Game-Changing Family Ministry Ideas for Churches of Any Size

0:00 [Music] Hey friends, welcome back. I'm Stacy Bellward, the host of the Connected Families podcast. Welcome to our community. We are people committed to pursuing God's grace and truth for ourselves and then daily working to pass that grace and truth on to our children. I'm so glad that you are here today. Well, today is going to be so fun. Our online studio here on Zoom today is full. It's really fun. I have three guests who are joining me because I want to hear and I think you will be interested to hear about how ministries like schools, churches, social service organizations, mental health workers are supporting their families through a partnership with connected families. So today I have Cindy Wilson. She is on staff here at Connected Families. She's joining me. Hey Cindy.

0:50 >> Hey Stacy. Thanks so much for having me. >> So glad you're on. You're gonna kind of co-host today. Today we're going to take turns asking questions of our guests, but let me I know you've been on the podcast before, but I want you to just quick introduce yourself. What's your role here? Yeah. So, I have been on staff here for almost two years. I currently serve as the ministry partnership and research program manager for connected families, but prior to joining our awesome team here, I served in children and family ministries in churches for over 20 years. also uh am an academic working as a researcher. But yeah, I'm just so excited to be back on the podcast today and talking about our ministry partnership program. Oh, I'm excited about that. But I think we need to give our audience just a little touch about the research section because you're also heading that up. Can you say just a sentence or two about what we're doing in the research world right now?

1:43 >> Yeah, I'd love to. I'm super excited about that. So, we've heard for years from folks about just the transformation that connected families content has made in their families. So, we have a lot of anecdotal evidence about the impact, but we want to collect real empirical evidence, like real hard data about the impact this is making on families. So, we're going to be launching a whole research program to start building an evidence base and to show the world that not only are we biblically rooted. We're evidenceinformed, but we're also evidence-based, like we have real hard evidence to show this really impacts families and for generations to come.

2:21 >> Oh, good. And that's like what you do in your day job, right? This is kind of your side job. So, you are the perfect person to launch that. So excited about that. And where it's going to take connected families in the future. Okay. But now the question is I know that we've been on this journey of about three years of developing our ministry partnership program. We like to start small and just see which doors God opens and work through it. And now we are at full launch stage. But Cindy, would you tell us like what was the heart behind putting together a pretty big program here at connected families? Yeah. So even before I joined, uh the staff had started praying about how could we better support organizations like churches, schools, other nonprofit Christian ministries. How could we better support them as they are supporting and equipping parents in their ministries? We've been hearing for many years from organizations who wanted to go even deeper than just providing an online course here or there to their parents. They really wanted to adopt connected families framework and the resources as their go-to resource for parents. And so we developed this ministry partnership program to do that to help equip and support these organizations as they support their families. And so we've been doing this for a couple years now. It's growing.

3:43 And we're excited today to hear from one of our ministry partnerships at Mercy Hill. Excited to talk to Megan and Justie. That's right. We're going to bring them in in just a second, but I can hear all kinds of parents listening. That's our audience all around the world. And maybe they're not decision makers in their church or in their ministry. Cindy, why should they keep listening? I think every church and school and organization could benefit from more resources for equipping their families. And maybe you're not a ministry leader or decision maker, but every organization needs parenting champions. So maybe you're listening and you've been a a follower of connected families content and you know that more families in your church or school would benefit from these resources. So I encourage you to keep listening so that maybe you could be that champion that could take this information to your pastor or school administrator and encourage them to consider a partnership with connected families.

4:39 >> Love it. You said that so well and we're going to have links in the show notes so you could tap through and pass that link on to whoever you want to know more about connected families. Okay, let's introduce our guests. >> Awesome. Go ahead. Go ahead, Cindy. >> Awesome. Yeah, I would love to introduce our guests. We have two good friends of connected families here. Two folks that are associated with Mercy Hill Church. First, we have Justy Vavra. Jesse is passionate about guiding the next generation, sharing God's grace and truth, and nurturing a spirit of connection and growth within her own family and in her community. Uh Justy was an elementary education teacher and currently serves as executive pastor at Mercy Hill Church. So, welcome Justy.

