Transcript
0:00 is about communicating in the big picture of life you are loved and enjoyed and then in the heat of the moment with your child you are loved no matter what even though you are spitting mad right now God loves you and I love you and I'm gonna deal with you and respond to you out of that love the child you are responsible for your actions you're responsible for your life and so rather than me trying to give a
0:25 consequence so it hurts so bad that they'll never want to do it again when we're talking about you're responsible we're really talking about this idea of helping them grow in wisdom helping them become more wise well our consequences help them grow to become wiser and so we talk about make it right choice or make it right consequences do overs Lord give me you for this and I can already hear them ramping up in there so I know I know
1:01 what how would you like it if I said stinky stinky land would you like that no I know you don't know you don't but I do do you want to say stinky stinky daddy or should I take my shoes off no I don't question is what's it like to be my kids what messages do these little ones who more than at any age are looking to us to help them figure out who they are what are they getting from
1:27 me now what what what what you are message am i communicating to them hey could you just stop for a sec but take a look here Oh what are you what are you supposed to be doing yeah I'm supposed to be doing math and I hate math yes you know you've been paying attention yes you know you're supposed to be doing math and this kind of becomes a distraction for you and and to be honest probably me too right it's not because I
1:59 don't love you it actually is because I do care about you that I want you to learn good habits right so I'm gonna ask for the phone and I'll keep it for a few minutes okay you get going and then we'll talk about it after dinner and cut see if this is something that you're gonna get back again or when you get it back as this continues to be an issue how do our kids see our well intended
2:23 and justified efforts to be the authority our experience over years of doing this is that most of the time if our goal is to take control as our means of authority we lose authority with our kids rather than gain it as compared to when we can come in with a heart of grace for our kids and truth a mix of kindness and firmness that keeps our kids accountable without sacrificing a sense of them being loved and valued
2:55 even though they have misbehaved
Summary
- Communicate unconditional love to children, even in moments of frustration.
- Focus on helping children grow in wisdom rather than solely punishing misbehavior.
- Use consequences as learning opportunities to encourage wise decision-making.
- Reflect on the messages parents convey to their children about their identity and worth.
- Maintain authority through kindness and firmness rather than control.
- Encourage good habits and accountability while ensuring children feel valued.
- Recognize that a heart of grace fosters better relationships and authority with children.