The Real Reason He Doesn’t “Get It”

0:00 I don't know why, but this is like a plague of us modern women that we're unable to articulate clearly what it is that we wanted and then to ask for it in a grounded, normal, polite, humanto human, feminine manner, which is much more likely to get us what we want. Right? And this is something that I teach every single month inside Desire Lab and inside my course, Married You. Because even though it doesn't sound like rocket science, for some reason it really is. For some reason, it hits us in our vulnerable place. Maybe it feels anti-feminist. Maybe it feels all sorts of things. I don't know exactly where it comes from, but so many times we blame our husband like he made me get up in the morning. He didn't get up and help and offer help when really I just I never even asked him to. And if I did ask him to, I asked him to in a very roundabout way that he couldn't track, right? I was it was gobbledegook to him.

0:49 He could not understand what you were saying. Right? Something like, "Oh, I have a really busy night tonight. I'm going to be up late next night." Okay? He did not make the seven steps of connection that meant by the way can you get up with the kids to let me sleep in. He doesn't follow your, you know, intricate web of decisions and consequences and mind readading that he's supposed to then offer this particular thing to you.