can come up with another idea.

82:07 I'm still with the ice cream. >> Let's add a new uh indoor games to engage kids. >> Uh again, you're giving a suggestion. uh we are asked you you have to give me a reflection question which can make people think you're giving a suggestion let's do this that's a different thing but right now we are into the realm of reflection I have written one more from Mo and I'm still stuck at ice creams. Maybe I'm missing ice creams.

83:01 What all that happened in the situation deserved an ice cream as an award. And then you can say in your own reflection, I was so angry. I think I deserved an ice cream just to cool me down. >> Uh maybe the anger uh was a carry forward from a past incident on that day. Uh I I I probably should have not even taken taken up that situation right now.

83:46 Maybe leave it for later sort of thing. >> No, when you say uh sorry I I didn't get when you say I should not have taken who is this eye. So what's your prompt? You see prompt is that >> is this feeling being triggered solely based on the current scenario or is it a carried forward from something happened maybe >> which feeling >> anger whatever it is any feeling.

84:19 >> So are you asking people to first share a feeling they are feeling right now? Is that what meaning? Yeah, like think of it as a reflect. Just just visualize. Wait, wait, wait. Just I'm helping everybody visualize you're sitting on a dining table. There are these four people with you. Ishan, his brother, dad, and mom. We are all sitting and you want to throw up a a reflection prompt or a reflection question. >> Yeah, let me give an example.

84:46 >> Sure. Let me give a relatable example. So >> in that particular clip had Ian's father >> imagine we are all there on the table. What are you telling us? >> Okay. >> Imagine maybe's father is tired from the day work. >> Wait wait wait wait wait. No no no we are not discussing it. You are giving the prompt right now. We are on the table. You're sitting at the table with the other four family members. What are you going to say?

85:13 Are you angry just because I Isan did something or are you upset something happened in your office? So leave the Isan thing out. So are you saying whatever you are feeling right now are you feeling because of the incident or because of something else? >> Yes. >> Is that what you are saying? >> Yeah. Is is it compounding compounding because of maybe the small incident what happened now? Is it compounding what you felt rest of the day?

85:42 Okay. Okay. Uh what you are feeling is um getting compounded. You'll have to explain this to everybody there on the dining table. What you're feeling is is is it is it getting compounded? >> So, uh >> is it getting Okay, fair enough. Is it getting compounded from what you have been feeling the whole day, week, whatever? Okay. Interesting.

86:21 Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead. Somebody else was sharing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Since we are sitting on the dining table for the sake of idea, I'm assuming let's say we are having dal chaval cooked in a pressure cooker. So I would ask everyone uh to go back to the situation and uh relate who was the pressure cooker, who was the flame, who was the chaval uncooked inside, who was the whistle or do some mapping exercise, who was the gas cylinder >> and >> because ultimately everything went into cooking that rice. So >> with respect to cooking this dinner, >> map it to different kitchen equipment.

86:58 >> Sure. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm just writing it. Uh yeah kind of >> it's kind of similar to the animal attribute mapping but maybe slightly adv advanced version. >> Definitely definitely the simp popped up into my mind. >> Yeah absolutely that's very contextual very interesting relate the situation and map it with respect to cooking this dinner. Okay I just given just to catch your idea. I'm sure when you say it out it will be more detailed how you said it with dal rice and all that. Yeah. Yeah.

87:32 Carry on. Somebody else is sharing >> how to improve room temperature increase or decrease room temperature without actually doing it. >> Uh okay. >> How to I like it. How to increase or decrease room temperature? It's a very tangential question if you just spring it like that but I I would love to hear uh visualize what could have been the result. How to increase or decrease room temperature without an AC or whatever.