5:25 >> Thank you. I'm so honored to be here. I'm really excited to get to talk about the partnership today. >> So glad to have you on here. >> And we have Megan Thorp. Megan has been on staff here at Connected Families. She was one of our coach trainers. So, she is a connected family certified parent coach and now she's working for a counseling center called Freedom Center, which is just so sweet for us because it was started by some other certified parent coaches and they're getting together and God is just doing his thing with them and through them. And so, we just bless that work. And welcome, Megan. We're glad to have you on again.

6:01 >> Thank you. I love being here. Glad to be back. >> Yeah. So good. Okay. Megan and Justy, you guys tell me the connection between Mercy Hill and like frame it for us. Megan, why are you on the show and Justie's on the show, but Justy's on staff at Mercy. Can Megan, could you start and just explain that? >> Oh, yeah. I'll try and condense it as much as possible. I was on staff at Mercy Hill Church for 11 years. And so as when I was on staff at church um is kind of when our unofficial partnership with connected families began because I um started to be take the certified parent coaching program. And so as I was doing that, that's how we got more closely connected with connected families as I was just learning more about it and we wanted to really better equip the parents at church. So that's kind of why I'm here and how I'm a part of Mercy Hill and connected families and just so honored and blessed to be able to say that I'm with both of them.

6:58 >> Oh, good. >> And then for me, like I think as Megan has transitioned out of her staff at Mercy Hill, the baton was passed for me to carry in terms of the partnership. And I would say that Megan's like the master and I'm the student. I'm like the great learner of connected families and it's it's a joy to get to still partner together. Megan still attends our church and so we still have that relationship and connection and so it is kind of a baton passing of how this partnership looks today even.

7:25 >> Well, I'm so glad that you accepted that baton and you are continuing the good work that the Lord started through Megan. So Justy, I would just love for you to start by telling us more about Mercy Hill Church. Tell us about the families you serve. Like what does it look like there in your community? maybe what are some of the unique parenting challenges that you see families facing? >> Yeah, Mercy Hill is a church of approximately 300 people. We're growing right now. We're in Minnetonka. Lots of young families. So, we're growing as new people check out the church and we're growing as babies are born. Like, we're just having a lot of new new faces here in our community. And our church motto is striving after relationship and not religion, which it I feel like fits so beautifully with connected families and this idea of connection. And I would say connection and authentic relationships really are strengths of our community.

8:18 When it comes to parenting challenges, you know, this feels really unique to each family and their situations. And I have had the honor and I know Megan has had well as has had well to be part of so many personal conversations with parents over the years about their families and the celebrations and the struggles and the different needs that parents feel like they have. I would say we see things with sibling conflict, the unique needs of sensitive and intense kiddos, just battles with screen time, living a busy and full life for so many of our families and wanting to have that time to connect. And yeah, another note is just a lot of messages. I think parents are not sure where to go and what information to trust and there's a lot of messages out there for parents right now and so it has been beautiful to have a framework to point them to.

9:06 >> There's so much great content out there for parents and yeah, helping parents to know what they can trust and pointing them to resources that that they can rely on. I know from the many years that I was in ministry, almost as much as helping parents with the disciplehip of their kids and just pointing them to Jesus in day-to-day life, I was faced daily with questions about how do I handle discipline challenges or like you said, sibling conflict. So, I'm so glad that y'all have adopted connected families framework and our resources to help with these parenting challenges.

