Transcript
0:00 - You know it's hard to be a kid. (gentle music) When you first become a parent you have this incredible desire for control, which is necessary 'cause otherwise the kid's gonna die. They can't feed themselves. They can't take care of themselves. They don't know what's dangerous. They don't know what's safe. And so, you are constantly helping them. But there comes a point where you have to recognize that they are their own autonomous being. You're not in control.
0:29 You think you're in control, but they got all kinds of stuff going on. They got their own genetic makeup, they've got their peers, they have the culture around them. They're not gonna care about exactly what you care about. Most parents can't accept that. When I look at my parents and I realize that I am them, not just, oh, I'm related to them, no, I'm them. I am an extension of them into this moment. And my children are an extension of me.
0:55 To be upset with their preferences is like saying, "I wish I liked tomatoes." I tried to like them every once in a while and then I gave up. It's not in me. And similarly, there are things I want my children to have and care about that I think are important. But I don't have trouble with me not liking tomatoes. This is me. My kids are the same way. They're pieces of me extending out into the world with their own variations of my wife and me.
1:18 The genes we gave them, the upbringing we gave them in our house. And when I'm at my best I love everything they do and choose, which is not easy.
Summary
- Parenting requires initial control for children's safety and well-being.
- Children eventually develop their own identities, influenced by genetics, peers, and culture.
- Many parents struggle to accept their children's differing preferences and interests.
- The speaker sees themselves as an extension of their parents and their children as extensions of themselves.
- Acceptance of children's choices is crucial, even when they differ from parental expectations.
- Embracing children's individuality can be challenging but is essential for healthy relationships.