# 

**Platform:** youtube
**Duration:** 23m
**Source:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4

## Transcript

[[0:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=14s)
>> Thank you so much. Thank you so much, President Christ, the board
of trustees, members of the faculty, devoted parents and friends, and especially the fabulous
class of 2013. Congratulations, you've reached the light
at the end of the tunnel, and when you first arrived at Smith four years ago, I'm sure
you never imagined that at the end of that tunnel, there would be a lady behind a podium
talking to you in a funny accent.

[[0:49]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=49s)
This accent has been the bane of my existence
until in 1980 I moved to New York from England, and I met Henry Kissinger, and he said to
me, don't ever worry about your accent. In American public life, you can never underestimate
the advantages of complete and total incomprehensivibility. I am so grateful to be with you at this very
special moment.

[[1:23]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=83s)
You don't know it, but I have spent the last
few weeks stalking you. On your Smith websites, on your Twitter feeds,
on Facebook, on Instagram, on Tumblr, so I could get to know you better. So here's what I have found. You are fascinating and curious and quirky
and asking the big questions and worrying about the little things and solving the cosmic
riddles and agonizing about what shoes to wear at commencement.

[[1:59]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=119s)
And what happens if you trip and become a
YouTube sensation. I've learned about Smith is writing honors
thesis on subjects that I don't only understand but I can't even pronounce. Like Lisa Stephanie Condon's thesis on -- hi,
Lisa. I want you to hear her thesis pronounced in
a Greek accent. On entropy and anthropic contributions to
the keloid effect.

[[2:31]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=151s)
I learned about three seniors who are part
of the basketball team which made the division III NCAA Tournament, a historic accomplishment
to add to their already -- lots of fans for them. A historic accomplishment to add to your already
historic status as the birth place of women's basketball. I've learned about the many Smithies who will
be the first in their families to graduate from college.

[[3:08]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=188s)
[ Applause ].
Like Marciel De LOS Santos, who began her journey in the Dominican republic. So before I go any further, because I've been
so impressed, I feel compelled to extend to all of you, graduating class of 2013, a lifelong
invitation to blog on The Huffington Post. About your graduation and about all your adventures
on the next stage of the journey you are starting today, and in order to bypass the growing
Huffington Post bureaucracy, I'm going to give you right now my e-mail address.

[[3:55]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=235s)
Arianna@Huffingtonpost.com, and you can send
it directly to me and get a password for life. Getting to know you has made me feel very
protective of you, especially because I have two daughters who are about your age, college
age kids, and it has also made me realize that you don't need protection because you're
absolutely ready and prepared to take on the world.

[[4:31]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=271s)
And if you have attended the center for work
and life, you even have a passport to life after Smith with the opportunity to learn
things like job interviewing skills, how to ballet budget, cook a healthy meal, and even
change a tire. So you can consider my speech today a continuation
of the passport to life after Smith, though in the interest of full disclosure, I can't
cook and definitely cannot change a tire.

[[5:03]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=303s)
But part of life after Smith will be deciding
what things do you want to put your energy into and what things you don't. It was a big revelation for me when I realized
that I didn't have to complete everything I thought I wanted to do, like learning German
or becoming a good skier or learning to cook. Indeed I realized that you can complete a
project by dropping it. Now, commencement speakers are traditionally
expected to tell graduates how to get out there and climb the ladder of success, but
I want to ask you instead to redefine success because the world you're headed into desperately
needs it and because you're up to it.

[[5:56]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=356s)
Your education at Smith has made it unequivocally
clear that you're entitled to take your place in the world on equal footing in every field
and at the top of every field. But what I urge you to do is not just to take
your place at the top of the world but to change the world. What I urge you to do is to lead the third
women's revolution. The first was led by the suffragists over
100 years ago when brave women like Susan B.
Anthony and Elizabeth Katie Stanton fought, amongst other things, to give women the right
to vote.

[[6:41]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=401s)
The second women's revolution was powerfully
led by Smith alumni, Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinham. They fought, and Gloria continues to fight
to expand the role of women in our society, to give us full access to the rooms of power
where decisions are being made. And while the second revolution is still in
progress, we simply cannot wait any longer for the third revolution to begin, and I can't
imagine a place where I would be more likely to find the leaders of that revolution than
right here at Smith.

[[7:26]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=446s)
At the moment, our society's notion of success
is largely composed of two parts, money and power. In fact, success, money, and power have practically
become synonymous. But it's time for a third metric, beyond money
and power, one founded on well-being, wisdom, our ability to wonder and to give back.

[[7:58]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=478s)
You know, money and power by themselves are
like a two-legged stool. You can balance on them for a while, but eventually
you're going topple over, and more and more people, very successful people, are toppling
over every day. Basically, success the way we've defined it
is no longer sustainable. It's not sustainable for human beings. It's not sustainable for the planet.