9:37 >> Okay, Megan, what drew Mercy to partner with connected families? What made you realize you needed like more intentional parenting support for your church staff and families? Jesse just mentioned you seem like a pretty typical church community. Those challenges are pretty similar all around the world. But but why was it a partnership with connected families that you felt the church needed? Well, I guess you could kind of say the writing was on the wall because when you come to Mercy Hill Church, we used to have this giant sign that said, you know, Mercy Hill Church equips and strengthens families. Something along that line. And at one point, I think Justine and I were like, I don't think we're actually equipping families. You know, it was like in our our heart like we wanted to do that, but we just weren't doing it. And we didn't have the resources to do that. We didn't know where to go. And so connected families was just like a perfect partnership. It made so much sense. I started doing the certified parent coaching program and it just like fit so perfectly and then it felt like we were actually fulfilling the vision that we had for parents at our community seamlessly and it just was easy for us to do that because connected families gave us everything we needed and we believed in it so much. Well, like I said, I worked in the church context for for a couple decades, and let's just be honest, starting something new in church ministry can be challenging. I mean, we have a lot going on, especially if you're, you know, dealing with children or family ministry. Um, you have weekly volunteers you're organizing and special events that you're trying to coordinate. I got really good at event planning when I was on church staff, but it can be a challenge to just add something new, one more thing. So, Megan, when you were considering becoming an official connected families ministry partner, what were your biggest concerns or maybe hesitations when you first started um implementing our resources and becoming a partner? How did that work out?

11:32 >> Um, that's a good question because it does, you know, when you're a part of ministry in any sense, it's like managing how much do we throw at everyone, how much what how much new do we bring in? And so I think part of it was making sure like okay this is something we you know believe in and that our community needs which check we we knew that right away but I think part of the other things that we were hesitant about was like will everyone receive this? Is this going to be beneficial? Do are people going to feel like it's only for like ages you know 5 to 12? What about everyone else? So those were some of the hesitations.

12:05 Also, how do we fit it into our rhythm of our calendar and what does that look like in our church year? And so, just kind of being thoughtful and planning that. I think the other thing too is as a community trying new things and then what if it doesn't work and then does that look bad for us? I don't want it to look bad for connected families. So, those were some of the things that just I think went through our mind as we really and thoughtfully prayed about this partnership.

12:29 >> Awesome. Yeah. I mean, for sure those are concerns like is this going to be well received? So, how did that work out? Was it wellreceived? Did parents, you know, start coming to classes? Like, did you have a a support from the families in your ministry? >> Yeah, we have. And I know we'll talk about this a little bit more too, but it was so wellreceived. It was just really beautiful how people, it almost was like we had a huge sigh of relief where it was like, "Ugh, something like this is just what we needed." You know, we started with the discipline that connects course and it was our most well-attended summer class we've ever had at the church. And I mean, anyone who works in a church knows that having a small group meet in the summer, especially in Minnesota, is like not going to happen. Like maybe you'll get a few people, but it was so wellreceived.

13:15 It was so well attended that we just knew that it was it was going to work out. You know, if you're in like Lithuania or somewhere listening, Minnesota is cold and we spend our summers up at the lake. We have cabins and that's where people are during the summer and church attendance goes way down and so that's a big deal, Megan. >> It was huge. >> Yeah, that's that's great. You know, recently I was actually at an all day meeting kind of conference at Mercy Hill. your church was hosting it and it was not about parenting, but there was a breakout and I went into one of the classrooms and just I looked on the wall and I saw the biggest like it wasn't even a poster. It was like it had been painted on the wall or something of the connected families framework and I was like what? Wow. It really spoke to I think how Mercy Hill has integrated the connected families framework and courses and all of this. Okay. So the question is walk us through how you've actually incorporated the connected families resources into the ministry and we heard a little bit about funding the small group that Megan just said, but what has that looked like for you? I'm so glad, Stacy, that you noticed that giant connected families framework on the wall because we made them big because we wanted it to draw attention and we wanted adults, parents, the volunteers serving and the kids to have that visual reminder every time because as Megan and I talk about all the time, the framework is just something that and we keep coming back to it and we keep coming back to it and it takes time. It takes time for that to be built in our culture of our church and in our families. And so, yeah, to kind of get practical, there's a there's a few different ways I'll answer that. I guess the first thing to me that Megan has already touched on that feels really important is having her in particular, I'll just sing her praises, that having Megan Thorp in this picture or someone in the community who knows and cares about connected families to really pilot it, that was so key to our partnership. And to have a licensed parent coach, to have someone that we can turn to who kind of becomes the expert. So again for a parent who's listening maybe you don't have a say in decisions that are made but maybe you're passionate about this like become an expert study this learn it for any for it just took one person in our community who was passionate and educated about this framework and about how this could benefit the church so Megan has been a crucial and essential and wonderful part of this partnership.

