Which Parenting Style is Best? | Dad University

0:00 in this video we're going to be looking at different parenting styles and their effects on children when you first have a baby you're really in survival mode you're putting out fires all the time and you're focused on diapers sleeping napping and all of these new experiences that come with having a baby as your child grows and your child starts to understand things more you interact with the child more you begin to start thinking about parenting you

0:30 look to the future a lot more and what the child is going to be like and how your actions are going to affect your child as a result you start thinking about the parenting style that you want to have i'm going to cover four major parenting styles we'll discuss what each one of them is about and what are the effects on children in the end do children seem to thrive more with one parenting style versus another this

0:57 may help you decide which parenting style works best for you i know which one works best for me hey guys i'm jason kreidman creator of the dad university parenting program i work with dads and help them gain more confidence in their parenting learn effective discipline strategies and strengthen the connections with their families the origins of parenting styles go back to the 1960s with a clinical and behavioral psychologist named diana bombrine she is credited with defining three different parenting styles

1:28 and their effects on children the three different bomb rhine parenting styles are also known as pillar theory now here's the styles we're going to go over them in much more detail first authoritarian parenting style second permissive parenting style and then third authoritative parenting style in the 1980s stanford researchers eleanor mcabee and john martin created a fourth parenting style this was the uninvolved or neglectful parenting style

1:59 we'll review these a little more and you can see which style is best for you now a little bit of a disclaimer here when i say that you know children will end up this way or most likely be this way nothing is absolute and nothing is guaranteed there's just been a tremendous amount of research over time that shows that this is a likelihood or more likelihood that something is going to happen also other factors like the child's

2:26 temperament or the culture you live in or you know the social influences those can all have an effect on what the child ends up like so before you comment that you were raised this way and you are not that way as a result of the way that you were parented i understand this is not an absolute guarantee this is just based on the likelihood of what researchers have found over the years okay the first parenting style

2:54 number one authoritarian authoritarian parents are strict and have high expectations especially when it comes to obedience now they have a lot of expectations as it relates to the rules and children not breaking those rules yet there's not much discussion or explanation about the rules children are just supposed to know the rules you may hear an authoritarian parent say something like uh because i said so or

3:24 because i'm the parent the style is controlling and offers little choice or options for the child this is the way it is as you can imagine there isn't a lot of warmth or nurturing with authoritarian parents you know the children of the authoritarian parents often associate uh obedience with love the positives of this style is that you would have a child who is obedient and follows instructions however it is said that children of authoritarian parents are

3:55 less happy their social competence is lower and they typically report lower self-esteem so the children don't feel very good about themselves a lot of dads use the authoritarian style because of either their need to control or it was the way that they were raised and they feel that it works they may feel that being strict and disciplined will result in a child that behaves better now while that part might be true you'll have a better behaved child you

4:26 may want to consider some of the other parts of the authoritarian style that could have a negative impact on the child can you be strict but approach it in a more positive way so that it has a better impact on the child well we'll find out a little bit more towards the end of this video for now let's continue with number two the uninvolved or neglectful parenting style now you're watching this video so i'm gonna make the assumption

4:52 that this is not your preferred style there is no argument that the uninvolved and neglectful parenting style is the most damaging to kids it basically says that you know the parent would provide maybe food shelter and clothing but that's about it the parent doesn't provide any of the physical or emotional or psychological needs of the child an uninvolved parent doesn't provide any affection doesn't set rules or boundaries and

5:24 certainly doesn't get involved in any of the child's activities they're basically leaving the child to fend for themselves children of uninvolved or neglectful parents have a hard time forming relationships they lack trust in others and usually have a difficult time dealing with other children there really isn't anything positive to say about uninvolved or neglectful parents number three permissive parenting style this is also known as indulgent parenting it lacks structure limits and boundaries

5:56 the parent doesn't attempt to regulate the child's behavior so as a result the child doesn't really know what is acceptable behavior permissive parents often want to be the child's friend instead of the parent they're very lenient so they don't really monitor or guide the children's behavior permissive parents will often use bribes or gifts as rewards for behavior on a good note permissive parents are very loving and fun and the environments are usually warm and friendly but over time

6:28 not having those limits and boundaries can have its consequences children of the permissive parenting style often have difficulty with self-regulation and they report low levels of happiness they have problems with authority and they often perform poorly in school the lack of self-regulation and poor impulse control often means that these children are overweight or more susceptible to drug and alcohol abuse remember earlier i mentioned being strict but

6:58 possibly doing it in a more positive way well if that's of interest to you then you'll like number four authoritative parenting style while this style offers a warm and responsive environment sort of like permissive parenting that's where the similarities end the authoritative parenting style has high standards sets limits and has boundaries so you get the boundaries and the setting of limits and that modification of behavior that you might desire but you do it with cooperation and

7:31 communication if you've ever heard of positive parenting this falls under the authoritative parenting style it's about guiding children with reason and respect an authoritative parent will listen to their child and they'll take their feelings and emotions into consideration children of authoritative parents are shown to be happier more capable and often do better in school they are also often more independent socially accepted and have less anxiety and depression as

8:03 well as less drug use of course there are different nuances and levels of each one of these styles but we categorize them so that we can help define what they're about the teachings of dad university fall under the authoritative parenting style while you can learn a lot from all of our videos this is exactly why i've created the dad university parenting program it's going to help you gain confidence in your parenting and learn all of these different

8:32 strategies to be effective when it comes to discipline having your kids listen and many of the challenges that we face as parents you want to give your child the best opportunity to be happy self-reliant confident and have good behavior in order to do that it takes understanding the skills and techniques in parenting that way this is not something that we are born knowing we have to learn it and that's exactly what we focus on here if you are a dad and you're interested

9:02 in learning more about our parenting program i'll put a link in the description below you can make a free appointment to talk with us don't leave it up to chance take action now and be the amazing parent that you were destined to be i would also love to hear from you did you decide what parenting style works best for you leave your feedback in the comment section below if you enjoyed this video please give it a thumbs up subscribe to

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