# Beyond Summer Boredom: Creating Rhythms With Your Kids In Mind **Creator:** Connected Families **Platform:** youtube **Duration:** 35m **Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E ## Summary Stacy Bellward hosts a discussion on the Connected Families podcast about navigating summer with kids, featuring certified parent coaches Nicole Gillette and Lisa Sto. They explore the emotional complexities of summer, share practical strategies for establishing routines, and emphasize the importance of flexibility and self-awareness in parenting during this chaotic season. - Summer can evoke mixed feelings for parents, balancing excitement with the challenges of unstructured time. - Establishing routines helps children feel secure; however, flexibility is crucial when plans change. - Parents should focus on their own needs and emotions to better support their children during summer. - Engaging children in decision-making and using questions can facilitate smoother transitions and reduce conflict. - Quiet time and structured activities like library visits can help maintain a sense of order. - Recognizing and addressing sibling conflict is important, and parents should view challenges as opportunities for growth. - The podcast concludes with a devotional emphasizing faith during chaotic times and the importance of seeking God's guidance. ## Transcript [[0:00]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=0s) [Music] Hi friends, welcome back. I'm Stacy Bellward, the host of the Connected Families podcast. Welcome to our community. We are people committed to pursuing God's grace and truth for ourselves and then daily working to pass that grace and truth on to our children. I'm so glad that you are here today. Well, hey, which camp are you in? Do you love summer break with the kids? Or are you feeling more like it's a nightmare and so hard to manage everything all day long? Well, I know we have people in both camps listening in today. But either way, summer does bring new challenges of how to organize daily life and big opportunities for learning. [[0:45]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=45s) Today I have two connected family certified parent coaches with me to talk about summer routines, how to be flexible and change the plan when it's not working. And I'm really excited about this part. You are going to want to stay and listen to the end because I added a fiveinut bonus kind of devotional at the end of our conversation. Our founder, Lynn Jackson, has a message just for you, parents and caregivers, when summer is feeling like a mighty chaotic storm. We haven't done this before, but our team just loves it when Lynn comes into our staff meetings and gives a devotional. So, I wanted to share one with you today, too. I'll put it, as I said, at the end of the show. [[1:31]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=91s) Okay, everybody, let me introduce my guests. After working for over a decade in a wide variety of schools, Nicole Gillette now focuses on equipping adults with tools for connection, communication, and confidence as they raise and love the kids in their lives. She supports a nonprofit that provides playbased learning opportunities. Her and her husband have two kids. All right, the second one is Lisa Sto. She's a wife and a foster and adoptive mama of three kiddos who are 6, 6 and 1/2, and 7 years old. Her house is active and noisy. Along with her parent coaching company, she is the host of the podcast called Mom's Take 10. So, hi Nicole. [[2:16]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=136s) Welcome to the podcast. Hello. Good to have you. And Lissa, welcome. Hey Stacey. So happy to be here. So great to have both of you. connected families, certified parent coaches, and moms. We're all in the thick of summer right now, aren't we? We are. We are. Um, so, hey, when my kids were little, summertime was the time when I would buy one box of corn dogs from Costco. It was the only box I would buy the entire year. [[2:49]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=169s) It was like the summer food that was just like the the h food, you know? I don't want to eat this all year, but it was like when we need to, summertime's the time for a corn dog. Do you guys have any foods like that that you're just like summertime? There's a We'll just like lean into like being a little edgy with some food. Do you have anything like that? We go to um we have a season pass to an amusement park. It's like a smaller amusement park. And I just bought the slushie cup so we can get cheap slushy refills whenever we go. And the kids are like ecstatic cuz I did not do that last year. Last year it was just water. So we are embracing the slushie this summer. [[3:37]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=217s) I love it. I love how food can just be so exciting to kids and adults alike. Ice cream. We eat a lot of ice cream over the summer. We also do where we let the kids pick a summer snack. So when we go grocery shopping and they keep it in their cabinets. So I think my sons wear pretzels and my daughter, she picked those turtle they were like the cheddar crackers that are turtles. Oh yeah, that's such a fun idea. I like that. [[4:04]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=244s) Summertime is definitely the time for like the the basket of snacks, right? because you're