The Difference Between Consequences & Punishments

0:00 so what that is is there's a difference between punishments and consequences remember this skill is not called uh number seven punishments it's called number seven the power of intention and consequences so we talked about times we made mistakes and I've had all those and I've done them over and over again and then I've actually done some things and I've actually changed as any body

0:30 actually had a consequence and go okay I need to take back and look at that I need to maybe adjust some things anybody done that okay so the difference between uh consequences that are effective and actually have you learned from mistakes and the consequences you repeat over and over again is when you beat yourself up when you use punishment instead of

1:02 consequences so punishment have the goal of you to feel bad about what you've done okay so if the goal is for you to feel bad about what you've done the goal is for to push you down into the lower centers of your brain get down there and feel horrible about yourself feel bad and get down here into the lower Center of your brain and now change in the lower centers of your brain is where you're making Fast reactive things

1:34 you don't even know you did to after you've done them changes up there and here you stand and you're like I don't know how I'm going to do that consequences say the goal of them is to have you reflect on the impact and choose to change if you want punishment feel bad consequences be conscious of the impact of that on you and others you see

2:06 the difference and as long as we confuse those terms and when kids make a mistake we want to punish them they're going to be down here in a mental model repeating repeating repeating repeating if we want them to learn from their consequences we've got to get them up here so they can reflect on that consequence on what it was on me and others either in my family or my school or my community everybody see the

2:39 difference and that's important because you have to do that power of choice in the middle here do you want them to learn from their mistakes or feel bad for making them and that's what you that's the question you're saying do I want you right now just to feel like a worm of the Earth or do I want you actually to learn something from this and possibly change that's your choice and neither of them are bad or good it's

3:03 just different outcomes does everybody understand that I haven't all the stuff I've said this time there I haven't said and this is the best way to do it it's just be aware once we understand the brain once we understand Consciousness it's just a different outcome and what we've been doing is blindly getting the outcomes we don't want and wondering why life is better for others and it's choices