15:51 I would say other smaller maybe things that we've done is like when we dedicate a baby we will give how to grow a connected family as one of the gifts as like as a way to equip and often if we find out that someone's pregnant that's another tool in my toolbox that's not like a habit we have but I really want to be able to equip families just in general I hear it more in conversations that are happening around the building in our house groups at the park at the lake just it's really fun over the years to see how we hear some of these focus is fertilizer. Did you try a doover? You know, just these different conversations in everyday settings in my work. Like I've said, I love having a framework to point people to because I'll get prayer requests and questions and pastoral conversations about parenting. And to have something that we as a community have agreed that we believe in and support and are resourced with has been amazing. And so really the practical I'm just I'm like going through a list in my head here. The practical the pedal to the ground what's in our church calendar right now for the next calendar year is we have landed on a I think a really beautiful rhythm of offering a workshop.

17:01 So like a 2-hour Saturday morning with child care and snacks workshop that Megan has done. And again, I've been the number one student at and I've been kind of the staff presence, but we have offered a workshop in the spring and that has created a really great on-ramp to our summer course. We have for now, this is our third summer of offering a course in the summer, something specific. We've done discipline that connects. We had a summer where we offered the sensitive and intense course for sensitive and intense kiddos. We had this summer we did grace and truth for parents. And like Megan said, we've never seen anything like this with summer attendance. And it's, you know, at our church, one of our philosophies is summer's a time as parents to lean in, both as a ministry, but also as parents. It's with we're with it's when we are with our kiddos more with school year rhythms changing. And it's a beautiful time to equip parents. And we didn't know, we didn't know if anyone would sign up. And it's our third year of having more people than we could have asked or imagined wanting to be part of it and being part of authentic real conversations about parenting. I guess the last note I'll make on that is one highlight for me was the summer we offered the sensitive and intense course. We also started a summer associate program for high schoolers that we wanted to equip our high schoolers to be student leaders to be working with the youth. And because we were offering this specific content, it felt so appropriate to also loop our high schoolers into that. So, we even did some mini training with our high schoolers of how specifically to work with sensitive and intense kiddos. And we wanted to make sure that parents who signed up for that that their children had an excellent experience. And I can say that they did. And you know what was really fun for me was I would meet with the high schoolers then every week to check in and equip them and do the trainings. and they would have such great ideas of like, well, this little girl, she doesn't want to separate from mom, but if you have a baby doll there, she will. And so the next week, we had a baby doll sitting there right by her name. And she walked in with the biggest eyes and waved, "Bye, mom." And we all looked at each other like, "This is amazing. I didn't know that. I didn't see that in my vantage point." But these high school students were have just been an incredible part of our community. And so another crown of this was Megan at our last training. We do like a back to school training for all of our volunteers of baby through adults. And she added into that training 30 minutes of connected families content of how to work with how to lead a small group through this lens. And it was a really great way to kind of get us all on the same page as we started a ministry year of knowing that when kids are here and adults, we're safe, we're loved, we're capable, we're responsible, and to keep just keep that message slowly dripping through the faucet of our content that we're sharing with with our community.

19:41 So, a lot of cool ways. Those are some of them. The things that we've done >> that was just it just blew me away. All of that is just amazing. I mean, I have just the biggest smile on my face. I see Cindy has one, too. But to train the youth, that's just like icing on the cupcake. I just think about those youth and maybe how they just found their life calling because of the extra training that you gave them and how they're going to have this lens of sensitivity to kids who maybe struggle. And wow, that's just phenomenal. You guys, we need to run to a break. I have a few more questions after the break. So, will you hold on for just a second? We'll be right back.

20:23 Hi, friends. Well, you've been hearing my conversation with Megan and Justy from Mercy Hill Church. I'm guessing that your ministry or one that you're a part of already touches the lives of many children and families. You know well that families are struggling and parents are overwhelmed. Well, through our ministry partnership program, churches, schools, and other Christian organizations are providing relevant parenting support anchored in the gospel and informed by brain science and research. Church staff, volunteers, and teachers are feeling equipped with trusted resources for themselves and to pass on to the parents that they work with. Would your church or preschool or ministry benefit? Our heartbeat is the same as yours to support Christ centered transformation in families that changes the course of their relationships to God and each other for generations.