constantly filling up the tote bag on the way to the beach or the pool or the friend's house or the playground or just something. And yeah, love that. Well, we get to talk about summertime and I know I said it in the intro, but there's a lot of emotion around summer. Some of us, I think Lay and I, you for sure, we're like, "Yay, it's summer." Nicole, I don't know, you seemed a little bit more moderate. [[4:32]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=272s) Everyone's like their lifestyle and their work life balance also affects how they feel about summer. We I get that, right? But let's just start off with the question like when you think about summer, how do you feel? Maybe even how do community members or people that you've coached, what's the sentiment around summer? Nicole, why don't you start? Summer is a tricky time of year for me personally and also I think other people that I've met and have been friends with and things like that. I think that because I come from education and being a teacher and a lot of my friends are in similar worlds. When we were teaching, we would approach summertime as well before me personally before I had kids. I would love summer because it was a break, a time to step away from work and really look looked forward to it in that sense. But once I had kids, I saw it in a very different light because it was a time that was not structured and so much of our summertime changed what our daily life looked like. [[5:37]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=337s) And so I think I felt this need to make a structure and have to care for others in that way. And so it has been a challenge. I I do love summertime weather and all the summertime things that we can do, but I do think it it's hard that it's hard sometimes. And I think that a lot of people that I've been in contact with do feel similarly. So, I take uh comfort in that I'm not alone. Summertime is great, though. [[6:02]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=362s) Melissa, how about you? Oh, Stacy, summer is my favorite time of year. I love it. So, we live in the Midwest. I hate the cold. I'll just put it that way. I hate the cold. And so to finally like get to summer is just like all the vitamin D just makes my body so happy. And I think that I don't know it's just become this really sweet time for my kids too where we don't have the the stress of the school year. Um school can be very challenging for my kiddos. And so to have kind of just that time where like they're not fighting to learn, right? They're not fighting to manage their body in a seat. They're not having to fight to interact with all of the other kiddos. Like there's they can come and just kind of breathe more and I get to breathe with them. I just have come to just really Yeah. just to really appreciate summer. Although I was recognizing in myself just even yesterday cuz we have some big things that are coming this summer that I've been like dreaming about and planning about for months and and I told Jonathan I was like my husband I've switched from the dreaming to the anxiety stage where I'm like it hasn't kicked like it hasn't happened yet and so now I'm like did I get everything in order? Did I do everything? What's supposed to happen? [[7:20]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=440s) Like have I thought through it all? And so recognizing in me like even as I'm excited for some of these things to come, some of the anxiety can come as well of will it be successful? Have I thought through it all? Um will they like it? etc. But so it's a little bit of a of a mixed in the immediate moment as we're facing a trip really soon. But in the in the overall scheme of it, it's just really fun opportunity for connection is kind of how I view it in our household. So, well, that kind of leads me to the next question that I think is important. We want to give lots of ideas of maybe how to set up summer. [[7:56]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=476s) I know it's kind of the middle of summer, but what do you guys do? What do I do to set our kids up for success ourselves, our family up? Um, think think through that and then adjust in the middle of summer when things start crumbling a little bit and we need to go back to the drawing board, right? Because that will happen. So, we're going to get there, but I think that first we need to start with some of our beliefs. And you're kind of just mentioning some of them, Lisa, that it's just a time where we can now step back from the stress of the school year and realize that there's a slower pace. So, um, let's go there. Beliefs about summer. Nicole, why don't you start? [[8:35]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=515s) Yeah, I was thinking the same thing as you were talking, Lisa, about how you were stepping back and thinking what's going on in me in this moment. And I think that that has been very helpful for me because over the past couple years I have been able to do that and think what's going on in me as summertime approaches. And I think I had to do some honest work of realizing this used to be a really sweet break time for me before becoming a mom. Now it's it's changed where it doesn't look exactly the same anymore. But also seeing this beauty in the fact that it it can still be that. It just is in a different way now. And so I think asking what's