I Am Angry

0:00 I feel violated. I feel like this is wrong. I feel like my boundary has been taken advantage of. I feel helpless. All those sentiments are probably correct, but being angry is not the answer. A sense of anger makes us feel righteous. It gives us a sense of power and dominance, because actually, we're feeling really helpless, and that terrifies us. So in order to mask that terror, we put on this front of anger.

0:31 Anger allows us to boost ourselves with this false sense of purpose and passion. And we love to get angry with them because we're trying to tell them, hey, you're not in power. I am. But that's what anger really is. It's really a mask for the utter helplessness that we're feeling within us, especially when someone has violated us. So anger is really a powerful messenger. If we can understand what anger is trying to tell us, then we can use the anger for transformation.

1:03 Take that feeling beneath the anger, that sense of being violated, that sense of something inappropriate has happened. Take that and grow from it. Understand that there has been something done to you that you allowed that you were part of, and now you need to take that power back. So there are many ways to take power back. A civil rights activist takes power back by going on a peace march or by changing the law, or by speaking to their community leaders.

1:32 A woman in an abusive relationship, she can take power back by changing her boundaries, by speaking up for herself, by saying no, or by leaving the relationship. A parent can take power back by becoming clear about their direction, by becoming clear about their communication, by having clear boundaries. You see, there are many ways that we can take power back, but being angry and staying stuck in anger is only going to toxify us. We need to go beneath the anger, understand how our power was given away by us, and how we need to reclaim that power.

2:06 Anger is like a hot coal with the intention to throw it at someone else, but the only one it burns is you. Anger is normal. It's a natural part of human existence. It comes from helplessness. And it's here to transform us, to take clearer, more conscious action in our lives. So if you or someone you know is really struggling with their anger and they just can't let go of it, maybe you can share this video with them.

2:36 And I'd love to hear your thoughts about how you have dealt with your anger below.