88:07 Is that what you mean? Without a machine. >> Yeah. Without thermostat. Yeah. >> Without a machine. Okay. Interesting. Very interesting. Ishan may say call that you see our mind is a funny thing. uh you know you give something straight uh we take it very differently but you fill it up with lot of confetti and you know worms and and tangents and light streaks and so on and so forth and we start developing our whole understanding in a many many many different ways almost like a claoscope you break the glass to create more patterns does that make sense So we have to somewhere we are trying to break that glass otherwise the stuck patterns you see and and I'm again I'm again reemphasizing even if you are with these stuck patterns nothing wrong with that's one way of reflecting and we all know that we can all say what was wrong with Isan's behavior we can always say what was wrong with dad's behavior right so there's nothing wrong and right about those classical questioning and the classical reflection kind of an interrogation kind of or a or a you know dissection kind of an approach.

89:44 But the moment we break the glass we can create a kaleidoscope. That effect is very subtle but could be much more longlasting and could lead to much more reflection of each one carries in the into the night and into the next day and into the week and years and maybe the whole life. That's the magic of what what we call as we call as planned reflection. So I say to people that yes reflection we all do but the magic of planned reflection where you plan something where you say okay I want to bring this way of reflection on this kind of a prompt with this kind of a thought and that would really energize our thinking because that's what reflection should do.

90:34 So the more planned it is the more okay I I shouldn't say the more planned I'm saying when it is planned chances are it is more enriching now which is why we're trying to plan different reflection prompts although you may reject all of these and and still and and use whichever else come to you whenever it comes to you. I hope I'm making some sense. But anyways, let's see how this goes. More, more, more. Please give me more, more, more reflection prompts. Just visualize the dining table.

91:14 Okay, we have reduced to about 15 people, but we can still come up with 15 responses in the next 1 minute. Go on everybody type one response within one minute. Whatever is coming to your mind. How does it matter? No right wrongs, no amazing, no Oscar awards. Anyways, >> which is more better the Kella subji or the situation that has happened? >> Okay. So, okay, that slightly sounds like a close-ended open it up. Let's say compare the whatever the dinner items to these situations. Is that what you meant that Okay. Is this is this how does how do I compare dal with what were in the situation? What do I relate rice with?

92:01 Is that what you meant or >> because when you just said this is better that is better. >> Okay, let me take it how you have said it. Okay, which was better? Which was better? >> No, no, no, not better. Bitter actually I was I I'm implying that the >> No, then you have already branded the situation as bitter. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? No, no, no. That is why I'm saying don't make it so that it is it's already it's no more a reflection then it's already uh you can say directed you have already made the or everybody assume it was bitter why do you think bitter I'm happy with this situation I'm to celebrating I'm saying this is good news you're talking about bitterness I'm talking about rasgulas >> got you yeah >> I recognize one point again like uh I think the struggle that at least I'm facing is like we should not sound judgmental at the same time >> what uh what are we trying to then uh >> we trying to explain >> um you know >> by reflecting >> yeah trigger like what do we intend as as a person who is bringing in reflection what is the intention of that person what is the meaning of reflect everyone is churning churning we are reflect we are the intention is to churn learn the reflection is to to to open ourselves up to to learn in different ways.

93:29 >> Okay. >> I mean I'm actually correlating correlating with the personal experiences that you know the moment we try to talk about something unpleasant the people may react to even worse. >> Exactly. That is why we need to do it differently. For example, if I say uh uh a think of uh let's say six things that would that would qualify think six actions that would qualify as kindness in this situation.

94:07 How's this? Ah, sorry. What happened? Now I I say qualify as in fact let me not even put kindness. Let me put uh okay anything. X X XXXS kindness. XXXness means uh it could be anything that you want to put.

94:41 So see the moment I say where all you saw kindness in this situation now your mind is churning from the lens of kindness which perhaps by now till now you haven't even seen it from that lens and then when some up somebody comes up with the way you haven't seen that as kindness then that becomes interesting it opens a new bulb in me because somebody else shared okay let's do this.

95:11 Where did you see kindness in this? >> In mom's uh >> the mother of course. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Brothers as well. >> Was mother being kind? Yo, I thought >> brother. >> Okay. Brother, why did you think that was kind? >> He was just shouting at his dad when when he's giving slap to Ishan. So what was the kindness? >> He he reacted. He felt bad that he was hitting.