going on in me is really a helpful way to set up for the summer. I also think that when I get my answer of what is going on in me and then I take that piece of information or multiple pieces of information and then I have to think, okay, so then now if I feel these things going on in me or I recognize this, what can I do to make sure that my kids still feel loved and they know that they are going to be able to have fun this summer? What do I do to take care of myself to make sure that I can remember the the truth around what it can look like to have a restful break while also in the midst of parenting? Nicole, I think I hear you saying this isn't going to be a rest. I used to have a rest when I was a teacher and I didn't have kids and summer was so wonderful. I could like go to a lake all day and now I have kids and this is not restful. [[10:05]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=605s) Did I just read something into that? That's right. So, reframing that and how can I still get what I need, get the rest I need, but set the family up and the kids up. That's good work. How about you, Lisa? What were some of the beliefs that that you paid attention to yourself and what what you were believing and thinking about summer? I think that I can sometimes go the opposite way where I get so excited about it and I'm like I have all these really fun ideas and these things that that I just want to do and be and I'm like you get to just be free and and then when they're still children and stillselves and and we bring some of our junk that we've experienced in the school year into the summer I'm like what? That's not welcome here. Like that is not allowed. you are that that is ruining what like how can you be crabby on a day like today? And so just like we we still have the freedom and the permission to be ourselves and that's the messy and the beautiful like it's all of it all at once whether the the sun is shining or whether it's rainy and giving each other the space for that. And so sometimes, yeah, I have to temper my own exuberance about it with like, okay, I still get to be here and be present and be be working through things with my kiddos also. But also too, I think as excited as I am about summer, we still have certain things. I know we're going to talk more specifically, but we still have certain routines or schedules that we maintain all year round. And sometimes that can then clashes a little bit with like friends inviting us to stay out super late or friends wanting us to come and do that. I'm like that's actually just not a really good setup for us. And so sometimes I feel like that that pressure or that tension of like, well, you let your kids stay up so much later and my kids know how to read the clock now and so they recognize that they're not staying up as late and and just that pull of um kind of external pressures and reminding myself of like no, like we just get to take care of our family however best that looks. Um and having kind of the freedom to meet my kids needs. Yeah. Despite what that schedule might look like for somebody else. So, I can go I can ping pong, Stacy. That's right. Well, summer is pingpong. And I actually all of life is, right? We're just always kind of re-evaluating. [[12:32]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=752s) So, let's move into kind of being intentional around summer. And I had some beliefs that then led to me doing that inner work of what's going on in me, but also thinking through how do I want to set us up then this summer? because I wanted to think through kind of a number of of layers. Actually, I remember sitting down with a notebook and thinking about my kids didn't have phones. It was back when there wasn't like smartphones, right? I knew bored, the word bored. We're going to talk about that a little bit later, but that was going to come up. I'm bored. What are we going to do? So, one of my beliefs was that I don't need to make sure I don't need to be the fun master and make sure that my kids were having fun all of the time. I didn't need to own that responsibility. [[13:23]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=803s) And so then what could I do to help them own their own fun, their own choices in the day? And so I spent quite a bit of time thinking through that. I also thought about summer in terms of like this is maybe when my kids were a bit older than both of your kids. I'd say 10, 11. I would think about summertime like what do I want to teach my kids now that I don't have time to teach them during the school year when they're at school. So maybe there's just a few basic chores that went on during the school year. So then what's maybe an added chore? like is this the summer that maybe one of them could start mowing the grass or you know ask them some or maybe there were actually times I would ask them what one extra chore would you like to take on this summer like a bigger chore something you haven't done before that shows you're now growing up you're taking new responsibility another one was cooking like let's learn how to cook one or two meals that you guys can have it's like build your repertoire for that so I would think through these layers of like what do I want to teach them? What about their spiritual life? And I just go through these these categories and start to think about how I wanted to set them up. So I know like