[[8:33]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=513s)
To live the lives we want and not just the
lives we settle for, the lives according to society's definition of success, we need to
include the third metric. In 2004, President Christ gave a speech that
was really ahead of its time. It was titled inside the clock work of women's
careers. To me it's very much a third women's revolution
call to arms. She spoke of the need to dispel myths about
ambition and success, chief among them the myth that success and ambition make a straight
line.

[[9:11]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=551s)
It's no surprise the myth of success and ambition
created by men would be, yes, a long, phallic shaped straight line. But if we don't redefine success, the personal
price we pay will get higher and higher. As the data shows, already the price is much
higher for women than for men.

[[9:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=583s)
Among career women who have stressful jobs
-- and which career woman doesn't? There is a nearly 40 percent increased risk
of heart disease and a 60 percent increased risk of diabetes. And in the last 30 years, as women have made
strides and gains in the workplace, self-reported levels of stress have gone up by 18 percent. Another Smith graduation speaker, Alistair
Cook, notoriously told the class of 1954 that their way to the top would be determined by
the men they marry.

[[10:22]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=622s)
Well, I want to do old Alistair one better
and tell you you don't get to the top by marrying someone. A much simpler way is to sleep your way to
the top. Right now I imagine President Christ is thinking
she probably should have edited this speech, but, no, I'm talking about sleep in the literal
sense because right now the workplace is absolutely fueled by sleep deprivation and burnout.

[[11:11]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=671s)
I actually know of what I speak because in
2007 sleep deprived and exhausted, I fainted, hit my head on my desk, broke my cheekbone,
and got four stitches on my right eye, and that was the beginning of my re-acquainting
myself with sleep and with a need to redefine success to include our own sense of well-being
because, even if sleep deprivation is not affecting your health, it's affecting your
creativity, your productivity, and your decision making.

[[11:47]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=707s)
Did you know that the Exxon Valdez wreck,
the explosion of the Challenger space shuttle, and the nuclear accidents at Chernobyl and
Three Mile Island were at least all partially the result of decisions made on too little
sleep? And according to researchers at Walter Reed
Hospital, the only thing that gets better with sleep deprivation is magical thinking
and reliance on superstition. So for those of you majoring in fortune telling,
go ahead and burn the midnight oil.

[[12:21]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=741s)
The rest of you, not so much. As you can tell by now, I'm a major sleep
evangelist. Indeed, at the Huffington Post in our news
room, we have two nap rooms. And at first hundreds of editors and reporters
and engineers were very reluctant to be seen in the middle of the afternoon having a nap,
but now the two nap rooms are continuously booked, and we need to open a third.

[[12:53]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=773s)
Although I must say the other day I was walking
by one of the nap rooms, and I saw two people coming out of the nap room. And I thought to myself, whatever it takes
to recharge yourself. Just please don't tell HR, okay? What adding well-being to our definition of
success means is, in addition to looking after our financial capital, we need to look after
our human capital.

[[13:30]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=810s)
My mother was an expert at that. I remember when I was 12 years old, a successful
Greek businessman came to dinner at our home in Athens, and he told us how well everything
was going in his life. My mother looked at him looking burned out,
exhausted, drained, and said to him, I don't care how well your business is doing. You're not taking care of you. Your business might have a great bottom line,
but you are your most important capital.

[[13:59]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=839s)
There are only so many withdrawals you can
make from your health bank account, but you just keep on withdrawing. You could go bankrupt if you don't make some
deposits soon. And indeed, not long after that, the man had
to be admitted for an angioplasty. When we include well-being in our definition
of success, another thing that changes is our relationship with time. Right now we are all so stressed out about
time, that every time we look at our watch, it's later than we think.

[[14:33]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=873s)
Researchers have a term for it, time famine. And Dr.
Seuss wrote about it ahead of the researchers, of course. How did it get so late so soon, he wrote. It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness, how the time has flown. How did it get so late so soon? Does it feel familiar to anyone, or more likely,
to everyone? The problem is that as long as success is
defined by just money and power, climbing and burnout, we will never have the time to
be able to enjoy that other aspect of the third metric, wonder.

[[15:14]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=914s)
I was blessed with a mother who was living
in a constant state of wonder, whether she was washing the dishes or feeding sea gulls
at the beach or reprimanding overworking businessmen, she maintained her sense of wonder, delighted
at both the mysteries of the universe and the everyday little things that fill our lives. And whenever I'd complain or be upset about
something, she would say to me, darling, change the channel. You're in control of the clicker.

[[15:47]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=947s)
Don't replay that bad, scary movie. And one of the gifts that that attitude to
life gave her was the ability to cut through hierarchies. I remember one night I was living in London
and dating a Tory member of parliament. It must have been one of those decisions made
on sleep deprivation. And he brought home to dinner the then Prime
Minister Ted heath. My mother was in the kitchen, where she was
most of the time, and a plumber had to come in to fix some last minute problem.