95:45 >> Yeah. Yeah. He felt bad. But what was the kindness in it? >> Isan was kind. >> Wait little little finish. So if you >> Was the mother kind? Son, >> was the mother kind or was the mother kind? Because she didn't even listen to what Vishan was saying.

96:15 >> So was the mother kind? She was in fact giving him a gan that don't do go don't go to that boy and play. How many times I've told you not to go to that boy? Didn't she say that? If you caught the dialogue, she said, "How many times I've told you not to play with that boy?" And when Isan started to speak, the mother said mother didn't allow him to speak. Now is that kindness? Why do we assume that that's kindness?

96:40 No, if so again good. So you are sharing that as a kindness which is fine for you that was kindness. Somebody else might say uh the brother was kind. Who else was kind? What else was kind? the action where mother was checking on Ishan if the injuries were uh severe or >> kind. >> Mhm.

97:11 >> Well, Ishan did not react uh offensively when he was uh try try he when his father tried to hit him or when he was shouted at. >> Okay, that was kind. So see we are thinking about kindness itself in different ways. That's the whole idea. If you're saying what's the intent, the intent is to is to not get locked up in the situation. Situation has happened. Situations will happen. We are not all we are all dynamic beings. Life is dynamic. Thank god it's dynamic. Thank god we are all WIP. Thank god we are all linging. Thank god life is ing. So that's that's not the concern. The concern is can we can we you know draw something or or glow something from anything that has happened in a some way there is a gold there also there's so much gold in this situation we can all within codes not learn in the sense of you know learning learning but we can all I don't know how to say it kind of that's why I like the word the radiocope. We can all create so many patterns inside us just by one situation.

98:29 Let's try a few more. Uh 39. Okay, let's take five more minutes. No, one more minute. Okay, 1 minute 15 of us. So 15 prompts. Let's try say something. Type in chat. Sorry if you have been whatever comes to >> one quick uh you mentioned kindness. So suddenly uh the way we think about kindness right and in an obvious way the mother was kind the father was aggressive but now that I just took a step back the father threatened him that I'll send you to boarding school maybe this was the 10 last warning quote unquote because he had done it 100 times before so he's still threatening him to send it to boarding school but he is not sending him to boarding school so maybe he was also being kind. Yeah.

99:17 >> So good. So now you're thinking kindness in many different ways. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. >> Yeah. One one prompt. Come on. 1 minute. 15 prompts. >> Let's have >> that. The neighbor neighbor was also kind. >> Wait. Let's move away from kindness. I want 15 prompts in 15 minutes. Sorry. 1 minute from 15 of us.

99:53 One one prompt per person. Okay. >> How to fight or scold someone without using a voice. >> How to fight school. Sorry. Okay. Without words. >> The voice or without like speak. >> Okay. And you can even say who all did this in this situation if you directly want to also reflect on the situation. I'm adding this from my side. Who did this in this situation? Maybe somebody was was fighting without using voice.

100:35 >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Please come either type it on chat or >> the calmness that was there amongst all the others like the father was shouting but the mother was very quiet and calm. And uh and even the brother he was >> wait tell me the prompt tell me the prompt what's the prompt >> well how to be calm in such situations calmness >> right so now we are not doing any more ness so I I that's why I typed that xxxness you can keep on substituting with calmness creativity whatever hom you want to put there you can put any kind ofness there isn't it and we can create some 150 prompts.

101:20 So yes, you can put calmness also. Okay. But anyway, let me take how who all was calm. Sorry. Say your prompt. >> Yeah. Who all were calm in this situation? How to keep calm in such situations? >> Yeah. And for all you know, if you say mom you were calm, mom might say I was not at all calm. I just didn't do anything. But inside me, I was boiling. So interesting. It just shows we are seeing it one way but she's seeing it another way. So who all were calm in the situation? Okay. More more prompts. More prompts.