Lisa, you talked about the pace of life changes and margin. So what are some thoughts that you have on how you've set your family up for summer just really practically and then I'll come to you Nicole. Yeah. [[14:56]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=896s) So, I think there's a couple of things that we've done. Um, one is we've been pretty intentional about kind of what our our bigger activities are. So, we have we have a pool pass and we have a pass to the amusement park. And both of those things are regulating activities for my children, which is really, really important. We have a lot of sensory needs over here. We have a lot of there's just a lot that happens in this house. And so finding activities that are fun and external, but also that are regulating for them are really important to us. And so that's kind of where we make those those many investments in. [[15:38]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=938s) But then also just even with that, we need to have quiet time pretty much every day. Um we do like our bedtime is still 7:00 at night, which I know some people are like, "What? It's summer. That's crazy." remind everybody the ages of your kids. Yeah, my kiddos, they're very close in age. I have a six, a six and a half, and a seven-year-old. And so, our bedtime is still 7:00. This week is an exception because we have late night VBS, but for the most part, we really guard that very carefully because otherwise we fall apart and it's just it's not worth it in that regard. And so even if we're going out and we're doing things or we're just biking around, we're just really mindful of how do we resource them? How do we help them be as successful as they can in what we're asking them to do or even inviting them to do? And maybe like today, today became a pajama and hair day, right? It was going to be a pool day and it was like, nope, actually we have just been doing too much the past couple days and we need to we need to reduce that. And so yeah, finding finding those ways and those things that um help them succeed and have fun is yeah has been really important for us and it makes it more fun for the things that we actually go and do. Yeah. How about you Nicole? I agree on so much of that. We have blocked out or chunked out our days. So we have what's important to us and then kind of have a loted different parts of the day for it. We have some sensory needs in our home as well. And I I am right there with you with we definitely need some quiet time. We need some time outside. We need some time in nature. [[17:18]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1038s) Those are big big things for us. And so something that's been helpful to me again might have been just how I've operated in past parts of my life, but I make that block scheduling of thinking, okay, so each day we're going to spend the mornings outside. the middle of the day, we'll come in for lunch and then um we'll have some quiet time after and then the afternoons might be some time doing art or reading, things like that that my kids enjoy. And uh I think at the same time though, it's so important to be flexible and have that grace along with it where like you said, today turned into pajamas and hair instead of doing something else. And that is just how it's going to be so often. So being flexible with it with like, okay, well, it's raining right now in the morning and so we're not going to go outside like we had planned. We're going to swap what we were doing or maybe we have some family in town or friends we want to see. So being flexible with that. But I think that with the age of my kids, they're a bit younger, so they're four and five. It is really important to keep somewhat of a routine because we will just really struggle. I think when so much has changed already, like we're preschool is not happening, kindergarten is not happening right now, but um we're going to do all these different fun things because it's summer, but we will keep the structure as much of the same as we can with like the mornings typically look like this. So, we're we always have quiet time around this time. [[18:41]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1121s) I think that it's helpful to do that throughout the week, too, with different days. It can be fun. So, we always go to the library on Mondays, and so that's helpful, too. It helps them kind of orient what's going on through the week and track time that way, which I have found to be very grounding and calming for my kids and honestly for me too. We love the library. The library is so good. We have totally had our seasons of scheduling to and I think that there's there's permission to us as parents, right, to to have the days be what it be. And for us, there was one year where that was you're going to day camp. Why? [[19:16]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1156s) because you need to have that level of scheduling and I could try to maintain that here but that's every half hour shifting something that gets a little bit exhausting and so finding things you know even if it's external being able to yeah to set it position ourselves for success with our kids and yeah that's so helpful I think what I'm hearing you guys say is that you're looking at your kids the stage that they're in and you're really thinking about what do they need what do their bodies