[[16:23]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=983s)
So my mother asked the plumber what he thought
of the Prime Minister. Not much, the plumber said, he hasn't been
good for working people. Oh, my mother said, let me go bring him here
so you can tell him directly. And she didn't think there was any problem
at all about bringing the Prime Minister into the kitchen, and that's where he sat down
and heard a mouthful from the plumber. Well-being, wonder, and now the third W, wisdom.

[[16:52]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1012s)
If you look around you, you see leaders in
positions of power, in politics, in media, in business -- all of them with high IQs,
great degrees, making terrible decisions. What is missing is not IQ, but wisdom. And today it's getting harder and harder to
tap into our own wisdom because we are all so hyperconnected to our devices, our screens,
our social media that we're having a hard time disconnecting from technology and reconnecting
with ourselves.

[[17:30]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1050s)
Your very own, very wise Smith sophomore Erin
McDaniel wrote in the Sophian about her decision to disconnect from all social media. We have given up real social connections in
favor of superficial technology-bridged ones. We have become in many cases nearly as socially
robotic as our computers. Now, you don't have the head of a digital
company telling you to completely disconnect from technology.

[[18:01]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1081s)
What I'm telling you is to regularly disconnect
from technology, to regularly unplug and recharge in order to reconnect with ourselves and our
own deepest wisdom. Because I'm convinced there are two fundamental
truths about human beings. The first truth is that we all have within
us a centered place of wisdom, harmony, and strength.

[[18:36]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1116s)
This is a truth that all the world's religions,
whether Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism -- all hold one truth, that peace is within. But the truth is we're going to spend most
of our lives not in that place. We keep veering away from that place again
and again and again. In fact, we may spend our lives off course
more than we are on course.

[[19:06]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1146s)
At the Huffington Post, we even launched an
app called GPS for the soul that gives you a proxy for stress and then personalized guides
that help you course correct. But that snake in the garden of Eden, our
hyperconnectivity to technology is so Wiley that we have to be even more Wiley and use
technology in order to disconnect from technology. When we are in that certain place of wisdom,
harmony, and strength, life is transformed from struggle to grace, and we are suddenly
filled with trust.

[[19:44]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1184s)
No matter how many setbacks, challenges, and
disappointments we are facing because there is a purpose to life that is often hidden
and that often makes sense only when we look back at our lives, not as we're experiencing
it. And basically, when we move to that place
of trust and grace, we can live our lives as Reumy suggested, as if everything is rigged
in our favor.

[[20:16]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1216s)
So we talked about wisdom, well-being, and
wonder, and now the last element of the third metric of success -- empathy, compassion,
the willingness to give back. The founding fathers wrote about the pursuit
of happiness, but if you go back to the original documents, as I'm sure all of you Smithies
have done, happiness does not mean the pursuit of more ways to be entertained. It's the happiness that comes from feeling
good by doing good.

[[20:49]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1249s)
Of course, many of you already know that. Smithies have given back in countless ways
near and far, working with Chinese schools and NGOs through the Smith China project,
spending time in the community with people with disabilities through the Best Buddies
program, tutoring children in Holly Oak and using digital story telling to start conversations
about health issues in Springfield. So as you leave this beautiful campus to follow
your dreams and scale great heights in whatever field you choose, I beg you don't buy society's
definition of success because it's not working for anyone.

[[21:38]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1298s)
It's not working for women. It's not working for men. It's not working for polar bears. It's not even working for the cicadas that
are about to emerge and swarm us. It's only truly working for those who make
pharmaceuticals for stress, sleeplessness, and high blood pressure. So please don't settle for just breaking through
glass ceilings in a broken corporate system or a broken political system where so many
leaders are so disconnected from their wisdom that we are careening from one self-inflicted
crisis to another.

[[22:27]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1347s)
Change much more than the M to a W at the
top of the corporate flow chart. Change it by going to the root of what's wrong
and redefining what we value and what we consider success. And remember that while there will be many
sign posts along your path directing you to make money and climb up the ladder, there
will be very few sign posts reminding you to stay connected to the essence of who you
are. To reach out, to pause to wonder, and to connect
to that place from which everything is possible.

[[23:05]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1385s)
My great compatriot Archimedes said, give
me a place to stand, and I can move the world. So find your place to stand for your wisdom
and strength, and from that place lead the third women's revolution and remake the world
in your own image, in your own definition of success so that all of us, women and men,
can live our lives with more grace, more joy, more empathy, more gratitude, and, yes, more
love.

[[23:43]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ25qEHgcM4&t=1423s)
So class of 2013, congratulations, onward,
upward, and inward. Thank you. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]