101:55 >> How many different ways we can react to this situation? >> We can react to this situation. Okay. you were typing in a chat. Uh >> oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry. Okay, I was I also typed, how can we make money out of this situation? How can we what is it called?

102:28 Monetize this situation. Maybe make some Insta reels out of it. I have no idea. >> Yeah, viral YouTube. >> Yes, why not? Few more. Few more. Come on. Come on. Where are we on time? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. >> Can we go back in the time and replay the situation? >> Yeah. But then what's the prompt? What do you want them to replay about? So replay is a good So I will come to that.

102:59 That's why I thought I will still take 10 minutes. Okay. So give me 10 minutes. This is a very long uh presentation and I'll share with you. It has lots and lots of ideas and um I I'll just run you through some of the slides so that you get the ideas of what is there but I didn't want to take it through slideshow today. So okay so I'm taking a pause from this situation. So uh the the slideshow also talks about why what could be the different reasons to reflect with lots of uh some examples there. Yeah, I'm just scrolling through the slides. Um the wire reflect. Um okay. Uh where is here?

103:47 Okay. And uh yeah it also talks about what all we can reflect on. So there are some slides on what all are the different things you can reflect on. This is one slide. second slide, third slide. So we can reflect on a lot of different things. So you can go through the slides. I'll share it with you. There's no okay I just want to pause at this little quotation from Ju Krishna Morti. So for us he's the huge value of reflection. He talks about reflection a lot and we really really really are deep gratitude to him for for making us helping us understand the amazing power of reflection in any part of our life. Okay. So what he sees says is very simple. The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is.

104:34 Self-nowledge has no end. You don't come to an achievement which is like you don't come to end result. You don't come to a conclusion. It's an endless river. So we are just enriching ourselves in in ways not to create something but just to just to kind of keep flowing to keep flowing like an endless river. So that's that's a little quote from from Jidu Krishna Morti and um okay I'll come to one more quote but before that I want to quickly run through a few don'ts so I'm not going to talk about how to do reflection you can find many many many many ways million ways of doing reflections um but I want to run through take five or 10 minutes to run through how not to reflect okay uh the the first thing is uh that's very very important that we shouldn't be wanting to hear something uh from the other person especially the children okay if if we are wanting to listen something let's say it's a child misbehaved and we are wanting the child to say I will not misbehave then we have lost it then there is no point of reflection right but we are more here to actually listen listen to the child whatever the child wants to say or share again saying I'm using as an example of verbal reflection. I there are nonverbal reflections also but it's important to not get logged up in in that. So that's the first don't. Um if you if you have any thought you can always jump in on the mic. This one I already said that uh you know uh we cannot see our reflection in running water or or disturbed water.

106:17 So we we need to bring that you know we it's we have we are all there with each other there is there is in that sense not disturbing the water at all. Uh the third don't uh sorry yeah let me put this one first. Yeah. The third don't is that let's say the child says which is according to you inappropriate accord according to you not the right thing so-called not the right reflection so-called not the thought that you want we are again in a hurry to fix what what if Ian says uh uh maybe my reflection is uh next time there's a fight one should hit like how I hit this time now if you go ahead and try and fix it then then that's no point. But you realize Ishan will say one thing then the dad will say one thing then the mom will say one thing and the brother will say one thing it will automatically become a mix if each one is sharing their thought the reflection is already a mix even in Ishan's mind and that is the beauty of a group reflection that is beauty of reflecting all together let's say a family together or a larger group together it automatically becomes a a mix so let it rather be different point of views because in very subtle ways, very subconscious ways it is it is being dispersed to everybody. So that's the beauty of u yeah uh the uh the reflection of a child is not for us.

107:59 It is for the child. Does that make sense? our reflection is for ourselves and the child's reflection is for the child. So somewhere we start thinking oh you know the the the you know um either the reflection is a reflection of my let's say parenting or my my way of doing things or I start thinking oh the the reflection is for me to do this or me to do that. No, no, no, no, no. Even if the child saying that I I did not like the way you did something, that does not mean that I have to now sit and think how I should be different. That's not important. It was for the child. It was the child thinking this way that he did not like let's say what you did.