need? [[19:46]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1186s) What do their brains need? And how does that match with what I need and what I can provide right now? And how can I set up our days and our rhythms in ways that really cause us all to work together best? Yeah. You guys, we're going to run to a break, but when we come back, I want to ask you like what happens when things go bad? You know, they are the hard of the day. What are the hard moments of your day? [[20:16]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1216s) That's what I That's what I want to know. Like, how do you adjust? How do you think about that? What What if you have a kiddo that just struggles with the change of plan? Cuz I'm guessing maybe between all the kids, one of them does in this crew. Okay, we're going to come back to all of that and more questions, but let's run to a break. Did you imagine your kids would be best friends with a house full of laughter, fun, and cute memory making moments? [[20:47]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1247s) Maybe especially during summertime. Well, yet here you are struggling with constant fighting, badgering, and teasing. I know, I relate to that. Well, I feel you, friend. Sibling conflict is real. Connected Families teaches parents the peace process in our sibling conflict online course. Listen, the inevitable conflict between your kids could actually strengthen their relationship. It's possible. I've lived it. So, hey, consider checking out the Sibling Conflict online course right now because for the next couple of weeks, for a limited time only, instead of being $35, we put it down to $19. [[21:29]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1289s) You can use the coupon code SIB19 S IB19 to receive the Sibling conflict course for only $19. And if you're a table member, part of that community or if you join today, we want to say thank you for your monthly support by sending you free access, one for you and one to share with a friend to the Sibling conflict course. Hey, you could do it together, right? Then when you're on a play date and the kids kind of get into skirmishes, you can practice together. I love it. Hey, the peace process is really catchy. It's fun. You can remember it. You can teach it to your kids. It will be an important tool for your whole family. All the information is in the show notes. Grab your $19 deal today. Use code SIB19. SIB19. [[22:25]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1345s) All right. Well, I'm here after the break with Nicole Gillette and Lisa Sto. I'm so grateful to have both of you connected families parent coaches here talking about summertime and we've already given just I a lot of like real we're being real here with with summer and life and the kids and also giving some tips. So, I hope parents are getting lots of ideas of things you can take home. woman. I also just want to add, you guys, if you're listening, don't forget we have this awesome little 5-minute bonus that I'm going to tag on at the end. And it's Lynn Jackson, our co-founder. She did a beautiful little devotional that's just for some time. I think you're going to love it. And you heard the break. We're talking about sibling conflict right now. So Nicole and Lissa, we're going to be back again next week talking about sibling conflict. So, we're not touching on it right now because you guys, the question I told you I was going to ask you is like, "What happens when things go bad?" [[23:21]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1401s) And I know all the people listening are like, "Yeah." Like, they haven't talked about how much my kids are fighting this summer. We're going to get there. It's next week. Sibling Catholic just reel in the summer. Yeah. So, let's just start with that. Like, what's the struggle of summer for you and your family? I think one of the biggest struggles is that we're just together a lot more and we can get on top of each other in the spaces of our home a bit more. I also have found that we might be in the car a bit more if we are going to go do fun things and maybe see family or go on trips. And those are really hard times for us sometimes in our family. [[24:03]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1443s) Transitions especially can be really tough. even if we're not going on a trip or anything like that, but say we're just going to go to the playground down the road. Just even transitioning out the house to make sure that we have our water bottles and everybody's shoes are on and this person wants to bring a bike, but this person just wants to walk. So, I think that that is something that comes up a lot too in summer because we might be a bit out of routine or we might be like, "Hey, let's go to the park today." When that might not, you know, be a typical thing during the school year. And so, let me bump in there a second. Like how do you deal with that then? Because I mean I've heard moms say this is why summer is such a pain. Like it's we can't even get out of the house without fights. I just want to stay home then. Like cuz it's so much work. Yeah. How would you respond to that or how do you even deal with that in yourself? Well, first I would acknowledge that you know what, it's okay to also just realize maybe we are just going to stay home because I have found that in the past I've planned too