21:19 Connected Families is known for the easy to remember framework. You've heard it before, right? You're safe, you're loved, you're called and capable, and you're responsible. It's our proven framework that can be applied to all parenting issues. I mean all. Just search our website, put in your parenting struggle, and you will find practical tools all grounded in scripture. Well, when you join the ministry partnership program, we don't just hand you materials and walk away. We walk alongside you, equipping you as you equip and support your families. We provide additional resources to train your teachers and volunteers with the framework. Because when parents grow, families flourish. We want families to flourish and I know you do too. Perhaps your role is to share this episode, this podcast episode with a ministry leader that you know who might be interested in learning more about what a ministry partnership with connected families entails. Or maybe you're ready to find out more about the partnership program yourself and see if it's a good fit.

22:22 Visit connectedfamilies.org/partnerships. That page is going to answer so many of your questions. But consider clicking through and signing up to talk to Cindy. Cindy's been on the show with me today. She would love to talk with you, answer more questions, and to connect. Either way, the next step is to visit connectedfamilies.org/partnerships. That page will answer all of your questions. And when you're there, consider clicking through to sign up to talk to Cindy. She was on the show today. You heard her voice. She would love to connect with you or somebody in a ministry that you love to see if ministry partnership is a good fit.

23:05 Thanks everybody. [Music] Okay you guys, we're here after the break. I have Megan Thorp and Justy Vra here from Mercy Hill explaining all about the ministry partnership program. It's been thrilling to see how you guys have been incorporating all the connected families content and materials into your church life. It's been beautiful. Well, I know that the ministry partnership program has different levels. So, any any ministry can come in at a different level, whatever. At the multiply partner level, you have access your own parent coach.

23:44 So, that's kind of been a thread through the conversation. And Megan, you have been the coach with Mercy Hill. So Justy, can you share how has this been different from just having a parenting class like a video you pop in? How has having that coach been different than just having resources? And what has that personal support actually looked like and felt like to you? >> Yeah, I'll just say Megan really has made the partnership what it is. And again, a strength of our church is this connection, authentic, vulnerable relationships. And so to have someone who is a safe and known person in our community that parents know that they can go to has been really a really important part of why I think there was so much momentum with it because Megan was known and respected and loved in our community even before becoming a parent coach. And so she really is just a wealth of knowledge for us all of us and has led workshops and classes. You know, when I was talking about the practical calendar, I forgot to even finish. We do a workshop in the spring, we offer a summer course, and then we have done one in the fall. And it's felt it's been a good refresher time to follow up with families who maybe did or didn't attend the previous ones. And Megan has led those. And again, I'm the student. I get to do the role plays. If you're a connected families people, you know that role plays are a part of it. And I get to be her child and all the role plays.

25:07 So that's my role. but she really rocks it with just her love for people and her knowledge of this framework. So this past spring, she even did like a group coaching session with some different families during an already existing program that we had for elementary students so parents could get coaching during that time while their kids were in programming and that worked really well. And so I know that even from her end, she's still navigating what it looks like and what it can look like.

25:33 And that's something her and I are continuing to talk and pray about how we can make the most of offering these resources to our community, especially through the parent coaching. So Megan's been great. Megan, >> I want to ask Megan just quick about some of those small groups that you led, but you know, not all ministries have someone like Megan that's so involved. And so I know Cindy created a resource because we were being asked for it about it's called the framework in the classroom. Cindy, will you just mention it quick?

26:04 >> Yeah, it's actually, if you look it up on our website, it's called discipline that connects in the classroom. And it's really taking that discipline that connects content and framing it from the context of a classroom setting. So, it's a great resource for equipping ministry uh volunteers or if you're in a school, you can equip your teachers. I've taught it to um a group of summer camp volunteers. So, for any kind of group setting, um it's set up as more like a workshop, a recorded workshop than it is a full online course, but it's a great resource um that you can show to your ministry volunteers or teachers >> to train them.