108:47 Yeah. So, it's important that we keep the child's reflection is for the child. Whatever the child is thinking and saying, it is for the child, not for us. So here by reflection you mean recollection also if he's recolcting something. >> Yeah. So any recollection is always a subset of what happened and there is a reason to pick that particular collection. So by definition it's a reflection.

109:19 Why didn't I pick something else and I picked this? That itself is a reflection. But then I might think that this is something that's bothering him more than any other thing. So >> that is exactly what I'm saying. The reflection is not for you Priyanka. >> You do your own reflection. His reflection is for himself. What is this bothering him? If it's bothering him, is it good or bad? Check your beliefs.

109:51 If it is bothering him, isn't it good? He's bothered about it. He will think about it. He should be happy it is bothering him. And if if you think it's bothering too much uh somebody including yourself, you can always do another round of reflection some other time. Yeah. One more. Don't. Okay. Now, this one doesn't have a word. Now, what does that mean? What if there is quietness? Or what if the child is saying something completely random for example we if we say if we if you ask everybody okay um how how joyful was this uh uh situation let's say and let's rate out of 10 and let us say Ishan Ishan or the dad rates uh or the mom rates it's 10 out of 10 joyful let's say Ishan says it's 10 out of 10 joyful now what will be your thought if jump in. If you start saying how can it be 10 out of 10, you were hit. You were hurt. Again, when a child is saying 10 out of 10, doesn't necessarily mean that the child is thinking 10 out of 10. The child knows this part was only two out of 10. This part was only three out of 10. But right now in front of everybody, I want to say 10 out of 10.

111:14 So the 10 out of 10 is only the outside thing. But inside it's like this tree you know we only see the tree but see the roots the amounts of roots where it goes in all directions. So it's almost like this that the the child's thinking is spreading in many directions and the child may say one rating or not even say anything say I don't want to talk about this or just keep mom completely silent that doesn't mean anything because it means the reflection is still on. The reflection is not the same as talking.

111:46 The moment you asked let's say asked me I am Mishan asked me or asked all of us okay how would you rate this situation on joy I'm quiet that means the reflection is going on so this is very very important that we understand that there is a whole hidden part below the earth which we have no access to and we don't need access to let the child be child has his own ways of thinking much as we have our own thoughts. We don't share all our thoughts. In fact, we hardly share 0.1% of our day thoughts with others including all the wicked thoughts that we get in our mind.

112:34 I'm sure okay maybe you don't get wicked thought. I get lot of wicked thought. Let me not put it. Right. So, uh yeah. So, so these were some of the don'ts. Again, I'll share the slideshow so you can go through it again in more detail. Um, any anybody has any thought on any of this? Yeah, there are also lots and lots of ways in which we can do reflection. So, it's not just again if you go to the multiple intelligence, you can do a verbal reflection. You can even say a musical reflection. You can say which song have you heard or seen which fits this particular you know situation.

113:24 Now we are thinking about songs. We scrolling YouTube to find out the right appropriate song which fits in into this situation. And in that whole process we are going back and forth to the situation and picking up some salient points and matching it with a with a music. So we can pick up music, we can pick up a lot of drawing or making role playing or playing with mud, clay, sand, making things object. So reflection doesn't always need to be verbal. In fact, I I would say keep it less verbal, especially if you are with human beings.

114:02 Much better reflection happens when we reflect in many other ways which you may not be able to do online but in in your homes I'm sure you can do many many other ways and you can come up with as many ideas and you can invite your children to help you as consultant with more ideas. So I'll I'll share one little presentation also which has some some tools. So this is the uh this is the slide which tells you that I'll share you with you some tools.

114:32 What else do I want to share? Where is that one more quotation I wanted to share? Ah here it is. Yeah this is um this is such a powerful thought I would say. Now when we say talk to yourself once in a day, we not just talking about random self-t talk. We are now talking about a more designed self-t talk uh in the sense we are bringing something which will help each one of us to talk to ourselves in a different way. So when we bring a designed reflection or a planned reflection, both the words mean the same thing. We are getting people to think about themselves in many different ways.