much or thought, okay, well, today we have to do this or this week we want to get these three things done or go these three places. And if you're feeling like it's not necessary or it's not going well or it's not maybe meeting all of the family's needs, that's totally fine to just decide, hey, we're actually going to stay home instead. But if it is some something you really want to do or you have planned and it's hard to get out the house and again my kids are younger but I have found this to be really helpful in when I've worked with older kids and also with different family members kids who are a bit older or friends and and things like that to model and narrate through transitions. [[25:35]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1535s) It's really helpful. So, even when you think that it's maybe really obvious or something that we know how to do or we've done it a bunch of times, maybe down to, okay, so in a minute we're going to go outside to go get our stuff for the playground. What do we need first? Asking them those questions. Our shoes. That's right. Where are they? They're over here. What What's going to happen? Say you both go over there to get your shoes at the same time. It might feel tight, right? Talking them through it. And then even watch me do it first and then walking over. What did you notice about how I did that? Stuff like that has been I have found to be really helpful even when it seems very obvious. Yeah, I love that you're speaking my language because you know we have the power of questions course here at connect to families. I love that approach, right? Instead of the you need your shoes, where's your shoes? Get them on. Get your water bottle. No, where is it? It just engages their brain and then we're working together to get out the door. Changes the tone. And this is really helpful too because I have found when I will be not when I'm not ready myself yet and so say I'm like still washing some dishes and calling a cross over my shoulder at them to go get their shoes on. [[26:45]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1605s) They they feel and respond differently when you're present with them. And I know that's hard sometimes and I know it's you have to be multitasking sometimes and different stages call for different things. But if you do find your kids are struggling with that, it it's really helpful to make sure you're all set. It's kind of like the foundation piece. like I'm all I'm good to go now. I can be fully present to help them through the transition. So that's that's something else that helps. [[27:11]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1631s) That's good. Lisa, what's been hard for you this summer? Yeah. Well, conflict, right? So, we're going to get to that, but I think little sneak peek thought here, Stacy, is reminding that conflict is not bad, right? And challenge isn't necessarily bad, right? And when things get hard, it's not bad. And so I think that just kind of reminding myself of the same things that we're reminding ourselves all year round really and that we talk about a lot on connected families. Lynn's famous question, right? [[27:41]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1661s) What's the opportunity here? And even for me, you know, uh Nicole, you're kind of talking about sometimes needing to pull the plug, which I I've I've had to do that like today, but also sometimes I feel that tension to want to pull the plug and I'm reminding myself you just need to get through this. there's there's good on the other side of this and just continue to work through. Don't don't give up and don't take this away in anger cuz I could do that. That's fine. We're not going, you know, like that's not helpful, right? That's me, you know, flipping my own lid and just trying to protect myself from like make this stop. But I think instead just having to kind of just constantly resource myself on what good could be and good could look like and how sometimes it is working through the challenge. That's actually the good and what should be happening even more than getting to the park. But there's good on the other side. There's even good in the middle. Journeying yourself through that. knowing when to when to push through and when to pull back. And that's kind of a craft, maybe not a science, but check in, right? It's a time for us to check in with ourselves, our kids, and the Lord because we can ask him for guidance even in those those simple things of is this too much, Lord, right now, or should we push through and all learn a lesson from it? Like, which one? Yeah. Yeah. which which is really a good segue because I'm so excited about the last five minutes of this podcast which is just going back to the Lord for perspective on our summer. And so I'm excited for everyone to hear Lynn's little little devotional teaching about when the disciples were in the boat out on the water with Jesus and Jesus was sound asleep and they were like, "Jesus, did you forget us?" [[29:30]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1770s) I can imagine there's some moms, dads, caregivers out there like, "Help me. I am in right now with these kids and it's going crazy in this house." So stay tuned everybody. We are gonna we are going to press play on that little five minute devotional in just a second. But let me just say thanks to you, Lisa, and to Nicole for