Watch this to understand kids

0:00 If you think about who you are when you're a newborn baby, you have no idea that you're actually your own being. You think you are one and the same as your parent. And then around age two, give or take, there's a shift that happens. We've called it the terrible twos because we think it's also horrible, but it's actually such a wonderful display of development. When our kids realize, oh, wait a second, I actually am not you. And so now I'm going to declare me do self that I am my own person on some level and then we get to those pre-teen teen years and the next shift is going to be to try and sort of create a little separation now because that's what I need to do to figure out who am I. They by definition need to step away from us a little bit. And historically there were rights of passage and rituals around all of that which of course in our modern times we don't have any of that anymore. And then the problem becomes because we don't allow for it structurally, our kids have to create it. So that step away then becomes a bit of like a push away. And now like if you're very straight laced and you've always dressed them a certain way and parted their hair and have everything just so they're going to be like I'm totally going grunge because they have to be their own person. There's the natural step away, but there's also in moments where they're not feeling super connected, they're actually meant to resist our direction. It's another way to claim a piece of who I am. It's not personal. Let's adolescence.