115:24 And then you can convert it into let's say a story, a poem, an artwork, a model, a game, I don't know. There's no limit to how you can uh do reflections. Yeah. Okay. We have about 5 minutes. Let me pause. And now any question about reflection in general or any anything else related to reflection? Uh Rahin, I always had this thought. Uh I I mean I will be honest here. I see some sometimes I see myself as a stranger like I I I try to find ways how do I connect with myself? What do I talk >> and uh having gone through this session like how do I not judge myself at the same time? I'm not too liberal like like the examples that we uh discussed so far you know don't judge try to reap something that is beyond the horizon of just the outcomes like how do I do that if you could I I would not say template because I'm sure you would not give that but like if you could give some direction to this uh that would be really helpful >> but I thought I gave the template No.

116:56 What about beliefs? Start there. >> Okay. So maybe one of the interesting content of your reflection can be hey what are my beliefs in this situation whether it was Isan situation or in your case Chandra Khan your situation >> okay >> let's say let's say you were judgmental and you are thinking about it why was I judgmental today with XY Z person right so don't just think about why you were judgmental now let's say just say in that situation in that context what were my three four, five, six beliefs in play.

117:32 >> Okay? >> And then then play around with those beliefs a little and then maybe just play around. Not to change anything, not to say your beliefs are wrong or right, but now you have more beliefs. The moment you write down five and add another five to it, now you have 10 beliefs. Now let's see what this new set of new basket of 10 beliefs does to you next time round without you trying to without you trying to change anything in you.

118:00 >> Okay. >> In some ways I don't want anybody in Jagriti to change. I don't know some of you are trying hard but I'm inviting you please don't change. Why do you want to change? Just expand. Don't change your cup. Your cup is nice. Just get more cups. Okay, let's come back. Anything specific on reflection. So you can do a lot of reflection on your beliefs and again do it with others.

118:37 If possible, whomever you had the interaction, situation, conflict with call that person and sit together and do a reflection if it's possible. That's even more interesting. And throw in four, five more people. That's even more interesting. If required, call a reflection session on in in your batch and see who all joins you in your reflection, Chandra. Maybe maybe say let's do a reflection on on my judgments.

119:08 >> Sure. >> My beliefs on my whatever. Not judgments, my beliefs about me, whatever. one point uh about children and uh traumatic experiences right so I've heard this that you know sometimes it is better that we do not you know re uh trigger those uh thoughts or >> Sure that's why that's why we started where we started the session. Don't go directly into the situation. You can go you can you can reflect about a whole lot of other things without touching the situation at all. Absolutely. So that's that's very very interesting when you can actually uh uh do this without getting into a situation.

120:10 >> In fact realize okay look at it this way. If I and you let's say there are two of us okay and I have gone through a traumatic situation if you want me to reflect about it that's breaking the first code of reflection you should also be reflecting how can you reflect if only I experienced that situation >> so your prompt cannot your prompt has to be in which you can also reflect and I can also reflect otherwise it's no more a reflection it's like an interrogation or interview or whatever you want to call it. How is that a reflection? Then >> a reflection is always a together together uh you can say exploration.

120:52 It's not like a one-sided one. Hey beta you do reflection I will not do. >> So so the moment you say somebody has gone through an experience if you're going to pounce on the experience we to bring the experience in the forefront then that's not a valid reflection. Unless that person wants to do reflection on his own by himself. See doing your own self-reflection is wonderful. Many of us do we do journaling. We do I don't know different people do different do some people draw some people are doodles. Some people write some people just think about it.

121:29 Okay. Some people go and eat ice creams or go for long walks. So different people do different things right? That's for self-reflection. So that person whoever has gone through a trauma and it need not just be child and even an adult it may not be beneficial to bring the trauma into the situation. >> Yeah. So in this uh this example that we used what I was thinking is what if I ishan doesn't want to relive that bad experience.