being with me today. I can't wait to come back and we're going to have a conversation around sibling conflict. We're gonna give an overview of the peace process that's taught in the sibling conflict online course. So, do you guys use it? Yes. Yes, we do. [[30:07]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1807s) Yes. Looking forward to that conversation. Yeah. Yes. Good. So, I'm so grateful for both of you to be with me today. It was so good to be here, Stacy. Thank you. Yes. Thank you for having us. Our founder, Lynn Jackson, has a message just for you, parents and caregivers. when summer is feeling like a mighty chaotic storm. The story of Jesus calms a storm is in all the synoptic gospels, but I'm reading through Luke right now. So, that's the one that I read. One day, Jesus says to his disciples, "Let's go over to the other side of the lake." So, they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down the on the lake so that the boat was being swamped and they were in great danger. [[30:49]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1849s) The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, master, we're going to drown." He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters. The storm subsided and all was calm. Where's your faith? He asked his disciples in fear and amazement. They asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds in the water and they obey him." And as I was just praying about kind of what to do for a devotional, I thought, you know, at the transition to summer, it can just feel like a crazy storm has hit the family. and all the kids are home and the sibling conflict rises and just all the all the stress and so I thought you know it' be good to look at this scripture and I noted two things in the disciples responses in the various versions of this and the the first one is in Luke and in Matthew where disciples are catastrophizing we are going to drown uh at least in Matthew they said Lord save us we are going to drown So how often do we catastrophize? [[31:50]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1910s) It's like this is going to be horrible or you know just this is going nowhere good. You know just like we just picture the most negative outworking sequence of events from our situation right there. So that's just one thing to think about. You know as you start to react to the craziness to the storm in your family are you catastrophizing? are you extrapolating it into this awful place? And so to recognize that was not helpful for the disciples. And then the second one is just in the in the craziness doubting God's care. And in Mark 4 it says, "Don't you care if we drown?" [[32:34]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=1954s) It's like, can you imagine Jesus? He's so exhausted. He's totally asleep. And the disciples are shaking him going, "Don't you care if we drown?" So just really doubting God's care. If you love and the underlying belief is if you loved me, life wouldn't be hard of course is not a factual belief, but we kind of have that belief. So instead, and this is where I just feel like the some of the basic questions that we equip parents with come in really to be helpful. What's going on in me? and the one that Lydia added for us. What do I need from the Lord right now? And so I could picture the disciples going, we're overwhelmed, but you can help us. And I think of what a response of faith that would be. And then to just listen for guidance with expectancy that the Lord will guide you through the craziness. [[33:28]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=2008s) And then the second thing is just an awareness of the spiritual warfare that might be happening. Because in these stories, it was a sudden furious storm that came up on the way to the Jesus setting the gathering demoniac free. And you can imagine Satan was like, "What? He's gone over here? No, that's our guy." You know, and it says he rebuked the winds and the waves. And so was he rebuking Satan in that? And then just the the faith to lean into, you know, where is God calling you despite the storms? Not losing sight of Lord, what are you wanting to accomplish in our summer? And you know, how what are your purposes for our family this summer? And seeing the purpose and then recognizing times that might be some spiritual warfare to obstruct you from that purpose. So, those were just my thoughts about Jesus calming the storm, you know, not like it's going to be placid sea for our summers, but just learning from the the disciples and what they might have done differently and how we can walk through stormy times, coming to the Lord, what's going on in me and what do I need from the Lord? and then just keeping ourselves attuned to the spiritual warfare that might be involved and God's ultimate purposes in just what he's calling us to in this season of life in this summer. Thanks for tuning in today, friends. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with other parents in your community. Text them the link. Share it on social. We're all in this together and we need to support each other. All right, for more information about Connected Families, follow us on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, or go to connectedfamilies.org. [[35:26]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjvOx7bcu3E&t=2126s) I will see you next time.