26:39 >> So, good. >> Yeah, exactly. All right. Well, Megan, back to you. I know you've been implementing connected families principles for several years now. I mean, long before y'all became official ministry partners. What changes have you seen in your church culture around parenting and family relationships? Yeah, I mean it's it's been so so cool to see the fruit of what we've kind of been doing for unofficially for the last three years or so. Like Justin mentioned, our community at its core is just very authentic and honest and vulnerable with each other. And so this has just created another space for parents to do that and to come and be like, "Oh, I'm not alone in that. I don't feel like this toxic belief that I have, you have, too." But we would have never shared that without this class.

27:23 And so that it's just been it's like a disciplehip tool that we've been able to use not only for parenting, but I think even in our community as like adult disciplehip where we're learning about how to navigate parenting together in just a really unique way. Just sharing all of the joys and challenges of that together without any shame has been so unifying. And you can see that and feel that in our community and in the relationships throughout like in the lobby and everywhere. you can you can just tell. And so I think that's just been really amazing to have that safe space for parents to be able to come and be vulnerable and have the common language and to sharpen each other and just hold each other accountable and kind of speak truth into each other's lives of like, man, I think I hear a toxic belief there. Like let's let's what is the graceful truth in that? And so it's it's just so comforting to have that with other parents who are walking through the same thing.

28:16 >> Love that. You know, we we talk a lot about parallel process here at connected families that these messages for our children that you're safe, you're loved, you're called and capable, you're responsible. We speak those same messages to ourselves and to other parents as well. And so the fact that you've created that environment where those messages are being communicated regularly is just a beautiful reflection of the heart behind the connected families partnership program that it's not just about adding another program.

28:45 It's about Christc centered transformation of children, of families, of homes and communities. What a beautiful picture. Thank you. Well, we are wrapping up our show today. I have one more question for Justy. Five, even 10 years from now, what do you hope families will say about how your church supported them and the important and let's be honest, very difficult task of raising children? Yeah, you know, I would hope people say they felt safe throughout the journey and connected to community that they felt capable and equipped by their body of believers and by the Holy Spirit and through these resources and responsible as parents.

29:25 And I would hope they would know the framework like the back of their hand. I hope those giant frameworks would have some space in their mental maps that they would mention things like focus is fertilizer. And I would love to hear that someone ask their adult child for a doover. And that as we continue to parent, as we grow as parents, that we continue these conversations with one another and with our kids. And I would really hope to leave a legacy of passing on God's grace and truth to the next generation.

29:52 >> I love that so much. H me too. That's why we're all here, aren't we? All four of us. We It's It's like-minded. And as I think about the ministry partnership program and what you're growing, Cindy, that's it. We are all striving for the same goals. And so to come along all of the different ministry partners, no matter what they look like, if it's a Christian school or a single mental health worker or a homeless shelter, like whatever it is that we're coming along you because we are all wanting God's grace and truth to permeate our relationships, particularly with our kids. That's this space, but we know it permeates all the relationships in our lives. Well, Megan and Justy, thank you so much for being with us today.

30:35 >> Thanks for having us. >> It's a pleasure. >> Yeah, >> Bendy, thanks for all the work you do each day to build the program and support each one of the ministry partners. I know you are doing an awesome, excellent job. >> Well, all glory be to God, but I'm just excited to be a part of what he's up to here at Connected Families. >> Well, thanks for tuning in today, friends. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with somebody who needs to hear about the ministry partnership program. You know, you can just text the link. Super easy to do that. But we would just love more ministries to know that they can feel more equipped and also be able to pass on their trusted and also have connected families resources to pass on to the families in their community. All right.

31:24 Connected Families is a nonprofit ministry made possible by The Table and other donors. The table is a group of people from around the world who are committed to Christc centered transformation in families. Their monthly giving equips parents and caregivers with biblical and researchinformed resources that cut the overwhelm and guide parents well. Would you consider joining us at the table today? Well, for more information about Connected Families, follow us on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, all the places. Go to connectedfamilies.org.

31:58 I will see you next time. [Music]