Unplanned Pregnancy - How Men Can Deal with an Unwanted or Unexpected Child | Dad University

0:00 you just found out you're going to be a father but this was an unplanned pregnancy it was unexpected and even unwanted we're not gonna play that you should have done this or you could have done that you're in this situation so in this video we're gonna help you figure out what you need to do [Music]

0:35 hey guys I'm Jason crimen and welcome to another episode of dad University we cover a different dad advice topic every Thursday so be sure to subscribe to the channel and click on that notification bell so you don't miss any of our videos unwanted pregnancy is not an easy situation to be in I'm sure your thoughts are going crazy and all over the place and that's what brought you to this video but let's start by taking a

1:05 deep breath it's going to be okay before we get into exactly what you can do let's look at some of the possible scenarios that you might be facing I am making the assumption that you've already spoken to the mother of the child about the plan if you have not that's going to be your priority you have to have the important and real conversation with her a disclaimer though your beliefs or her beliefs may come into play here so for some people

1:36 not all of these are options scenario number one you both agree to terminate the pregnancy if this is the case then this video really doesn't apply scenario number two you both want to have the baby well if that's the case congratulations the rest of the dad University videos will be helpful to you scenario number three she does not want to have the baby but you do well at least in the United States I'm not sure

2:06 how it is in the rest of the world she does not need your consent in order to terminate the pregnancy so there really isn't much you can do and scenario number four she wants to keep the baby but you don't again in the u.s. men don't have much say if she wants to keep the baby she can do so so this is the scenario of an unwanted pregnancy let's take a look at what you can do number

2:34 one step up and commit so what does this mean well you are 50% parent to that child and very important to their well-being so you have step up don't let anyone especially her convince you that you shouldn't be involved or that you don't need to be involved the child is going to be better off with a solid and involved father even if you and the mother do not work out you need to be fifty percent to that

3:06 child it's not ninety ten it's not 75 25 it's not sixty forty it is 50/50 commit to it number two mentally begin preparing so you might be really scared and that's totally normal in fact I think it's a good thing that you're scared it means that you really care so even though this is an unexpected pregnancy you have to begin mentally preparing for the baby's arrival I want

3:37 you to look at this situation as a blessing you now have the opportunity to positively impact another person you can do it number three improve your situation when you have a baby on the way whether it's an unplanned pregnancy or not us men have a tendency to question the situation and our capabilities am I going to be a good enough father can I afford this baby am I mature enough to

4:08 handle this situation nothing speeds that process up like having a child on the way do you have to finish school you might have to get a higher paying job you maybe have to look at the people that you're hanging around are you partying too much too much social activity you have a baby on the way it's time to get serious and remember your involvement is crucial you are 50% so you've got to act like it whether you like it or not

4:39 number four set up your network if you can try to get support from your friends and family and do this far in advance like now you're gonna want to give them some time to prepare if they're going to be involved in supporting you but here's a note do not expect anything from anyone No buddy is obligated to help you but if there are people around you that are willing to help and offering their help then allow them to do so number five be

5:10 empathetic towards the mother so empathy is putting yourself in the other person's situation or seeing things from their perspective so just like you she's going through some emotional and mental things but the difference she also has to go through the physical changes and that is much harder than your situation being empathetic can solve so many problems it allows you to get along with others and harmony is going to be something you're gonna want during an

5:42 unexpected pregnancy number six do it for the child so whether it's getting along with the mother stopping your partying saving money making more money do it for your child remember 50% and your child deserves it I understand that an unwanted pregnancy it's it's not ideal but it's real and being a father is an amazing incredible experience you have the opportunity to make a

6:12 difference take that opportunity I believe in you and we'll be here in support of your journey I'd love to hear from you are you in a situation in which you have an unexpected pregnancy leave your feedback in the comment section below be sure to give this episode a thumbs up subscribe to the channel click on that notification bell and share this video on social media we thank you for watching and we'll see you next week [Music]