122:03 >> That's exactly what I'm saying. You will bring up prompt and somebody will bomb it. by bomb your meaning will say no let's not do this immediately move to the next one why not see we are not hung up with a prompt we are not hung up with because we are not looking for an outcome the problem happens when we think reflection is for an outcome then that's no more a reflection okay in fact the other analogy that I like giving is this ripples you know reflection is just like a stone falling in a in a pond right If you if you let the thought drop in your head, if I drop a drop a prompt like this in your head, it'll create those ripples. That's it.

122:46 That's the job of reflection to create those ripples inside me or churning inside me. Whatever words you want to use, that's it. Once that is created, however it it grows and glows, it's okay. Okay. Anybody else?

123:24 So, uh maybe it's because I joined late today but I I'm not able to connect why we are doing the reflection on the clip maybe for an example but example >> but why are we doing reflection per se I mean how is this related to like I could understand all the other sessions how are they related somehow but uh maybe I joined late I don't know what happened in the earlier earlier moments >> can somebody help her if you >> but why are we doing I'm not able to get it why >> exactly can somebody reply to her why are we doing a session on reflection that's a very good question I need to ask myself.

124:08 I think in it is for like instead of being stuck up on a perfect definition for reflection to teach to see different aspects on how we can reflect on the same thing or see different perspectives of reflection on the same scenario or example or even in our real life time like how different ways we can reflect on what we did or uh how the situation could have changed.

124:39 um instead of being uh or doing this single one thing I think so so taking up this situation as an example we are looking off different possibilities and different situations and different thoughts from other people's too so we are having multiple reflections to think about >> are you also asking Priyanka that uh you know as you said all other sessions made lot of sense. Why this session? Why do we even need a session on reflection?

125:16 >> Yeah, just to connect it with the purpose that we came in with in Jagrati. So this is more like why how I would reflect on any situation that I face in my life. So this is more about me, right? It's like how I should reflect or how I should not judge but uh how's this related to the child? >> Oh, Jagati was related to the child till now. Okay, maybe >> no to it was to both of us.

125:48 >> I thought it was about me as well as the child. >> If you ask me, if you ask me, I can either answer this question or let's end with the story, >> right? Okay. So let which one do you choose? >> Okay, I want the story. >> Yeah, I know you want the story. Okay, so let's end with the story and you can again ask this in the WhatsApp and I'm sure there are many perspectives to it.

126:14 So, so there was this guy who you know went to his guru and he said that you know I want I don't know again I keep forgetting whether I've shared this story or not but he goes to his guru and I said he says that you know I I need some I need some revelation I need some understanding of all of this what we are trying to do and how can I get that so the the guru says oh that's very simple uh I will tell you something to do and you will get enlightenment.

126:45 So he says, "Oh, wow. Okay, finally, you know." So he says, "Okay, go and know tonight when it rains, stand in the rain." Okay. So this guy goes and stands in the rain. And next comes back and said, "Uh, Guru G, however you said, I went and I stood in the rain." Uh, so the Guruji says, "Did you lift your hands towards the heaven?" He said, "Yes, sir. I lift my hands toward the heaven just as you told me." And he says, "Okay, then what happened?" He said, "I felt like a perfect fool."

127:23 He says, "That's enlightenment." What a start. Thank you. Did that answer your question? >> Did I'm still thinking. >> That's enlightenment.

127:54 Okay, think about it. I will repost this story if you want for you to think about it. Yeah. Why in line? Reflection. Superb. Thank you for asking this question. Now I have to reflect back. Why reflection? She's reflecting on reflection. >> Oh, I have a slide on that also. Let me throw that up. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. >> See, I have >> Oh, yeah.

128:24 >> Thank you. Good night. Keep reflecting. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Oh, I don't know if I'll be able to sleep, but thank you. >> Thank you. Good night. Bye-bye. >> Thank you everyone for sharing so much and being you know very open about things. It really helps. Thanks. >> Thank you everyone. Thank you Resh.