My parenting mistake according to Maia!

0:00 You taught me how to do it differently. Do you remember and can you help others? I think when we're texting [music] and it's already lacking that verbal communication, when [music] something very defensive that comes from you arises in conversation, I pause the conversation. [music] I very distinctly say, "Okay, stop. Reread [music] what you wrote." And I say, "Do you see how many times you said [music] the word me and like turn it into but you to me?" When in reality it should be no, no, no, you, my mother, to me, the child, who's on the resulting end of something that [music] you did to me. I do it in the moment so that you're hyper aware of it. It [music] doesn't just go in one ear and out the other because I don't want to add on things throughout the conversation that is then going to lose that point. [music] And I show you how you end up validating yourself instead of me. Yeah, and that was such a revelation to me because if you had not shown me in real time what I was doing that was so cunning, my ego was so cunning, you are in pain right now. You are hurt by something >> [music] >> and all you need is me to acknowledge, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. My bad. I won't do [music] it again." But instead I go in this spinning thing of defense and I think so many parents need to realize that.